Saturday Three-Line Movie Review

While We're Young

I am definitely a decade too old to truly appreciate this funny, light-hearted and sometimes ridiculous movie, but there were moments when I thought the director Noah Baumbach skated right toward brilliance and then backed off and kept with the smart, slick and predictable observations of a media-saturated, self-involved, privileged urban lifestyle. The movie grapples with some big cultural ideas, and despite my own aversion to both Ben Stiller (way too self-conscious bordering on obnoxious) and Adam Driver (unfair, admittedly, due to my dislike of that other show), their acting was so good and the story line so convincing that I found myself actually pulling for Ben Stiller's character for maybe the first time in --- forever. Other than that, the thought crossed my mind that Noah Baumbach might be too close to the culture he observes to really make an incisive statement about it, hence the skating analogy, but then I thought Fellini sure could do it and did it in La Dolce Vita, so -- well -- I'm old and glad to be just an observer rather than a participant.









More 3-Line Movie Reviews

Ida
Force Majeur 
Gone Girl
Saint Vincent
Get on Up
Begin Again
Chef
The Immigrant
Cesar Chavez
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Gloria
Labor Day 
Philomena

August: Osage County

Her

American Hustle

Obvious Things About Caregiving, Insanity and Cognitive Decline

Me, in my declining memory years

There's a story making its rounds today titled Disability Caregiving May Lead to Memory Decline in Moms.

Sigh. Go on and read it, especially the parts where they talk about dads, except that for them they use the word fathers.***

Feminist language sigh.

It reminds me of another story -- years ago -- that demonstrated that providing care to a family member with a chronic illness or disability is not associated with increased risk of death in most cases, but may instead be associated with modest survival benefits for the caregivers. That one was titled Caregivers Live Longer, Study Says, and it was in the American Journal of Epidemiology. I wrote about it here.

Both articles were in a pretty decent disability aggregator website called Disability Scoop whose digest I receive once or twice a week in my inbox. 

Can I be honest? 

Studies annoy me and seem, sometimes, like a giant waste of time and money. Take a good look at me and any number of my comrades in arms (except perhaps for the everything is a blessing and everything has a meaning and is part of God's plan people), and it's pretty clear that we have a hard road to hoe. Do we really need to be studied before getting some help from the Powers That Be? I read about memory decline in "moms" who do the majority of caregiving and think, no shit, Sherlock.  And given that my comrades-in-arms are also some of the strongest, most kick-ass REAL tiger women on the planet, I think no shit, Sherlock, when I hear that we live longer than "normal" folk.

As far as the new study goes, maybe losing your memory in a long, long life ain't such a bad deal, anyway.

Right, Moms?




***Before you get your boxers or tightie whities in a wad, I know there are plenty of dads -- or fathers -- out there doing the primary caregiving of their disabled children. This post doesn't include or exclude you.

Advocacy for The Werc Shop (with correction**)

Jeffrey Raber, PhD, founder of The Werc Shop in Pasadena
via LinkedIn

Read this:

Leading Medical Marijuana Lab Raided in Pasadena

And this, particularly the comments of Dr. Raber toward the end of the article:

Parents in World of Children's Cannabis Fear, Desire Regulations


Here's the letter I wrote in support of Dr. Raber. If you live in California and would like to help us vouch for Dr. Raber, please email me and let me know.

April 9, 2015

To: City of Pasadena

My name is Elizabeth Aquino, and I am the mother of a twenty year old young woman who has severe and uncontrolled epilepsy as well as developmental disabilities. After a lifetime of seizures and over twenty medications that failed to help her, Sophie now experiences 90% fewer seizures and innumerable favorable side effects with Charlotte’s Web cannabis oil. As you can imagine, our journey toward this success has been extremely difficult, and we rely completely now on the integrity of the cannabis product to ensure that our daughter continues to do well.

I understand that this week, The Werc Shop was raided and that the owners, including Dr. Jeffrey Raber, were arrested. I am dismayed not only because we, as well as hundreds of other families with children like ours, depend upon Raber’s excellent business to test and insure that the product we are using has the highest standards, but also because I have had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Raber at a benefit dinner and found him to be a man of integrity, humility and great character.

I’m not sure if those in authority have any idea of what sort of service The Werc Shop provides and or how high its standards and integrity are. The cannabis medicine that we are giving our daughter MUST be pure and its potency and profile described. Dr. Raber’s work at The Werc Shop is essential for my daughter’s medicine, for our community and for anyone desiring this life-saving medicine.

