Wednesday, September 23, 2015

The Personification of Skin

My mother and father with me at UNC Parents' Weekend
September 23, 1982
33 YEARS AGO!!!!


I have always had "good skin," which I'll attribute to genes, lots of Mediterranean genes. Thank you, Syrian and Italian ancestors, thank you.* Nevertheless, I have been approached to "do a story" on dermatology. 

This morning's Marketing Email of the Day:

Elizabeth,
Blackheads are a common complaint that will drive them to visit their dermatologist. Most people complaining about blackheads do not truly have blackheads.  What makes a blackhead a true blackhead? Could it be oversized pores?  How do you treat blackheads?   Dr. Janet Prystowsky, board certified Dermatologist in New York City, with over 25 years-experience, is available to speak to blackheads, what a blackhead truly is and how to treat them.
Please let me know when you would like to speak with her.


Apparently, blackheads can be personified.










*If we're going to use the literary device of personification, here would be mine:

Elizabeth,Long black hairs sprouting from moles and freckles overnight are a common complaint of the Mediterranean skin that will drive them to visit the cup in your bathroom that houses the tweezers. Most people complaining about long, black hairs do not truly have long, black hairs. What makes a long, black hair a true long, black hair? Could it be an evolutionary mutation? Dr. Glenda Oblonsky, board-certified Dermatologist in Beverly Hills, with over 345 years experience, is available to speak to long, black hairs, what a long black hair truly is and how to treat them.
Please let me know when you would like to speak with her about yours. We won't tell them that you are seeking eradication and a higher position on the evolutionary ladder.

11 comments:

  1. One only needs tweezers and a good mirror for long black hairs....and the vigilance to remember they are there before venturing out into the world , well, bearded. I hate that when someone is looking at you slightly weird in the middle of a conversation and you suddenly realize that they are actually looking at that little crop of hairs on your chin.

    Blackheads are different. You need a high powered vacuum for them - I've not found one yet. Perhaps I should speak with Dr. Oblonsky....
    However, rest assured, your good-gened olive complexion is so beautifully distracting that no one probably ever see's any long black hairs or anything else.
    You must have the most incredibly interesting inbox...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha! This is so funny. And you just reminded me to pack some tweezers. My husband and I are going away for a week and they are like and American Express card. Don't leave home without it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You want to know what happened? It is a travesty. I am now in a different province and I forgot my tweezers after all! And I have a sticky out whisker on my chin!! Should I ask my husband for his razor? I am going to be picking at it all night long now.

      Delete
  3. My mom used to tell me that she could recognize relatives on the street (even if she didn't actually know them) from their unruly unibrows. You are beautiful. But perhaps we could make some kind of hospital bed hair plucking pact? You know, in case we're comatose and unruly things are sprouting?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Denise, whether you know me or not, I need in on this pact please!!!

      Delete
  4. I bet Dr Glenda, with her 345 years of experience in Beverley Hills, looks like she's 29...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I would like someone to speak to my saggy boobs and tell them to get back where they belong.

    ReplyDelete
  6. How beautiful you are. Just stunning.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...