Saturday, November 10, 2012

Yosemite, 2009


I sat two times next to my friend Michelle as she lay dying in a hospital bed at my friend's house, my arm poked through the metal bars of the side rail so that I might better hold her smooth, cool hand that lay curled up near her shoulder. I have never sat near someone who was once so alive yet lay, with labored breathing, her mouth slack and eyelids closed, smooth, so near death. She was at once a gorgeous woman, yet strong for what she had endured, how she had loved, her face softened by time and a baby, watched over, each breath, my finger at her wrist, her pulse beating. We are all so alive I thought, bent over her, so incredibly alive. Michelle died yesterday morning with her family breathing around her, with the house containing all the love one could possibly imagine holding them all.

To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
Emily Dickinson 

18 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss, Elizabeth. To have been allowed the gift of reflection with your friend and her family while she was in this state of transition is an amazing thing and I believe that this is how we were meant to pass on.

    Love and light to all who are grieving.

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  2. You and her family have my sympathies, Elizabeth. I'm grateful that you were able to be with her before she passed - it's a tender privilege, isn't it? Sending hugs to you.

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  3. "with the house containing all the love one could possibly imagine holding them all"
    Such a beautiful and poignant image. Sending love, peace and strength to all of her family and to you my dear, dear friend.

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  4. So sorry for your loss Elizabeth.
    I lost my best friend in December of 2001. Your description of sitting by your friend's bedside captured my last day with her perfectly. It is a huge gift to be with someone in their last days on our planet.

    xoxo

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  5. Sending Michele's family peace and strength as they navigate the days ahead. And you as well Elizabeth.

    I have often remarked to people, when recounting my privileged moments beside those fighting their way out of this life,that intertwined within the deep sorrow and grief is an indescribable beauty. One you have to experience to understand. An honor. Perhaps the greatest of all.

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  6. Yes. A beautiful, good death- something that we, in our culture, find a hard concept to understand. But. It happens. And it is holy.

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  7. Michelle's death was a beautiful one, for all the pain and sadness of her loss. To pass out of this world with her whole family around her, bathed in love, it is a very good death. You helped give her that. My condolences and love.

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  8. Oh Elizabeth, I'm so sorry. I've sat at my friend's side while she died at home, and known how right and okay and beautiful it was, even in so much grief. I'm thinking of you.

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  9. To be attendant during death is its own gift, and further blurs the threshold between it and life.

    Blessings to you, and to your friend's family.

    xo

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  10. So sorry Elizabeth. You are a true friend and a beautiful soul. Sending love.

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  11. I still don't rationalize well with the fact that death reaps some of our most vibrant souls. Peace and condolences and bear hugs.

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  12. I am sorry for your loss. You are a great friend and inspiration to many.

    Sending love, T

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  13. I am so sorry ELizabeth. And so glad you could be there with her.

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  14. I'm so sorry. I lost a very good friend a few years ago to cancer. She's the reason I now work in cancer care. Death, even though it will come to us all, is still a surprise. The biggest surprise for me always, is that life just still goes on. It makes me realize that my own death will merely be a blip.

    But life, life is startling. Emily had it right.

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  15. I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. May she rest in peace.

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  16. Oh boy, this really hit a nerve with me and made me cry. I am so sorry. Yet, I understand what others have written here -- that there is a certain privilege in being present at such a time. The Emily quote is so perfect.

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