Friday, November 15, 2013

Orange, Tan, Boner-Man - A Rant Against the Machine


I'm proud of my little nasty, snarky epithet for Speaker of the House, John Boehner who yesterday actually uttered these words:


The United States of America has the best healthcare delivery system in the world.


This comment alone makes me want to start digging a grave -- not for The Tan Man --but for myself and the millions of other people in this godforsaken rich as shit country who have been struggling with the best healthcare delivery system in the world ever since Sophie was diagnosed with a devastating seizure disorder nearly nineteen years ago. As a member of an HMO at the time, I had to get approval before seeing a specialist, and then when I got approval, we were told that the wait to see the neurologist was four months. In New York City, home to two, if not three, of the world's "greatest epilepsy centers," I would have had to wait four f**king months for a neurologist to see my baby.

Do you know what happened?

A woman I grew up with in Atlanta, married to a New York City billionaire, took offense to that wait and called her husband's room mate from college who happened to be a pediatric neurologist who then called me and instructed me to go to the emergency room of New York Hospital where I was met by an official and ushered through triage and the emergency room. Less than four hours later, Sophie was diagnosed with infantile spasms, a type epilepsy that if not treated as soon as possible, can cause regression and all manner of horrible things. So, let me emphasize that our journey through "the best healthcare delivery system in the world" was initiated by a billionaire because it takes a billionaire to make things happen. Despite that white-gloved early diagnosis, the carpet that unfolded in front of us for the next two decades was so beset with aggravation, wheeling and dealing and stupidity that I'm a changed person because of it, and not in a good way. Multiply our experience with the best healthcare delivery system in the world a thousand-fold plus -- because this isn't just about Sophie or our family. It's still going on and only barely improved by some of the new laws of the Affordable Care Act which, it seems, might just implode any moment.

Long live the plutocracy and f**k The Tan Man and all the people who believe him.

I feel better having said it and thank the universe for blogging. You should try it if you want to jump from a roof or hang yourself, because if you're like me, it'll save your life. You'll just give it all up, take up smoking cigars and let it all just go to hell.

8 comments:

  1. And blogging can save your life if you're lonely, too. I swear.
    Boehner (and in my mind, it's always pronounced "Boner") can go fuck himself. There. I said it. What an asswad.
    Yeah, I'm in a mood.
    Best healthcare delivery system in the world. Sure. If you're a billionaire.
    Love you, Elizabeth. Don't jump from the roof OR hang yourself. You might want to smoke a cigar however. And I definitely recommend you take a swig off that bottle of vodka in the freezer.
    Love...M. Moon, RN, BSN

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  2. That's why I don't knock billionaires!! They make things happen and if we are on the receiving end we humbly accept...

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  3. The whole thing makes me so mad. And has it occurred to anyone that the right wing haters may be the ones jamming the website? I think I need a swig of tha vodka too.

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  4. I'm with Ms. Moon- always a long 'O' sound when that name's concerned. And the system is such a racket i'd give it a belly laugh and a slow clap if it weren't so horrifyingly, painfully sad. It's shameful. It takes a special kind of ass to contend this bloody, (mostly) heartless monster is the best.

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    1. I am so excited to see your name in the comments, again, Miss Ajax! Will you be updating your own blog?

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  5. He simply failed to complete his sentence: "...the best healthcare delivery system in the world IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT AND NAVIGATE THE PAPERWORK AND HAVE CONTACTS WHO CAN CUT THE RED TAPE." It's remarkable that he fails to see any injustice in the system as it exists now.

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  6. My best instinct is to be a hermit, and live away from it all. But when I think of your path with Sophie, I know of course that isn't possible. It's funny because last night I spoke with a Canadian who raged about how awful their health care system was precisely for the reasons you've listed above--wait lists for specialists. But then, it isn't funny at all. OH DAMMIT. It just infuriates. I'm glad you got it out.

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  7. I adore you and this simultaneously cracked me up & made me weepy.
    Also, what Steve said.

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