For those of you wondering how the weekend went for Mulan, my grandegg, evidently all went well until this afternoon when, Henry told me, S and I got up for a minute, Mom, ONE MINUTE, and she was cracked.
I refrained from expressing the fact that well, it only takes a minute, but I did initially gasp and say what do you mean, you left Mulan alone? and was immediately reassured by Henry that they are given the chance to boil another egg to take care of for the rest of the week but that they can't get any higher than a 92% on their final grade for the project. When Oliver and I expressed wonder that this would be allowed, because, after all, you can't really replace a baby so easily, Henry stated that it's about taking care of the egg, Mom, and it wouldn't be fair to not let us finish. We get penalized but we still have to finish.
This late in the game of school, I'm deflecting any arguing, so I let it go, but Oliver kept at it pretty much the entire ride home until I raised my voice and shouted Enough about Mulan! Both of you be quiet and not another word! Evidently, my son-in-law S is responsible for Mulan's resurrection tonight and he's decorating her as well, because not only is he a hairdresser but moonlights as a pretty incredible artist. Noah's egg remained peaceful in his little box on Noah's lap and stayed there the entire ride home despite Oliver's pleas to hold him for a just a little while. The thought crossed my mind that single parenting might be easier in some respects -- well -- let's not go into marriage right now.
Before long, I imagine I'll have one of those fold-out wallets with pictures, so Reader, stay tuned.
I expect Mulan and her fathers to have her own reality show by the time I hit "publish" on this comment.
ReplyDeleteOh, wait, that's already been done, hasn't it?
I just love this. I have no idea if this will have any effect whatsoever on how these children grow up and decide or not-decide to have children and if they do, will positively affect them as parents but DAMN! I just love this.
ReplyDeleteAnd this post brings to mind that great Bill Cosby quote which goes something like, "I made you and I can take you out and make another one JUST LIKE YOU!"
Which, I am sure, almost all fathers have thought at one time or another whether they admit it or not.
Your writing and wit rock. Just saw Amma, still in the zone. Wish I could take you again when she is in LA....next week.
ReplyDeleteThese posts need to be in your book proposal.
ReplyDeleteTwo words: Movie Deal.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't they just carry the cracked egg? Why do they make a new one? Seems to me comparing the cracks at the end of the week would be a good way to gauge parenthood, at least within the parameters of this (highly realistic) experiment.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, this is a hoot!
I am enjoying your egg-cellent story of baby Mulan and family! Such a hoot. Am anxious to hear of your sweet grandegg's fate. Wonder what will become of these treasures when the assignment is complete?
ReplyDeleteso your new grand egg is going to be beautifully decorated by your new son in law, but still i'm with steve. why not take care of the cracked egg for the remainder of the experiment. it would definitely be more like life.
ReplyDeleteand you are funny, elizabeth! i wish someone were following these proceedings with a documentary camera. it would win an oscar.
You just have such a beautiful grand egg! In high school, we had to parent actual baby dolls that cried until you stuck a key in their back. Our baby had two moms and both neglected to fasten her seat belt so that, when a traffic cop was spotted as we speed twenty above down a hill, the brakes were slammed and the baby went flying into the front seat and struck her head on the dash.
ReplyDeleteWe were docked ten points from 100.
Can't wait to see the brag book ;-).
ReplyDeleteWe had to lug around 10# bags of flour in high school.