Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Fear, Carry and Conceal

Tucson, Arizona, 2011; photograph by Paolo Pellegrin
via The New York Review of Books


I have several friends, particularly in the medical marijuana community, who are ardent Christians and political conservatives or libertarians. Their beliefs in many regards are antithetical to my own, despite the fact that we share much in common, namely our children with seizure disorders. A couple of years ago, I had to disengage from one member of this community when he derided the anguished cries of the father of the UCSB shooter for stricter gun laws. This person then derided me, called me a coward and declared that it was people like himself that had to protect lazy people like me. It's too easy, I think, to call a person like this insane or stupid or even to feel scared as shit that they're carrying guns around.

Lately, I've noticed on Facebook that a number of these people -- my friends -- are posting quite exuberantly about gun shopping, about applying for gun licenses and carry and conceal permits. The comments that follow these status updates are enthusiastic, even down to the emoticons of guns and happy faces. Their reasoning is generally along the lines of protection, that carrying a gun will protect them and their family. The other day, I sat on my front lawn with Sophie and a guy who was going to do a little work on my house. He, too, is an ardent gun enthusiast and spoke openly about the need to protect oneself from bad people, to arm oneself and learn to shoot well, in the event of a home invasion or a threat to my children or myself.

I might just be a dumb-ass, but I am not afraid.

I really don't understand what everyone is so afraid of, why they think concealing a sophisticated piece of killing technology is nifty and what sort of statistics they've seen that I haven't regarding defensive gun use in the home or out at the movie theater or in a grocery store or child's school.

To be frank, the only caveat to my lack of fear is -- well -- you. You with your glib photos of guns, your cocky aims to protect yourself and your children from dark forces, your conceal and carry ardency, your deep cynicism and paradoxical blind faith in -- what? In what lies your faith? Please enlighten me.


I've been mulling these things the last few days, inarticulate and struggling to understand, repelled and repulsed and uncomfortable. I didn't want to resort to sarcasm, to scorn or contempt -- I like these people, feel bonded to them, even devoted. Yet, distance. My brain's wrappings -- they're undone. I don't understand. In one of those amazing instances of synchronicity, tonight I read the brilliant Marilynn Robinson's long essay on faith and guns and fear in The New York Review of Books.  I hope that it will provoke some response, that I will. I'm not afraid and have nothing to carry or conceal.




25 comments:

  1. About ten years ago, when multiple hurricanes swept up through Florida within a few weeks of each other and repeatedly left neighborhoods dark and debris-filled roads impassable, my brother -- who lives in Jacksonville -- saw several people prowling in his yard outside his darkened house. He was struck by the realization that he could do nothing if those people tried to come inside. The police couldn't get to him, and in any case they were overwhelmed already.

    His response was to go out later and buy a gun. Since then he's bought a few more guns. (Apparently guns are like tattoos -- once you get one, it's hard to resist getting more.)

    I, like you, don't understand all the fear-mongering out there and I've never felt the need to be armed myself. As you know, I am very anti-gun. But I always think of my otherwise-relatively-liberal brother when these discussions come up, and I can see how scary that situation would be -- and how his need for control led to his need for weaponry. I don't THINK I would respond the same way, but then, I've never been in a situation like that.

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    1. I certainly understand your brother's motivation to buy a gun, and I'm curious to know the statistics on how often that becomes necessary. I don't see them -- what I do see, at least statistically, is that accidental shootings are far more common than self-defense ones.

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    2. Yes, absolutely. I think having the gun did more to put his mind at ease than it did to improve, in a practical sense, the defense of his home and safety of his family.

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  2. I think the media itself has fed fears. The example Steve writes about- that is real. That kind of shit does indeed happen after a hurricane when normal resources have been taken away. We revert back to a more scary, less civilized time. It's just the truth. But I'm still not sure it's a gun that's called for.
    But, back to the media- because we know of every kidnapping in the country as if it had happened a block away, we are afraid to let our children out of our sight. Because of every shooting or horrible home invasion that is reported anywhere in the country, we feel as if we might be next on the list. The media feeds on fear and feeds our fears. And there are certain people who already perhaps feel powerless who feed on that. But like you- THESE are the people that scare me. All of these guns in the hands of people who might just mistake any action as a threat.
    And so forth.
    Do you think that genetically there are people who just feel so very, very threatened by the chaos and randomness of the universe and who thus turn to religion and patriotism and weapons?
    I have no idea. But I don't understand it either.
    Of course there is always the tiny penis theory.

