Monday, November 12, 2012

Secrets and endurance

Jacob, wrestling with the angel, while viewed by Breton maidens
Paul Gauguin 

Sometimes, after Sophie has a big seizure, and my back is aching from holding her and my lip is smarting from where her hand accidentally slapped it while jerking, I pray in a whisper to God. Please take these seizures from her. Make them stop. Give her -- and us -- peace. I don't feel better when I pray, though, because the thought crosses my mind that God might answer the prayer and take her from me. Perhaps that's why I endure.


  1. I swear Jesus Himself could not love Sophie more than you. I think God knows better than to mess with such a lion-hearted mother.

    Now if only our prayers for a cure could find some angel wings and start making a dent in the state of affairs regarding seizure disorders down here, i'll try really hard to stop shaking my fist at the sky.

  2. Well, I would pray the same. I would fear the same. I am not sure I could endure.

  3. What a heartbreaking post. Even at their worst, we want to hold onto our children. God will bless you for every backache and hurt lip you've had to endure.

  4. oh dear. i gasped at that. no.
    i dont know this gauguin--it's perfect..isnt it.

  5. I don't think the Universe (or God or the Divine, or whatever any of us wants to call it) is so cruel as to twist your prayer like a cranky genie in a bottle. I, too, will pray for you all to have peace.


  6. I do the same thing with Ryley. I will pray that the seizures stop for Sophie too.

  7. no, no, no! there must be peace, here, on this earth, now! i wish it were easier for you, and me, and all of us to reach it.

  8. sometimes i pray (and wonder) similar things...



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