I am a long-time healthcare advocate and have worked on the boards of several national non-profit foundations, including the Epilepsy Foundation of Greater Los Angeles. I have been an expert parent and family advocate for children’s healthcare organizations, including the National Institute for Children’s Healthcare Quality. I am concerned and outraged that Dr. Raber has been arrested and believe him to be falsely implicated. I hope that these charges will be dismissed immediately and that The Werc Shop can return to doing what it does so professionally and so well: ensure that the medicine we get for our children is pure.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Respectfully,
Elizabeth Aquino



**An earlier post of my letter included someone else as owner of the shop. I have corrected my letter to include Dr. Raber only. The cited article has his colleagues names.

Beach Evening Seizures

It was fun for a bit, but I'm not sure what happened for another bit because Sophie had a bunch of seizures. Was it the THCa? Was it the last dregs in the bottle of CBD? Too much THC, perhaps? The seizures kept coming, unusually. They were very small -- which is also unusual, but constant. I didn't feel worried, though, which is unusual. We're skipping a dose of the CBD and perhaps stopping the THCa. Big sighs all around for a day that's done. Tomorrow is another day, as they say.

When the Boys Are Gone

That's a poppy that I saw on a walk this morning. It looks as if there's an entire universe in there, doesn't it?



Sophie just got home from school. The boys are on the east coast. It's horribly quiet in the house and hardly peaceful. I'd call it desolate. I rarely complain about my boys for a reason, and that reason is because I adore having them around and they're amazing sons. I'm going to put Sophie in the car and drive west to the ocean. Maybe we'll walk a bit in the sand and watch the sun begin to go down. Maybe we'll eat some french fries at Perry's By the Sea before heading home.

What are ya'll up to?

The Suchness of Palms

to Sandra


Such things as
the dentist
and a lopped-off palm,
her cup flung
again.
and the stain
from the oil that drips
and dots the cover,
The pale green splotched with
yellow,
The mermaid's purple tail,
Her seizure
and my prayer,
The nurse's scarf
a drape over the sun,
in your other room.
Your dark son,
his light,
your hand, his heart

Such is,
of the type previously mentioned.


Our tiny mind
and the relentless
grind.

Conspiracy

We had a tiny little downpour last night where we all thought deluge! and I was even tempted to go out in it, head upturned and dance, but then it stopped and today it dawned startling clear with the bluest of skies and a crisp turn to the air. The wind, though, has been knocking the palms around, their dry brown husks litter the streets and the yard and I wonder, again, why I never hear of someone being killed by one or at least knocked out. I myself took the above photo gingerly, aware of the ones hanging over me from the neighbor's yard, and I've felt jittery all day from the wind. The power has gone off and on and off and on this afternoon and my house is so quiet and so empty except for the wind whispers that it feels like a conspiracy.

Tiny Little Mind Worry

I know ya'll think I'm a bit of a know-it-all bossypants, and I'll concede to a bit of that, but honestly, isn't there a higher tech way to close a jet door than the hand of a middle-aged female flight attendant?

I used my tiny little mother mind (and I'm thinking about trademarking that phrase) to send stern warnings to the pilots of the plane about the precious cargo onboard.  I could see them sipping Starbucks coffee as they pushed their controls and waited for the flight attendant to finish locking the door, so between my tiny little mother mind and my large, glaring eyes, I am certain they got the message.

The boys are off to the east coast to stay with my parents. I ambled back through the airport and into my sexy white Mazda already missing them. It's quiet here, and I've got a lot to do, but some of it will have to wait until they've safely arrived in Atlanta, and I hear their voices. Tiny little mother minds can handle only so much at once.

It's a big world and some thoughts about THCa

Once upon a time ....***





I honestly don't have much to say these days other than the occasional rant against the machine. I'll spare you my wrath and ire today.

Sophie continues to suffer from some withdrawal symptoms, so  we've added in a few drops of THCa, having learned that it's helpful in treating seizures, and the side effects of withdrawal from benzodiazepines, etc. Here's a brief description of it, via The Leaf Online.

Found in the trichomes, Tetrahydrocannabinolic acid (THCa) is the acidic precursor to THC, which actually exists in only minute quantities in the living plant. In living cannabis, THCa is the most abundant cannabinoid and terpenoid, potentially reaching over 30% of the dry weight of any cannabis plant. Immediately after harvest, the THCa begins to be converted into THC, a process quickened by exposure to heat and sunlight. One main reason cannabis is cured is to convert the THCa into THC, as well as drying it out to make it easier to burn, thus releasing the remaining THCa as THC. Knowing about decarboxylating cannabis is crucial in making edibles, where one pre-cooks the bud  before making it into butter to raise the potency by converting THCa into THC.

Like all cannabinoids that exist in the living cannabis plant, THCa is non-psychoactive, though it still stimulates the appetite like THC. It also is a powerful anti-inflammatory, helps fight cancer and other tumors, aids with sleep, and more. Also like THC, an oral test has already been developed to detect THCa. While some sources show THCa to be a stable compound, Aphios research chemicals claims that it is very unstable and will breakdown into THC within weeks. It may have to do with the preparation of synthesized THCa used in their laboratory versus an active live-plant based THCa, but without further research the stability of THCa and how quickly it converts to THC is unknown.

