Friday, January 27, 2012

Surfing Friday - Things I Like



Moms are Solutionary Revolutionaries



Piano Music

What I Mean by Fake Work
What I Mean by Cheerful Pretending

What do you like? I'd love a discussion about the last two, if you're so inclined. Oh, and I've started my old food blog up, again.  Here's the link: How To Eat

5 comments:

  1. I visited Jennifer's extraordinary blog. She has such amazing things to say and she writes so well. It is heartening to think from new perspectives about things I suspect we already know to some extent but cannot yet put into words. Jennifer does it for us.

    Reading her second post listed here on 'cheerful pretending', I found myself thinking that one of the things I enjoy is daydreaming: I'm faced with a tough scenario and I start to imagine all sorts of wonderful and almost magical outcomes.

    When I was little and my teeth were rotten but I was terrified to visit a dentist for fear of the shame that might follow his first visit into my mouth. I used to imagine going into surgery, being anesthetized and waking up with false teeth, no pain no shame. Fortunately it did not happen like that. I had to go through the pain of that initial visit to the dentist but I'm sure my daydreams helped me in the buildup to getting the courage and the help I needed to get there.

    Thanks, Elizabeth.

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  2. I have survived on cheerful pretending and hope to for a long time to come.

    I know I'm doing it. I know when others are doing it. It makes this world just a little easier to bear, and that is ok with me.

    I do have a problem with school aides being paid to do art projects, and then pretend they are Maggie's. Rather than than why not come up with a project that fits the kids and their abilities. It would not be fake work it would be real work.

    At least I don't have the maternal guilt that makes me want to keep some of the art project.

    As for the fake work, I have to agree. But there must be some standards imposed that we can use as points to measure the kids and the people who work with them. That said, I don't let them do any standardized tests on Maggie at all. Not even standardized tests for special needs kids, if that makes sense. She ain't standard.

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  3. Thanks for inviting more dialogue Elizabeth! The comments I'm getting over on my blog are a reminder for me that we all have different ways of coping. For those who like the cheerful pretend: I'm not out to convert or convince anyone they're doing it wrong. Just offering my own opinions to those who might relate to my own dis-ease. Although I will say this: cheerful pretend might be a useful coping mechanism for the parent, but possibly (likely?) not contributing to the dignity or wholeness of the child. What does it imply, that a parent or caregiver must imagine the child is different in order to just get through a day...? How might it feel to be that child?

    Thanks again Elizabeth!

    Jennifer
    http://johannesen.ca/yesorno

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  4. Fake work and and cheerful pretending? Yup, a veteran of both. We had Adam evaluated by the university specialists, etc for eye gaze communication ... eyes to control a computer. The pros said that he was playing computer games, above 50% accuracy, he got it. I worked with him at home for weeks on what school and university said was working...fake, pretend and not cheerful. I knew that it was not real, but these people prey upon hope...like facilitated communication. Really a sore topic..

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  5. "Moms are Solutionary Revolutionaries"...how true. There were many parts of the piece that resonated with me, like: "Moms are the ones who can grow the souls of our children."

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