Really, I'm overwhelmed by cliche of late, including the cliche that is myself, depressed and driving around and knowing that I'll feel better and that Sophie is having so many seizures and really, how many seizures can one have and we are so inured to them, in a sense, wouldn't dream of going to the hospital but watch them and watch them and talk on the phone while watching them and tonight, it's circling again, that helicopter, the LAPD helicopter that circles it seems our backyard looking for what, looking for whom, the sound a dull hum then roar as it nears the backyard, the circle of light the windows rattle then it goes by and there's only the wind with the whir in the back and then there it is again, the dull hum then roar the circle of light and then silence and then the wind the santa ana that makes some people mad with grief with worry with cliche, The Swiss Husband calls it the foehn, said to cause psychosis, madness and migraine.
I seriously have never read any stream-of-consciousness writing as enveloping, as flawless, as yours.
ReplyDeleteOh southern friend,what can I say?Perhaps nothing,just will send you peace instead.
ReplyDeleteLoved your piece at Smartly by the way.
All those little stresses certainly do add up. Sending you a virtual hug.
ReplyDeleteI drank 3 glasses of red wine tonight instead of my two. I had 3 slices of pumpkin pie instead of a sliver and I went across the latitude of veggie to pepperoni on the family pizza. I'm having an night of doing what I want and I hate that for you, those choppers in the sky. I remember waking up with night terrors and looking out my window at the lights shining in the back yard.There were times in my sleep I thought "this is it! WAR. They're coming over the hills and Paris Hilton knows where I live! Hide the Yorkie!" Anyway, it is 31 degrees, our wood burning stove is keeping us warm and I'm sending warm thoughts and pumpkin pie dreams your way!
ReplyDelete"how many seizures can one have and we are so inured to them" This is what I find so "beyond" everything understood as "the norm" with our children and our lives, be it seizures or some other pattern...just how much we become "used" to it, yet not used to it...unlike you, I am at a loss for the right words.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing what we can get used to.
ReplyDeleteSending a hug.
These are not little stresses. They are huge.
ReplyDeleteHang in, baby. Loving you...M
I was simply awestruck after reading this, you.
ReplyDelete( esp in light of my emailed nonsense..:) )
I hated the sound of searching helicopters when I lived down there. It somehow goes with fear ... Of gangs and "illegals" and criminals and WHATEVER .. .... And it's like Vietnam helicopters .... And PTSD .... Oh Elizabeth ......
ReplyDeletesigh... for all of it... for your beautiful writing born from your pain. A friend of mine once sent me the following quote from Kierkegaard, and though I don't see you as an "unhappy being," (or myself for that matter) I think you may relate... at any rate, your words here sound like beautiful music, but I won't ask you to sing them for me soon again.
ReplyDelete"A poet is an unhappy being whose heart is torn by secret sufferings, but whose lips are so strangely formed that when the sighs and the cries escape them, they sound like beautiful music... and then people crowd about the poet and say to him: 'Sing for us soon again;' that is as much as to say, 'May new sufferings torment your soul.' " ~Soren Kierkegaard
Hugs xo
ReplyDeletei love you madly...
ReplyDeletewell done Elizabeth. If people knew what goes on every minute of every day they would freak.
ReplyDeleteIf only we had the luxury of the wind driving us crazy.
Here's hoping that today you find a way to get caught in the cliche of sunlight warming your face and an especially decadent treat tantalizing your tastebuds and the sweet, sweet embrace of a warm child.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you Elizabeth and to Sophie. How much can one take? For you that can not have an answer...you just will always be there for her, to let her know in whatever way you can while she has a seizure, that you are protecting and caring for her the best you can.
ReplyDeleteI detest when helicopters are circling here.. I know it is bad news.
That was lovely. Not the subject -- the writing. ;-)
ReplyDelete