Monday, March 8, 2010

Happy Birthday Sophie


What does one write on this day? Fifteen years of staring into the dark pools of her eyes, wondering what she is thinking, what she sees and knowing that she very possibly knows all. Tracing the thin scar that lies one inch above her right eyebrow, the mark of a fall, long ago when the pool of blood under her head made me draw in my breath and out to her. Tracing the thin ridge of her nose, the faint freckles, the delicate flutter of her breath. The full beautiful lips that form no words but curve gently, rarely, in a smile. The soft, curly hair and tiny rounded shoulders, the downy hair on the nape of her neck, the straight back and gentle, graceful body. Her hands are like birds, long slender fingers untouched by labor or use, tapered like some sort of ethereal musician. What does one write on this day when she is fifteen years old? I love birthdays, my own included, but especially those of my sweet children. For Sophie, the birthday is something different, something more ephemeral, something to be seized, to mark, to be grateful for, another year, another year, another year.

Last week during a meditation I saw a mermaid swim before my eyes, undulating by me, her tail the greens and blues of legend, her hair a floating mass of curls but I couldn't see her face. I'm not sure how to describe the vision exactly, but I was filled with the immediacy of Sophie, filled with knowing that she had swum into my life, swum from my body and was on her way. I realized in the moment that she swam by, from the corner of my eye that I was wasting my time in sorrow and that there was only joy in her.

Happy Birthday, Sophie-girl!

35 comments:

  1. What a beautifully written post about your girl. Amazing meditation experience. To see things from her perspective, how things seem to her, you can feel the peace. The love your family gives her carries her no doubt. She gives you something, this spiritual wisdom, but she requires so much selflessness. That word, the Sanskrit word that Amma uses, is seva. There are many stories in ancient texts, of people caring for loved ones who, just by the nature of selfless giving, reach enlightenment. Your strength is admirable. We don't know how we will handle a situation until we are in it. I pray for divine Grace to bless her on this day. And for whatever it's worth, I believe in miracles.

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  2. Happy birthday Sophie, and many warm hugs to you Elizabeth. Thank you for sharing your realization, the perfect thing to write on this day.

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  3. Happy Birthday Sophie

    Happy Birthday Elizabeth

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  4. As a parent of a daughter myself, I'd like to thank you for a beautifully-written, moving post.

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  5. Happy Birthday Sophie! You are quite lovely. I hope the joy of the day brings one of those rare smiles to your sweet face.

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  6. Mermaid hair and mermaid eyes
    And she swims just past where you
    Can catch her thoughts
    But she extends a hand for you
    To catch
    And you pull her close
    Your mermaid girl she knows
    The softness of her mother in an
    Otherwise
    Otherworldly world.
    Happy birthday Sophie
    Happy birth-day Elizabeth
    I wish you many smiles and
    sweet swimming, sweet dreaming, sweet cakes and love.

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  7. Oh, so beautiful! Happy Birthday, my SoCal Sophie!

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  8. Happy birthday to your girl. Sending you all my love.

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  9. happy birthday to your beautiful sophie. my god you have a way with words...

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  10. I'm crying reading this. What a beautiful girl. What a beautiful mother. What love. Happy Birthday, dear Sophie.

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  11. I love the image of your daughter as a mermaid. Beautiful.

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  12. Happy Birthday to you and your beautiful mermaid-girl. Sophie's presence in this world is a miracle to me. God bless you and give you all a very happy day celebrating the gift of her presence! XOXO

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  13. Happy Birthday, Sophie! This is such a gorgeous tribute of a mother's love, Elizabeth. Perfect.

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  14. I remember the night she was born. Michael and I played Scrabble in the hospital room while you sat in quiet meditation, excited, hopeful, hooked up to monitors, bearing each contraction with calm strength, no cries of pain or even (as I remember it now) any break at all in your peaceful concentration. I see you that way still, gracefully bearing the pain and soaking in the beauty of Sophie's life, which carry you forward (sometimes pushing you back) like waves in an ocean. The mermaid and her mother. Much love to you both on this day. With, as always, hope and peace. M

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  15. The happiest of birthdays to your lovely Sophie.

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  16. your writing is so beautiful
    I usually don't have the patience to read most stuff .... but never yours .... you paint pictures with words .... your Sophie is a vision of loveliness and perfection in this ugly and imperfect world

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  17. Beautiful birthday tribute to the lovely Sophie!

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  18. Happy Birth-day to both of you, with much love and many hopes for all the tomorrows to come. May they be filled with joy and happiness and all the good things that you both so richly deserve.

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  19. She's other worldly, for sure.

    What a lovely post, Elizabeth. Happy birthday to Sophie, and love to you.

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  20. Oh, oh, this is glorious. You sure can write. I loved your mermaid vision and realization. I love this glimpse into you and her.
    I love this photo.
    Happy birthday to both of you.
    All of you.

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  21. Happy Happy Day to you sweet Sophie!! Wishing you a peaceful day with your amazing family!

    (Beautiful words, Elizabeth! Sophie is so fortunate to have you as her mom! I mean that!)

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  22. Beautiful! Both your post and your Sophie. Happy happy birthday to the Mermaid!

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  23. Beautiful beautiful post! Happy Birthday to Sophie and to you Elizabeth. xo.

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  24. What a lovely post to celebrate your daughter. Thank you for sharing such heartfelt words. Happy Birthday.

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  25. Beautiful. Everything; the love and the sight and the understanding. I'm thankful for the comfort of your vision. I know your mind will bring it back when you need light.

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  26. This is gorgeous, Elizabeth. Happy birthday to your Sophie and to you. I'm so grateful for your lovely writing.

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  27. Happy Birthday, beautiful Sophie -
    With love Barbara

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  28. Happy Birthday, Sophie!. And what a beautiful post, Elizabeth. Have I mentioned lately that I love your blog?

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  29. my darling mermaid and her divine mother,
    truly
    your words stitch my heart
    to the very stars and back. they lead me through the depths of motherlove
    in a sea of grace.
    they speak of strength, foreverness,and beauty.
    this life, you share,
    this
    love
    you
    breath.

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  30. can you please place an e on the end of breath?

    yes, breathe!
    (that's better!)

    xoxoxox,
    r

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  31. I just had a chance to read this today and I am weeping for you and for our beautiful Sophie, not because I am sad but because I feel joy that she is in my life and because you have a way of putting into words what I am always thinking. One year older, one year older, one year older!!!!!
    xoxo Cara

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  32. so beautifully written.
    Happy birthday Sophie.

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  33. I have only just begun to read your blog...this was such a lovely post...Breath taking in your love for your daughter...I am touched and I look forward to reading your blog...

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  34. "I realized in the moment that she swam by, from the corner of my eye that I was wasting my time in sorrow and that there was only joy in her."

    These fleeting moments of revelation... I wish we could hang on to them more through the grimness of the everyday. I'm thankful for your ability to write it all... the grim and the transcendent.

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  35. crying. this is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.

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