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    1. Perhaps, Mary. Maybe some people are very much threatened by chaos and randomness and believe they will have control if they own a firearm should it visit them. I agree with you about the media and would add that the NRA uses the media quite effectively as well to promote their agenda which has less to do with fear and more with money.

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  3. What Mary said at the end, ha!

    It is the proliferation of guns in the hands of the fearful that gives me pause, too.

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  4. I don't know what I think. I carry a gun because I am a cop. It's a tool for me, like a carpenter's hammer. I need to know how to use it. I'm skilled at using it, and I teach others how to be skilled at it, too. I carry off duty, but infrequently. I keep a gun in the house and I can't imagine not keeping one. I'm sure I'll keep one in the camper when we go mobile soon. But I can't imagine I'll carry one around with me everywhere I go. Although that means that when I most need one, it will probably be in a gun safe and not in my hand, which makes it pretty useless.

    Most of the guys I work with carry all the time, and I'm glad they do, and I want them out there in the grocery store and at my kid's school and in the movie theater. I trust them.

    I'm less sanguine about the people who carry guns because 'Merica. Because Freedom. Because Guvmint. Because by God you won't take from me what's mine.

    Some of these people are responsible and kind and would only use their guns as a last resort and would be mindful of their target and what's around and behind and in front of their target, etc.

    Most, however, would probably not. And there are all kinds of bad things that could happen.


    But, still, I think it's probably not all that big of a deal. If you don't like guns, if they scare you and make you sick at heart, well, don't have one and don't worry too much about the people who do. You're way more likely to die in a car wreck or from cancer or from falling in the tub than you are to get shot- either by a genuine bad guy, or by a cop, or by a gun-toting citizen who cranks one off at you thinking you're a bear or a looter or a comminist.

    I think that the people who carry guns as a tool to stop something genuinely bad from happening are good to have around, and the once rare mass shootings and terrorist attacks are becoming commonplace- it's good to have the chance that someone in one of these encounters might be armed themselves and be able to stop the killing quickly.

    I think that the people who carry out of a fear of the world, the fear of the armed criminal element and bad things, who carry the gun as talisman and security blanket, are probably most dangerous to themselves and their families, but still will likely never cause any harm at all.

    Just as the gun lobby whips up fear of the other and fear of the dangers to justify an armed citizenry, and the soverign citizens whip up fear of the gun-grabbing government bent on enslaving us, the anti-gun lobby whips up fear of those who choose to keep guns in their homes and on their persons. Both sides can point to facts that support their views, and both sides can attack the facts the other side uses, and probably the truth is somewhere in between, or nowhere at all. I mean, if you keep a gun in your hose to shoot house thieves and looters and rapists, but your four year old finds the gun and shoots his three year old sister right between the eyes, then what good were the facts? And similarly, if you think guns are terrible and awful and stupid and mean and we should all only have flowers and unicorns and then someone comes into your child's school and lines everyone up and shoots them in the head one by one by one by one by one.

    Well.

    And both things happen.

    They aren't even odd anymore.


    So, you pays your money and you takes your chances. We're all for the bone yard anyways. Dance the dance you want and let those who want to dance to a different drummer do so, and godspeed to us all.

    I think it's better to worry about how to spread as much love as possible as far and as wide as possible. But that's just me.


    Thanks for posting this and giving us some room to chew on your question. I think it's a good thing to do, and I applaud your bravery and openness in doing so!


    big love,

    Scott

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    1. Thanks for your long and thoughtful response, Scott. You, too, have given us much to chew on, and while I understand your inclination to include all the many paradoxes and dualities inherent in -- well -- just being human and alive, I'm not sure that they also apply to using a gun to kill somebody. I imagine that as a cop you've found the place inside of yourself where killing is an option and often a necessity. I'm grateful for all those cops like yourself who are protecting citizens from the bad guys. Would it really be that easy or simple for a regular citizen who has purchased and learned to use a gun to do so if threatened? To actually point and shoot a gun at someone to kill them? It wouldn't be for me, and I guess I just object to the cavalier violence that we're all subject to in this country, the most violent in the "western" world. I think there's a space between lining up children and shooting them, one by one in the head, as you've laid out, and believing in unicorns. I think that space has completely deluded Americans.

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    2. That should read ELUDED, not DELUDED.

