Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Greetings from the Christmas Tchotchke Shop (with trigger warnings, see below!)*





First of all, let me clear things up regarding my post from yesterday. I failed miserably at conveying what I meant, and that was made clear by many of your thoughtful comments. I was struck by the T.C. Boyle quote that I used to open the post because it spoke to me about paradox, about holding opposing thoughts at the same time. I've written about that ad nauseum on this blog and elsewhere. Yesterday morning, as Henry struggled to get Sophie's wheelchair folded up and into my sexy, white Mazda, I remarked how strong he is and how lifting that thing would surely help to further build his muscles. I said it in the lame way that mothers do when they know what they're saying is cheerful bullshit. At least to me it's bullshit, because, frankly, having to lift a wheelchair into the back of the car for your handicapped sister and weaker mother is a pain in the ass. I have long mulled over the spin that we use to justify our situations or make them more tolerable or better. As a writer, I'm prone to flights of fancy and imagination. Sometimes it feels like I'm making the whole world up as I go. The things people say about Sophie or my boys, the things I say or think about Sophie or my boys or our situation -- I didn't mean to judge them.  It is what it is, as the moral relativists like to say. So, don't feel guilty if you've had those thoughts or said those things. Don't we all make stuff up to make ourselves feel better or to cope? And there is truth to all of them, anyway. Good truth and uncomfortable truth.






Now let's move on for a visit to the Tchotchke Shop. Despite my intentions to not bring down all the Christmas crap from the attic, I was over-ruled by the The Brothers who were aghast that I would even think about holding out on the annual extravaganza. Of course when it came time to actually decorate, I was the one doing it all.











I tried to remain Christmas Stepford Momish last night when it was looking like no one was going to help me put the lights and ornaments on the tree, but eventually I had to raise my voice to a moderate Christmasy decibel and insist that you need to get off those dang devices and get in here and decorate the tree! Then I forced Oliver to choose between decorating and sitting on the couch with Sophie. He chose Sophie until her head bangs forced him to do the job with Henry, and I sat on the couch with Sophie while simultaneously and sweetly ordering the both of them around.





We watched about five minutes of White Christmas until The Brothers' constant mocking (oh my god! Look at how fake it is! This is so stupid! WHAT IS THIS?) destroyed the shreds of Christmas cheer I was so valiantly trying to maintain. I gave the boys and Sophie their annual new ornament and gazed, again, at the one I bought myself.


Have you seen anything more fabulous than that today? I might have to craft a new blog header, right? How about this?


That brings me to the trigger warnings for this post:

  * Lots of scary tchotchkes that might bother those of you who get agita at Christmas
** Lots of wonderful tchotchkes that might possibly throw your panties into a wad if you believe in the war on Christmas. Happy Holidays to you!

13 comments:

  1. Have I seen anything more fabulous today? I think that would be in the Top Ten for the entire year. WTF is that? Where did you get it? Is there more? Because I want one.

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  2. Well, Frida had a lot of tchotchkes! I say bring it on. I can totally relate to two boys not being into the actual decorating or the "sweet" Christmas movies.

    Best,
    Bonnie

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  4. Well, if that Frida ornament was mine, she'd be right there all year round. Believe it or not, I have Christmas ornaments I love hung up in the kitchen and there they stay. As for doing any decorating this year?
    Nope. Haven't done a thing.
    My kids laugh about it. They don't care anymore. I did it when they were young and it meant something to them and now they can do it for themselves.
    You are such a good mother.

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  5. I have not seen anything more fabulous today. A Frida ornament. If you share her on FB I know a number of Frida fans who will adore her. I don't feel quite so out-to-lunch if other readers reacted as I did to your post. One is always capable of getting the wrong end of the stick. xo

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  6. I put my Christmas wreath on my front door after reading this post. It has a martini glass on it.
    I love Frieda.

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  7. I love your current heading and your new possible heading and all your new baubles. And sometimes I stare at disabled people and I feel horrible at how bad it makes them feel. I am curious and interested and want to say hi and I'm learning families of disabled people hate it and I am put to shame. I learn.

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  8. Love the ornament! Especially the Frida unibrow. Awesome. And I'm laughing at the kids' reaction to "White Christmas." Of course it IS fake and cheesy, but at some point you learn to appreciate that for what it is. It is what it is, as the moral relativists say. :)

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  9. Frida just de-cheesed all holiday ornaments for all time. Esp with pairing with the Buddha, inspired!!!

    XXX Beth

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  10. Frida just de-cheesed all holiday ornaments for all time. Esp with pairing with the Buddha, inspired!!!

    XXX Beth

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  11. I LOVE all your Christmas tchotchkes. Especially Frida, of course. I love Christmas in California and am sad we won't be there this year. My girls pick out their annual Xmas ornaments--so I have 8-year-old Ayla to thank for Justin Bieber staring at me from my tree.

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  12. did i tell you that i LOVE your current header? i don't decorate anymore for the holiday that we don't really celebrate. guess why. you are so right. xoxo

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  13. I've avoided a lot of the christmassy stuff I usually partake in, but that's my issue this year. I'm enjoying seeing every one else's. Your ornament is fabulous!

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