Therapeutic Uses

Analgesic – Relieves pain.

Anti-Emetic – Reduces vomiting and nausea.

Anti-Inflammatory – Reduces inflammation.

Anti-Insomnia – Aids with sleep.

Anti-Proliferative – Inhibits cancer cell growth.

Antispasmodic –  Suppresses muscle spasms.

Modulates Immune System – THCa has been shown to both improve and potentially suppress the immune system functions.

Neuroprotective – Slows damage to the nervous system and brain.

An interesting thing to think about (at least for me) is that all of our tinkering with CBD and THCa is not replicable in these studies that some universities and big pharmaceutical companies are doing. In other words, we are working with a whole plant medicine, the whole plant, and we raise and lower the dose and then observe. We have found that Sophie has better seizure control with a smaller amount of CBD than a larger one. We have also found that she does better overall with a coconut-based oil rather than an olive oil. The studies being done at the University of California at San Francisco, the ones spearheaded by one of the mocking neurologists on the panel, are in a sesame oil base AND are synthetic AND are pure CBD (no THC at all) AND are pushed up to extremely high dosages. When this neurologist told us about the "explosive diarrhea" that was "under-reported" by apparently "untrustworthy mothers," what I thought was, "How the hell are they getting that much oil into the kid and doesn't sesame oil cause diarrhea?" I'll also admit to having a grand chuckle inside my tiny little mother mind at explosive diarrhea causing alarm, given the side effects that Sophie has been subject to over twenty years -- irritability, joint pain, depression, anorexia, depleted iron, impacted stool, increased seizures, ataxia, dizziness, headache, ulcers, suppressed immune system, strange fevers, skin rashes, hallucinations, etc. 


Anyhoo.

I'll keep you posted on the THCa. One thing I've noticed, so far, is less seizures. Again, that's anecdotal and observed by my tiny, little mother mind.

















***For those unaware, the photo is on La Brea here in Los Angeles on a billboard that often displays weird and mysterious photos. As you can see, it's Bruce Jenner in all his Olympian glory. I have vivid memories of crushing on him -- believing him to be the most beautiful man on the planet. He doesn't look like that anymore. He doesn't look like anyone anymore. Bless his heart. Life is weird and the world is big.

The Day After Easter

The Palm at the End of the Mind


After fulfilling everything
one two three he came back again
free, no more prophecy requiring
that he enter the city just this way,
no more set-up treacheries.
It was the day after Easter. He adored
the eggshell litter and the cellophane
caught in the grass. Each door he passed
swung with its own business, all the 
witnesses along his route of pain
again distracted by fear of loss
or hope of gain. It was wonderful
to be a man, bewildered by 
so many flowers, the rush
and ebb of hours, his own
ambiguous gestures--his 
whole heart exposed, then
taking cover.


--Kay Ryan

Happy Easter!

In lieu of a post, listen to this snippet of beauty on my Tumblr.

Click here.

Benzo Withdrawal Syndrome and More Ragging on Some Neurologists

My friend Christy Shake posted this on her blog Calvin's Story, but it bears repeating. It's also especially effective given the amount of condescension and mockery we endured last week during the neurology conference. I have a vague, unsettled memory of one of the docs claiming that some mothers with kids on CBD had neglected to mention that their children had explosive diarrhea for a week when the trial of synthetic CBD started. The fact that they are using gigantic amounts of the stuff for the testing aside, her statement that mothers aren't to be trusted in what they report was what incensed those of us dealing with the following shit (Sophie has been on this particular benzo, Onfi, for over eight years. She's been on and off of various benzos her ENTIRE LIFE since she was an infant of three months).


Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome—often abbreviated to benzo withdrawal—is the cluster of symptoms that emerge when a person who has taken benzodiazepines and has developed a physical dependence undergoes dosage reduction or discontinuation. Development of physical dependence and or addiction and the resulting withdrawal symptoms, some of which may last for years, may result from either drug seeking behaviors or from taking the medication as prescribed. Benzodiazepine withdrawal is characterized by sleep disturbance, irritability, increased tension and anxiety, panic attacks, hand tremor, sweating, difficulty with concentration, confusion and cognitive difficulty, memory problems, dry retching and nausea, weight loss, palpitations, headache, muscular pain and stiffness, a host of perceptual changes, hallucinations, seizures, psychosis, and suicide. Further, these symptoms are notable for the manner in which they wax and wane and vary in severity from day to day or week by week instead of steadily decreasing in a straightforward monotonic manner.

