Monday, July 29, 2013

Me and Russell Brand



So, remember my encounter with Russell Brand?

Go back and read about it, if you haven't yet. I should tell you that shortly after my brush with Russell Brand, he led a walkout of the class, including the teacher who had been there for at least twenty years. I had proudly stopped going to that class after being snubbed, and when I heard about the Great Walk-Out, I could have killed myself for having missed it. Evidently, Demi Moore was there that day and packed up her mat and sheepskin with the rest of them and walked out.

Anywho.

You know how much I love living in Los Angeles, and even though I live right in the middle of "it all," the whole celebrity thing is really not a part of my daily life. Until it is. The other day, I walked around the corner and toward CVS drugstore, but I decided at the last minute to check out the newest addition to the block, a fancy-schmancy juicery right next to a hot yoga studio (that I tried once and decided was too hot for the likes of juicy me). I'm not sure whether this juicing craze has hit your city or prairie town, yet, but if not, it's coming as sure as Starbucks did a decade back.

Now, I'm not a skinny, juicing kind of woman (in fact, when Oliver was quite young he told me that I was too juicy to be pretty!), and I sure as hell don't intend on replacing a meal (or two!) with a juice every day like a fancy decorator does who I think I told you about in another superficial post. But, good lord, those juiceries are popping up all over the place here in the sunshine, and I figured since it was in the neighborhood, I'd give it a try. I turned inside the tiny store and stood behind a tall, extremely sweaty (those hot yoga classes are hot) guy giving his order to the decidedly unjuicy young thing behind the register. Reader, you know where this is going, don't you?

The tall guy was Russell Brand who appears to be frequenting my neighborhood yoga studio and juicery because since the events of this story, I have seen him several times, walking down the street and into and out of the yoga studio and the juicery. Do you believe that I inwardly groaned and then was overcome with madness and actually tapped him on the shoulder and asked him what had happened to our beloved kundalini teacher and that 9:00 am class? The moment the words came out of my mouth, and Russell looked down his long nose at me, pausing for a moment mid-text, I died a thousand deaths. I won't tell you what he said because it's not interesting at all. He turned away from juicy me and took the juice handed to him by the unjuicy girl and walked out of the store. I ordered some juicy concoction of ginger, lime and spinach or kale, paid $1,000 and walked, juicy as ever, out.


19 comments:

  1. Good Lord. Personally, I think you're just juicy enough. And better to be juicy than dried up. I now have this nasty image of Russell Brand, wearing the ponytail and the yoga pants, all sweaty and stinky, that I can't get out of my brain. I need to go shower.

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  2. ok...I must be really out of it...i went back and read the post and I still don't know who he is. But after reading the comments at least I am not the only one so my ego is still halfway intact! Why did they do a walkout? including the teacher? they didn't like Demi?...I'm confused...

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    1. I wouldn't worry about it, aint for city gals -- it's a stupid Los Angeles/celebrity story that isn't worth telling except for how I've told it. You won't and haven't missed anything.

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  3. Wait, the yoga teacher walked out with him? Were they all protesting the same thing? I truly don't understand celebrities and I don't understand juicing, either. It hit Seattle about a year ago and I often wonder what those stores do with all the pulp they generate and whether they stage midnight raids on the fridge for real, solid food after depriving themselves during the daylight hours.

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  4. I loved reading this this morning. A fun, lighthearted read, was just what I needed.

    I am not at all starstruck living here and living with a man that works in the business. And the girls have done commercials and a few bit parts in movies when they were young. Most encounters, including being on set for a week with Jude Law, Brenda Belythn, Jennifer Tilly and the oh so rude Jeremy Pivens and John Tenny, left a bad taste in my mouth. But ... the two that left my mouth gapping wide open were: The door being held for me by Warren Beatty and Jodie Foster telling me my girls were beautiful. Those two will stick with me.

    And hot yoga. Never for me. Ill stick to regular. That stuff is hard core. And thats coming form me, a hard core kinda gal. I don't juice either. Jamba Juice, which would be considered toxic to those who actually juice, is about as juicy as I get!

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  5. I really am dying to know what he said.

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  6. Oh Elizabeth, this kills me. And I read the other post about him and his top knot and I couldn't stop laughing. You DO live in another world.

    Sorry I've been MIA--I realized I need posts emailed to me or I just can't keep up. Subscribing now.

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    1. Oh, Kate, it's wonderful to see you here! Thank you!

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  7. Love it. So funny. And yes, so LA. Many different worlds, and all in the same place.

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  8. I don't have a clue as to who Russell Brand is. I am hoping for a juice bar though. It only has to serve fresh carrot juice to please me.

    Best,
    Bonnie

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  9. I was just talking to my girls about your yoga class/Russell Brand encounters. This post is perfect in every way.

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  10. Russell Brand does not strike me as an individual who has a discerning palate. I doubt he could appreciate the beauty of a fine and juicy fruit if it dropped splat on his disheveled head.

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  11. Russell Brand entertains me on tv. But, I would not care to have him in my yoga class, I think. And as for the juice...I like juice, and will get one in addition to lunch. ;)

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  12. It's like another planet, isn't it sometimes? Thanks for giving us your view of it...You are decidedly juicy and lovely exactly as you are.

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  13. Maybe Russell recognized you as "that blogger who aimed her warrior pose at me" and that's what caused him to look down his nose at you and toss off an uninteresting phrase? :)

    There's a juice bar down the street from us, and I have never been. I did order a carrot juice at lunch the other day, and that was pretty fabulous, but overall I'm more of a water person.

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  14. wait, so what DID happen in yoga class??? why did they walk out? what did russell B tell you?
    this is all so glam for a jersey girl.

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  15. I'm so square I have no idea who RB is. I love the juicy adjective though. Funny how those expensive yoga pants say "juicy" on the decidedly unjuicy butts of those who wear them.

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  16. He's a piece of work, which is the kindest thing I can think of to say about him.

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