Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Hitting the floor, not the fan



That would be shit.

This is going to be a shit-filled post, so click off if you can't take the shit.

It rained in Los Angeles today -- actually, it didn't just rain. It poured. Los Angeles doesn't take to rain very well, and it was a shitstorm.

See where this is going?

When the boys and I opened the front door into our living room, we nearly stepped into a huge pool of dog shit. Dog diarrhea. There was some sympathetic gagging, but I managed to clean it up and prevent my poor, frail sons from doing the job themselves.

Sophie's bus pulled up just as I put the mop down, so I walked outside to help her off and escort her inside. On the way back, I stepped into some dog shit on the sidewalk and muttered Shit under my breath.

The rain was coming down in buckets, but I managed to get Sophie onto the porch and just as I walked through with her, she went down in a huge shi-- seizure.

I swooped her up and literally threw her seizing body over the side of the couch and yelled Shit!


You really can't make this shit up.
at

20 comments:

  1. Denise Emanuel ClemenOctober 5, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    Holy f*#@%ing shit.
    I hope a rainbow hits your place soon.
    Have a little beverage when things settle down.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ms. MoonOctober 5, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    Oh shit.
    When it shits, it shit-pours.
    That's another bad design flaw- shit. Couldn't we just have been designed to live on the ether, on sunlight and farted moonbeams?
    No. To be alive is to shit.
    To be a mother is to clean it up.
    I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. GbergerOctober 5, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    I'm so sorry you've had such a sh*tty day. I hope tomorrow will be better. xoxo

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  4. Single Dad / Disabled DaughterOctober 5, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    Still a fan.

    ReplyDelete
  5. karioOctober 5, 2011 at 8:24 PM

    Oh, God. Those days. The good news is, you've hit your shit quota for a bit. Tomorrow ought to be filled with rainbows and butterflies.

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  6. Tanya SavkoOctober 5, 2011 at 8:56 PM

    Ugh. That's one hell of a shitty morning. With you in spirit, sending hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ellen SeidmanOctober 5, 2011 at 9:30 PM

    That is some serious shit. I hope you had yourself some sort of alcoholic beverage this evening, tho not a Shitini.

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  8. Maggie MayOctober 5, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    Oh yeah. Alcohol is mandatory after that shit.

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  9. Phil DzialoOctober 6, 2011 at 4:46 AM

    When all is shit, become a fly.
    ~ Josh Holman

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  10. AnonymousOctober 6, 2011 at 5:18 AM

    A shit storm indeed.

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  11. tulpenOctober 6, 2011 at 5:18 AM

    Brings me back to the days of following shitty little footprints left by Owen to find him *cleaning* his shitty little self.

    He was a shitty shit cleaner.

    ReplyDelete
  12. NoanOctober 6, 2011 at 5:27 AM

    My first grin of the morning came here:

    "There was some sympathetic gagging, but I managed to clean it up and prevent my poor, frail sons from doing the job themselves."

    ReplyDelete
  13. 37paddingtonOctober 6, 2011 at 6:06 AM

    holy crap!

    ReplyDelete
  14. MoiraOctober 6, 2011 at 9:16 AM

    Holy crap : (
    Haven't been by your blog in a while. Hope the days are not so shitty. You always make me laugh and think and click and click and click around to see what you're up to on your blog and in your life. xo, M

    ReplyDelete
  15. Steph(anie)October 6, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    Shitty shit shit.

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  16. SECRET PEPPER PERSON:October 6, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    Seriously....I know these days. I came home from work on Monday and went in to the bathroom and there was a turd on the floor. No not dog...our dog leaves elephant piles. Where did the turd come from? Did it roll out of pants or diaper? Why did no one notice it? How long had the lonely little turd been waiting? You are right. You can't make this stuff up.

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  17. BirdieOctober 6, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    This reminds me of Forrest Gump. Shit Happens.

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  18. blogzillyOctober 7, 2011 at 5:20 AM

    The only good thing about shit is that mushrooms grow on it and i've had some crazy teas in my life made with that shit.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousOctober 7, 2011 at 11:08 AM

    when it rains, it pours.

    ReplyDelete
  20. LeslieOctober 8, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    i hear ya.

    ReplyDelete