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  5. Thank you for this. I am as confused as you. I made a decision long, long ago to not make major decisions out of fear. And then, that felt so good, that I decided to root out the fear that lay like a subfloor in the foundation of my brain and demolish it so that my default position wasn't fear. Having done that, I feel like it's much easier to spot it coming my way and hold it off. I understand the tendency to want to protect, to prevent ourselves from being victimized, but when it comes right down to it, I can't ever imagine myself pointing a weapon at another human being and pulling the trigger. I can't imagine wanting to maim or kill another person, no matter what threat they pose to me. I can't foresee a situation where my decision to fight would be better than a decision to flee or attempt to reason with someone (there was a fabulous story in the news a week or so ago about a teacher who took two hours to talk to a student with a gun in her classroom and convinced him to relinquish the hostages and the gun). The bigger issue for me, though, is that I believe that when people are carrying weapons, the threshold for using violence is lowered to almost nil. If I have a gun in my waistband or purse or pocket and I find myself in a confrontation, what are the odds that I will choose diplomacy or conversation? How easy would it be for me to simply pull that weapon out either to frighten the other party/parties or to use it? And gun violence isn't something that is easy to come back from. If you get in a fistfight with someone or a screaming match, the odds of death or permanent disability are much, much less, as are the odds of collateral damage. I think that weapons, for the most part, are a crutch that we lean on too heavily that keep us from engaging on a human level with someone who we think may pose a threat.

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    1. Thank you for this thoughtful reply, kario. We're of the same mind, I see, but I appreciate you expanding the conversation to include alternative ways to deal with threat and conflict. I like, too, your opinion that weapons are a "crutch" that we might lean on too heavily.

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  6. I have never been to the US and although I have lived in several countries in Europe and Africa, some of which may be considered somewhat unsafe, none of them had that kind of gun "culture" (for lack of a better word) we hear and read about from your country.

    I am sure you know how incredulous this all appears to people across the pond (and we also have mass shootings, even in schools but not as many). When we had a nasty period of someone setting cars on fire in my suburb last summer, most people installed dummy/fake cameras to feel safe. Maybe because our gun laws are so complicated and you just can't go out a buy one. But generally, why threaten an arsonist or a looter with murder? Or risk becoming a killer?

    To be frank, it's a riddle to me, this need and justification for protection from evil dangers. So much fear.

    As for Steve's brother: I just asked around the dinner table (a bunch of teachers tonight) what would they do in a similar setting and they all said: Go out and get a dog or maybe two.

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    1. As a dog owner, Sabine, I agree a dog is a great solution! Ironically my brother DID own a dog at the time -- but his dog was notoriously timid and unlikely to pose any threat to an intruder. :)

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  7. A few years back when I was researching guns for Angel Food I came across a message board for gun owners. I read a post by a man describing an incident during which he was carrying a concealed weapon at his church and a homeless man had walked in. The gun-carrying man writing the post described how, in his opinion, this homeless man had seemed suspicious and sketchy and in the end the poster had very nearly drawn his gun on him. Reading the post, it was clear that just being in possession of a gun had put this man in a frame of mind in which he was not just ready for trouble, but looking for it. He was looking at every person he didn't know as a possible threat, a reason to draw his weapon. Or maybe he felt everyone was a threat all the time, and having the gun just heightened that sense. I realized that there are people out there who are carrying weapons and who are eager for a chance to use them. It was a terrifying realization. It seems obvious to me that some conflicts between strangers that might otherwise be resolved peacefully are going to end in gun violence simply because one of the parties happens to be carrying. On the other side, we have good friends here, socially liberal as they come, who own several guns that they unload and pack away in closets when they are not being brought out to shoot at targets and handled carefully, respectfully, and responsibly. Obviously all gun-owners aren't chomping at the bit for a chance to use them on a person. Shouldn't these people want better restrictions on guns as well? Gun ownership is like abortion in this country--we can't seem to have a rational discussion about it.

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  8. The stats I have seen are clear that most guns owned by general population end up being fired at self (owner), family, friends, neighbors, community. Yes, occasionally some one does get a bad guy, and it's heralded up and down as to how great it was that the gun was there. Not so much celebrating when the owners kid shoots someone or some other such mishap that happens more often.

