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| via Chris Pekoc |
Yesterday, I had to go pick Oliver up from school early and take him to our homeopath/naturopath. I pulled in front of the school and parked in the 5-minute loading zone, dashed inside, signed him out and then walked outside to wait for him to come down (the school is in a many-storied building in a very urban part of the city). You're not going to believe this, but the exact same woman who had tormented me the other day with her impervious refusal to acknowledge my emergency, was typing away on her hand-held device, giving me a ticket! I said, Wait a minute! This is a 5-minute loading zone, and I've been here for less than 2 minutes! You can't give me a ticket! She said, It's a loading zone and you're not loading, are you? I said, Yes, my son will be down in a moment. She said, Nope, I've already written you a ticket and then she handed it to me with a smile. I couldn't see her eyes because she was wearing those mirrored kind. I swear to the good lord above that she knew exactly who I was, that she remembered my car and just wanted to stick it to me. Once again, I refrained from calling her a foul name but did ask her for her name. She told me that it was on the ticket.
Her name is Ms. Chavez.
Evidently, Ms. Chavez is now part of what Kurt Vonnegut called my karass, a group of people who, often unknowingly, are working together to do God's will. The group can be thought of as the fingers that support a cat's cradle.
Either that, or I'm dealing with some interesting karma.
I fully intend to write a nice note to the parking authorities, whomever they are, and complain about Ms. Chavez. I understand that one has to be a hard ass to be a parking meter cop, but Ms. Chavez is a bitch and needs a complaint filed against her.
Now, let's listen to this and all calm down.
good lord. how exactly is she doing god's will again?
ReplyDeleteIt would benefit all of humanity if you would file that complaint. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteMadness! It's hard to believe that she wasn't following you around! I hope you have a weekend free of parking officers.
ReplyDeleteWhat a freaking bitch!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you brought up the word "karass." I often think of the "false karass" he wrote about too. I think all clubs are filled with people in false karasses. Mostly.
But back to that woman. Her karma is gonna get her. And you go ahead and help that along with a very strongly worded note and a follow-up call if necessary.
i think it's her karma that is the issue here -- and it's not looking good for her!
ReplyDeleteOh, cool! This is absolutely freakily fabulous. You might not have complained after the incident with Sophie the other day. But now you will--and she deserves it. And ditto what Jeneva said. Seriously, seriously.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you're a member of her karass...and your writing of that complaint will be issuing her karma.
ReplyDeleteNow let's all turn to page 7 in our hymnals. I'll lead off... "What a fellowbitch, what a joy..." Oops, wrong book.
ReplyDeleteI'm with AimeeWrites! OMFG - you are part of her opening, her awakening. I fully believe that you will set in motion the events that she will one day be grateful for. I can't wait to hear the contents of your letter.
ReplyDeleteUnbelievable!
ReplyDeleteDamn.
You cannot possibly be serious. You can't. Tell me you're not, please. Please. This sounds like a nightmare/Seinfeld episode ("Parking Nazi").
ReplyDeleteIf you are serious, then yes, writing a letter sounds good. And please share it here.
Yes! I'm serious! Can you freaking believe it? I was so rattled by it yesterday that I could hardly breathe. Absurdity is stalking me, Karen!
DeleteHoly cow! What are the odds?! I wonder if her first name really IS Rita?!
ReplyDeleteoh man, of course she remembered you! I am entertaining thoughts of great bodily harm to Ms. Chavez...even though I know that is not good for my own karma. You going to fight this ticket or is that just too much to bear?
ReplyDeleteWow....how could real life be so similar to what fictional writers imagine? This is why I restrict my reading to non-fiction despite the protests of book groups and my good friends. Let us know how the story unwinds as clearly the suspense will be killing us, and make sure you enjoy writing that letter Elizabeth (this is not the time to slack off!)
ReplyDeleteholy crap... are you kidding me with that coincidence?!?!? you cant make stuff like this UP!! i would be THRILLED if i were you - getting a ticket from her means you now have her name and can formally lodge a complaint.
ReplyDeleteIf you get her address I will personally send her a lovely package... perhaps my daughter's soiled diaper would do? if i were local i would have a better arsenal of paybacks at my disposal. i'd gladly sacrifice my own karma for something like this :)
It's alomst like the universe is providing you with some kind of advanced prep - like the kind high school students sign up for before their college entrance exams - in dealing with people who feel that it is "not their job" to practice compassion or simple kindness. I hope this isn't an omen for the upcoming election.
ReplyDeleteI imagine Ms. Chavez goes home at night and pours a glass of wine and thinks about her quotas. She muses about the places she might next catch that lady with the sick daughter. An easy mark, that helpless woman who makes her job so enjoyable. She sinks back into her lawn chair, closes her eyes, her brain a bit warm and zingy with wine and power. She's not expecting a letter eloquently composed by a master writer and read aloud to her by her boss, who then leans back and writes out a warning ticket to Ms. Chavez. She's not expecting that at all.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my favorite comments, ever. It reminds me of a Robert Altman film.
DeleteThat is way too weird. You must complain, in your wonderful, descriptive style. Don't hold back, she is evil!
ReplyDeleteThough I am furious with Ms. Chavez, I can't stop wondering what it's like to be her. Her life must be grim indeed if she wields power her small power so maliciously.
ReplyDelete