It is a potentially serious condition, and is complex and often protracted in time course. Long-term use, defined as daily use for at least three months, is not desirable because of the associated increased risk of dependence, dose escalation, loss of efficacy, increased risk of accidents and falls, particularly for the elderly, as well as cognitive, neurological, and intellectual impairments.

Benzodiazepine withdrawal can be severe and can provoke life-threatening withdrawal symptoms, such as seizures, particularly with abrupt or over-rapid dosage reduction from high doses or long time users. A severe withdrawal response can nevertheless occur despite gradual dose reduction, or from relatively low doses in short time users, even after a single large dose in animal models. A minority of individuals will experience a protracted withdrawal syndrome whose symptoms may persist at a sub-acute level for months, or years after cessation of benzodiazepines. The likelihood of developing a protracted withdrawal syndrome can be minimized by a slow, gradual reduction in dosage.

Chronic exposure to benzodiazepines causes neural adaptations that counteract the drug's effects, leading to tolerance and dependence. Despite taking a constant therapeutic dose, long-term use of benzodiazepines may lead to the emergence of withdrawal-like symptoms, particularly between doses. When the drug is discontinued or the dosage reduced, withdrawal symptoms may appear and remain until the body reverses the physiological adaptations. These rebound symptoms may be identical to the symptoms for which the drug was initially taken, or may be part of discontinuation symptoms. In severe cases, the withdrawal reaction may exacerbate or resemble serious psychiatric and medical conditions, such as mania, schizophrenia, and, especially at high doses, seizure disorders.

The following symptoms may emerge during gradual or abrupt dosage reduction:

Aches and pains
Agitation and restlessness
Akathisia
Anxiety, possible terror and panic attacks
Blurred vision
Chest pain
Depersonalization
Depression (can be severe), possible suicidal ideation
Derealisation (feelings of unreality)
Diarrhoea
Dilated pupils
Dizziness
Double vision
Dry mouth
Dysphoria
Electric shock sensations
Elevation in blood pressure
Fatigue and weakness
Flu-like symptoms
Gastrointestinal problems
Hearing impairment
Headache
Hot and cold spells
Hyperosmia
Hypertension
Hypnagogia-hallucinations
Hypochondriasis
Increased sensitivity to touch
Increased sensitivity to sound
Increased urinary frequency
Indecision
Insomnia
Impaired concentration
Impaired memory and concentration
Loss of appetite and weight loss
Metallic taste
Mild to moderate Aphasia
Mood swings
Muscular spasms, cramps or fasciculations
Nausea and vomiting
Nightmares
Numbness and tingling
Obsessive compulsive disorder
Paraesthesia
Paranoia
Perception that stationary objects are moving
Perspiration
Photophobia
Postural hypotension
REM sleep rebound
Restless legs syndrome
Sounds louder than usual
Stiffness
Taste and smell disturbances
Tachycardia
Tinnitus
Tremor
Visual disturbances

An abrupt or over-rapid discontinuation of benzodiazepines may result in a more serious and very unpleasant withdrawal syndrome that may additionally result in:

Catatonia, which may result in death
Confusion
Convulsions, which may result in death
Coma (rare)
Delirium tremens
Delusions
Hallucinations
Hyperthermia
Homicide ideations
Mania
Neuroleptic malignant syndrome-like event (rare)
Organic brain syndrome
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Psychosis
Suicidal ideation
Suicide
Urges to shout, throw, break things or harm someone
Violence

excerpts taken from Wikipedia but most is on white drug insert

It bears repeating to say that my child and thousands like her have been on little tested combinations of drugs with no success controlling their seizures for as long as pharmaceuticals have been around. There is little recognition of this FACT. Holding cannabis up to these phantom-like exacting standards is not just BULLSHIT, it's unethical and borders on criminal.

I Heart California

I drove up to Los Altos in Silicon Valley from Los Angeles on Monday and back down on Thursday. Once you hit the 5 North, there's not much until you get off and drive through Gilroy which is pretty fantastic. We stopped for gas somewhere along the 5, though, and caught these Indian folks just sitting, chatting and eating outside of an ugly old strip mall. While Oliver pumped gas into my car, I took this surreptitious photo. Oliver does a wicked Indian/British accent -- he's truly a remarkable mimic -- and cracked me up.

I'm tired out, ya'll, and plumb out of words.

I do love California, though, parched and brown and sere as it is.

Aunt Yvonne

My beloved Aunt Yvonne died last weekend, and I headed up to northern California on Monday to attend her funeral. Aunt Yvonne was a wonderful lady who had a long and prosperous life. I'll miss her gentle spirit and regal presence, as well as her incredible generosity. I'm grateful for the extra time that I got to spend with her over the past seventeen years in California, this incredible state that she and I, both east coast transplants, loved. She will be missed.