    So why do they want guns? They want guns because they are for whatever reason more fixated on the smaller odds of harm coming their way and having that gun in hand and ready at that golden moment would make the difference. Yes, it does happen. The odds are smaller, but it does happen and they may know someone to whom it happened, they may have personally found themselves in that situation or the scenario takes their attention more. I can liken this to those who are anit vaxers who have found themselves in the smaller percentage of those hurt by vaccines and therefore swearing off of them. In all fairness, there are those who are at higher risk for the lower probabilities because of circumstances. For those who live in an environment where break ins, trouble are frequent, owning a gun may well improve ones odds. For those not in that special category, it's because the stories of the benefits carry more weight than the drawbacks. But there are some out there that have gotten hit or a loved one gotten hit in a situation where a gun in hand would have made a difference, and it's difficult to argue with them not to pack.

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  9. I liked everything Scott had to say; conversely, though at times I've been very interested in her work and Calvinist perspectives, to me Marilynne Robinson's essay felt circular and restrictive (which essays have a right to be, of course) at least as it applies to thinking about gun ownership, fear or violence in America.

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  10. I bought a shot gun about 8 years. It's never been assembled and has a lock on it. (I lost the key, oh well). In all likelihood, it will remain in it's present, unassembled state for the rest of my life. I have mixed feelings about having a gun in my house, and if I had to do it again, I probably wouldn't. But I have a really bad case of "Worst Case Scenario" playing in my head. In a black swan event (big earthquake) I don't expect my neighbors to gather round and sing around the campfire. My son was mugged/pistol whipped a while back.

    Jen in San Jose

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    1. Your gun is not any protection the way it is right now if the black swan event occurs. More likely, it gets stolen and ends up in the hands of someone who may assemble, get it unlocked and uses it the wrong way, as anyone who is going to break into a house and steal a gun is not likely to have a good motive for having that gun.

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    2. I'd have enough time to assemble it in case of social unrest. My house has a really loud alarm. Also it is stored in my completely unorganized attic. Sherlock Holmes wouldn't find it.

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  11. If we all need to buy and carry guns to protect ourselves, something is wrong with our society. I don't want to live in a world where you have to own/carry guns to be safe. I want to live in a world that doesn't need or have guns.

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    1. So do most of us. I know people who live in areas where house break ins are common. Statistically, it will happen to them. They cannot afford to move, as they can barely afford to stay there even. So, they do keep a gun handy in case someone breaks into their homes. It may have already happened to them.

      I also knew families who lived off the deer and other game that the family hunter brought home during hunting season. Again, they lived hand to mouth. Hunting was a long time tradition in that area and with some families. They had the equipment, the know how and the deer were horrible garden raider, another source of food for the families.

      So there are valid reasons. Though the exceptions probably are what cause more risks of gun incidents for the rest of us. Where the issue really is, IMO, lies with those who have no such reasons, but want the guns for their own self esteem reasons.

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  12. When I was growing up, I lived in a gun house. My father owned several shotguns and a few handguns. He (and eventually my brothers) shot (and killed) wild things which we then ate-deer, ducks, squirrels, rabbits, geese, etc. My brothers also learned to clean guns, make cartridges, and lock guns up unloaded in the gun cabinet. I never saw anyone point a gun at a person. I never knew where the key to the gun cabinet was.

    My father was a staunch member of the NRA. For him, owning a gun meant survival, meant putting food on the table.

    Did I have issues with gun ownership? Not as a child.

    Today I wouldn't own a gun, carry a gun or learn to shoot a gun. Maybe I have unicorns in my brain. I just know there are countries and cultures that live without guns as an infernal subtext to clashes, however small. And I won't participate.

    XXX Beth

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  13. When I was growing up, I lived in a gun house. My father owned several shotguns and a few handguns. He (and eventually my brothers) shot (and killed) wild things which we then ate-deer, ducks, squirrels, rabbits, geese, etc. My brothers also learned to clean guns, make cartridges, and lock guns up unloaded in the gun cabinet. I never saw anyone point a gun at a person. I never knew where the key to the gun cabinet was.

    My father was a staunch member of the NRA. For him, owning a gun meant survival, meant putting food on the table.

    Did I have issues with gun ownership? Not as a child.

    Today I wouldn't own a gun, carry a gun or learn to shoot a gun. Maybe I have unicorns in my brain. I just know there are countries and cultures that live without guns as an infernal subtext to clashes, however small. And I won't participate.

    XXX Beth

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  14. I appreciate the tone of this discussion.

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  15. Let's get some real statistics by allowing the CDC to study the effects of and underlying causes of gun violence. It is, after all, is a public health issue. The CDC has been prohibited from studying gun violence since the 1990s. And in July 2015, Congress extended the ban.

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