Friday, February 19, 2016

How to Drive Your Teenaged Boy Crazy, Part 4,567,832*



My little sister showed me this fun emoji app that I've been using fairly indiscriminately of late. You basically create your own little avatar person that somewhat resembles you, and then you can use her in any number of situations to express yourself. Those of you who are hipsters will know what I'm talking about and think I'm the biggest dork, and those of you who are still caught somewhere in the last century or even millennium will humor me and even share in my joy. The thing is that apparently it's unseemly for a person like myself to use this app or any emojis at all. I was apprised of this by my youngest son, Oliver, who is beginning to look like a young man and who is evidently the arbiter of all things cool and uncool. He takes particular offense to my constant stream of emojis.



What he doesn't yet realize is the more he protests, the greater my glee in using them.





One of the greatest things about parenting teenagers, and especially boys, is the almost script-like intensity of the disdain to which you are subject. Occasionally, this can cause a flicker of pain when you remember that you have literally given them everything and love them to the point of distraction, but mostly it's amusing. I myself find it highly entertaining to make them writhe in discomfort and embarrassment by acting as ridiculous as possible which can be as simple as using too many emojis to communicate. Other methods include purposely saying the wrong number for that Jackie Robinson movie -- I began deliberately calling it 41 instead of 42 (or was it the other way around?) just to get the predictable MOM! What is your problem? 

I am, to them, hopelessly old and utterly uncool and must be constantly schooled and reminded of that.

Seriously, though -- what's up with texting your mother when you're both in the same house, and the house is literally the size of Bilbo Baggins' abode? I think you deserve to be mortified in return.









* This post was approved by all parties involved. I don't want ya'll think I'm INVADING MY CHILDREN'S PRIVACY.


29 comments:

  1. What is that app?!!! Please tell!!! And I do know about mothering a teenaged boy. Amusement and subversive emoji use is definitely the way to go! Lolol

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  2. LOL -- the thing is, you are QUITE a hip mom. I can't imagine my own parents engaging in such banter back in the day (even without emojis, which, as far as I know, hadn't been invented yet).

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    1. No matter what, parents are never, ever cool.

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  3. I didn't even TALK to my mother if I could get away with it.
    I read some of this to Lily today and she laughed. We had just been talking about how it seems impossible when you're holding your beautiful, pure little infant that he or she will ever even talk back to you- why would they? We love them so much! This will never happen. And then...

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  4. I parent the same way. It's a lot of fun.

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    Replies
    1. Yes. It does make the tedium of it go away!

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  5. This pretty much sums up the way I deal with both Jonah and Dashiell. I keep telling them I'm the 'cool' mom but I suspect I'm more likely the crazy mom.

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  6. Giggles in the hospital. Thank you๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ You're waaaaay cool Elizabeth๐Ÿ˜Ž

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    Replies
    1. Oh, dear lord, Mary Lou. I wish I could keep you laughing constantly. Keep on keeping on!

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  7. This is precisely what teenagers are good for -- to embarrass the hell out of them. Good job, E. Carry on.

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  8. The avatar riding the happy birthday rainbow unicorn is what will push them over the edge. I know of what I speak.

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  9. I love these personalized emojis. They are quite fun. I can't believe Oliver thinks it's nerdy already... You are cool, they just won't admit it.

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    Replies
    1. I think we're delusional if we think they think we're cool!

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  10. I need this app now. Oliver is growing/changing so much!
    XXOO

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    Replies
    1. Yes, he is. You could probably use it now and make those grandboys of yours so happy. It'll be too late if you wait long!

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  11. That was fun. My daughter informed in passing today that the caption for the photo I was about to upload on Instagram today was too long. :-)

    Greetings from London.

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    1. What would we do without these children guiding us?

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  12. Is there an emoji that's flipping the bird all the time? That'd probably be mine. Oops.

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  13. Hats off to you for doing emojis. I'm also struggling to keep up with my cool kids - and they're adults now. But I haven't been able to enter emoji-dom, even without an avatar - I'm clearly stuck in the last century.
    P.S. I noticed that the woman in the photo sitting behind Oliver has apparently had chemo - bald, with a hat and a face mask. It puts everything into stark perspective doesn't it?

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  14. love this. this is what that sunrise today brought: fun and laughter.
    but now you have to tell us the name of that emojis app.

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  15. Downloading the app right now. Seriously, I think the day you wrote this was the same day I wrote nearly an entire post about parenting and emojis. We are definitely on the same wavelength. Thank you, thank you. My children are about to get some shock and awe. They also text me from their bedrooms all the time. Things like, "what time is dinner?" or "what's for dinner?" or "could you throw my laundry in the dryer?" and other mundane things.

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