Monday, October 12, 2009

Denise


The Three Graces - Raphael


I've had a hard time coming up with blog posts of late -- I don't know whether to tell you, daily, of struggles and recovery from struggles or whether to post favorite poems or music or even to just be silent. I've felt a fleeing of the muse, I guess, and perhaps a tiny bit of boredom. Generally, this blog writing is like exercise and my writing flexibility is greater when I'm blogging, less when I'm not. So I try to keep going.

Today, though, I'm going to post a link to a wonderful site called Literary Mama, and, in particular, to an essay written by a friend of mine, Denise Emanuel Clemen. Denise and I met in a writing workshop at UCLA many years ago. It was taught by another writer (whom I now call friend and mentor), Barbara Abercrombie, and was called Writing the Healing Story. I began this class in the fall before Sophie turned ten years old, and while I had been a very active writer prior to her birth, I had literally written nothing since her birth and diagnosis. During the decade that passed I had filed away encounters and thoughts about the medical world we had been thrust into with the mantra this will go in my book. I had built a book in my mind and it buttressed me, but it wasn't until that morning class with Barbara that I dismantled the book in my head and began to really write it.

Four years later, I've written most of that book but still struggle with its structure and with finishing it. Perhaps that's because IT is not finished and I'm hard put to impose a finish. The book is about Sophie and her seizure disorder, but it's also about the health system and what it means to be sick in our culture. It's about the difference between healing and curing and it's about what it's like to be subsumed by something other than oneself. It's about our family and the journey we've been on that separates us from others and binds us to others. It's a sad story and a hopeful one, I think, but there is no end to the story because there is no end to this.

I digress. I wanted to post Denise's beautiful essay, recently published at Literary Mama. Denise is an amazing writer and a dear friend. Her voice is clear and true, sometimes angry and often filled with wonder and love. She has written a book about giving a baby up for adoption when she was seventeen years old. It's an incredible book, a testament to her as a woman and writer. I hope that it's published soon. In the meantime, read THIS. 

14 comments:

  1. I would never have known you were struggling to write. Everything you say grabs me. I love that you are living a life. A full life.

    Love Renee xoxo

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  2. Thanks for the link, it was a beautiful essay indeed. As for your struggle, do what makes you feel good. You can write about the weather, and it will be enjoyable. Because you are such a good writer.

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  3. You are amazing, and I hear you. You will get the book done. You will finish it when you're ready, and it will be wonderful.

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  4. I like to know others struggle with the writing out of things. (sorry) That it's not just me. And that endings elude us, in life and in writing. Endings. They're curious things. We strive for them and yet reject them. Curious.
    xo
    erin

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  5. My dear Elizabeth, for all I care you could copy a dictionary page on your blog and I will read between the lines and see you there. Love to you (I read the essay and I could only think about my children biological mothers. I offered so many times to help them if they were interested in finding them or anything about them and they just weren't. They never expressed any interest or asked any questions. As they became adults I just stopped asking since I realized that now they could do it without my help. Who knows why they didn't even tried. When I asked, they just said "I am not curious at all. You are my mother" and that was a clear signal that there was no more talking about it.
    Sigh...)

    Who knows why life makes thes

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  6. OMG, it was thrilling to see my name at the top of your recent post. It is of course even more thrilling to be your friend. This is my last day of my residency in France and the email from LIterary Mama was such a nice send off. Because the essay came out some months ago, I did not expect to see my name there with the essay as a featured archived piece. Our books will both be out in the world some day, I hope. I believe it, in fact. Meanwhile, we blog! (Is 3 too many?!)

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  7. i LOVE literary mama... even though the always send me a rejection letter. i can see why -- they really have a talented pool of beautiful writers.

    i cannot WAIT to read your book in its finished form. if your posts are anything to go by, this book will win literature prizes left and right and charm and move the hearts of everyone!

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  8. See why I love you, you make me laugh.

    I feel the same way about the 'comment.' Sometimes after I read your post and see the love (no, feel the love) for your family. I think, what the heck can I add. I just always want you to know that I love you and I feel it.

    Love Renee xoxo

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  9. This is a hauntingly beautiful piece of work. Stunningly powerful. Thank you for posting the link.
    I love that painting. We should all be posting that in our dressing rooms/closets to remember what a classically beautiful woman looks like!

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  10. I imagine that writing a book would be a little bit like having a baby. It will be born when the baby's ready - not so much when you are. And in the meantime - it's your baby and intimately yours. I know what you mean about the blogging exercise ..... I've been pushing through it myself .... and in the end I always come back to knowing it's the best thing I've got going right now for encouragement, inspiration and community.

    I always look forward to catching up on your posts :)

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  11. I was just thinking the same -- that it is so hard to write about IT, when IT is not finished. Oscar is about to turn nine and you are inspiring me to get a more serious start even if I don't know where it ends yet. I know you will find your finish...it will come when you are ready.

    Thank you for the links to Denise's beautiful essay and to Barbara's site. Two more wonderful links, and places to go when I should be writing!

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  12. Thanks for sharing your friend's writing with us. Her story held me, had me feeling the hot sticky nights and cold culture of the times. Great writing.

    PS I'm glad to hear that your life has been going into a book. It will make a difference.

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  13. You will finish your book someday, and when you do, I will be an enthusiastic reader.

    Sounds like you're not doing a Hollywood ending??

    ;)

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  14. Are you sending out essays? Do! Just keep knowing what an incredible writer you are. With love - Barbara

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