Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Dazed and Enraged



A friend forwarded an article from the Wall Street Journal today about the Israeli chemist, Dr. Mechoulam, who is considered the pioneer researcher in the field of cannabis medicine. I scanned the article because I know all about him and his work, but just before I was going to click off of it, I read this:

And we found that those 7 or 8 patients that were getting the [cannabidiol], 4 out of them had no epileptic attacks for three or four months and three others had much less and only one was not affected at all. By contrast those that did not get cannabidiol continued their attacks. We published that and I thought something would happen. But nothing happened for 30 years, and I was kind of disappointed… [There is now an ongoing] major clinical study with cannabidiol in epilepsy. It’s a shame really that one had to wait for 30 years when these facts were in the literature.
The operative words here are, obviously:

It's a shame really that one had to wait for 30 years when these facts were in the literature.


I'm not going to mince my words. If I had a dollar for every time I've either read or heard from the lips of countless doctors and researchers and politicians and all manner of human beings that constitute The Powers That Be the words WE NEED MORE RESEARCH  -- well, I'd be a millionaire.

We need more research is smoke and mirrors with money behind it.

When Sophie's seizures improved dramatically after giving her cannabis, there was a tiny part of me that wanted to kill myself for the regret. I'm a person who practices mindfulness, who believes for the most part that things happen in the right time, and I was able to allow that tiny thought to sit there but not overcome my larger joy. Since that time I've spoken at numerous events and told my story here, to consortiums of epilepsy professionals, to neurologists and Epilepsy Foundation board members. I've shared the stories of others in the epilepsy/cannabis world through my work and on this blog. I've been applauded and thanked, but my tiny little mother mind™ has also been openly mocked and dismissed.

We need more research is smoke and mirrors with money behind it.

I am upset and angry that I might have had this treatment for Sophie when her brain was more salvageable, when her life, my own life and that of her father and brothers had not been so irrevocably changed by the experiencing and witnessing of tens of thousands of seizures every single day for nineteen years.

Yeah, I know there are some of you out there who visit this blog and bemoan my anger, and I should probably not document any of it in real time, but sometimes it's the first step toward peace.

Regret, Anger, Peace.

Peace.


23 comments:

  1. Of course you are angry. Deservedly so. The corruption in the Health Industrial Complex makes me furious and I don't have to do battle with it every day like you do. Thanks for being a Warrior Woman. x0x0 N2

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  2. I recently heard someone remark that, when it comes to medicine, "the money is in the battle not the cure". Perhaps they were correct.

    Best,
    Bonnie

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  3. To every thing there is a season. And honey- if this isn't the season for you to be angry, I don't know when it would be.

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  4. Elizabeth, how can one not weep at this? You channel your regret and anger into so much love, knowledge, (that you willingly share) and action. I say bless every tear and every curse. Sending love to you, Sophie, and the rest of your family.

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  5. jesus fucking christ-- I'm angry as hell reading this. So much love your way.

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  6. I think that when they say, "we need more research" what they really mean is "we can't do research on something unless we get to pick who does it, how they do it, how much they get paid, and determine that we are doing research on something that will be patentable and make shitloads of money for the folks who paid for the research." Not exactly a soundbite but it feels more accurate to me. I'm pretty sure there are some major pharmaceutical companies doing research right now - not only on CBD but on ways to patent something that grows in the natural world and keep other people from making it more cheaply.

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  7. You keep saying what you're saying and thinking what you're thinking and doing what you're doing! Screw all those haters!

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  8. I am upset and angry that I might have had this treatment for Sophie when her brain was more salvageable, when her life, my own life and that of her father and brothers had not been so irrevocably changed by the experiencing and witnessing of tens of thousands of seizures every single day for nineteen years.

    This, more than anything, is what breaks my heart, so I can only imagine what it does to yours. Anger, god yes. I believe in your anger. It is a healing rage, for you, for all those you are helping every day by getting the word out there. Tell your story. And share your rage and heartbreak. How could you not? And thank you.

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  9. I'm pretty sure that's a reference to the study in 1972. I leak a tear every time I see those results. And then of course there is my favorite bone chilling, rage filling quote from the editor in chief at the lancet who says that a good 50% of research isn't even true anyway. So we are waiting for what? I say FUCK OFF to all of them. Life isn't lived in a medical journal. I have eyes that can see and I trust the wisdom of the ancestors. Who have told us for centuries CANNABIS WONT KILL YOU.

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  10. Every word makes a ring that expands outward and sets something else in motion. Do Not Stop Before The Miracle Happens.

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  11. I don't understand why people read this blog if they don't like what you have to say. There are millions of other things to read on the internet and they can look elsewhere. You have a story to tell; you have passion, talent and a message. Please don't stop.

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  12. Dang, I wish I could read the whole article but I just can't afford one more bill.
    "I was kind of disappointed" ? I'm sure he's a wonderful man to have done what he did 30 years ago, but I wish he had pushed harder.

    Regret? I'm so sad that you have to have that feeling but it is inevitable under your circumstances.
    Anger? You're a saint that you keep it to the level you do. If I were you I would have so much anger I would, unfortunately, be paralyzed.
    Peace? I hope, I hope very much that you feel some peace.
    Love, Liv

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  13. Angry is your right. And your call to arms. Bless you for the awareness you build, the light you shine, and the hope you offer so many.

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  14. How could you NOT be angry? I think it's perfectly understandable! The "War on Drugs" continues to do damage decades after it began...

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  15. I hear you and feel it too. All of it!

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  16. No apologies, your post is perfect-regret, anger, and peace included.

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  17. Dear Elizabeth-Full, full of heart you are. The full catastrophe is our lot, isn't it. Dear woman, carry on, with your bravery and anger and regret and love, great love for us all.

    ~Beth

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  18. I think it's important for you to keep speaking your truth. Thank you for it.

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  19. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to read you. I am keeping you when I can, and I find you so passionate. xoxoxo

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