Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Perspective, Part 3,456,782
So, I don't know if any of ya'll get agita (how about that for a southern American/Italian linguistic reference?) when October passes, and your pumpkins are still sitting pristine outside your front door with a tiny perfect persimmon from a neighbor's tree perched on top, but I do. If I told you that I get slightly nervous every single time I pass into and out of my house and see those perfect pumpkins sitting there, would you think less of me? Last year, some vandals miraculously appeared at some point on Halloween and threw our pumpkins, or smashed them in the street, a terrible act for which I was secretly grateful. Seeing as how you all hold me to high moral standards juggling my not inconsiderable problems, would you chastise me for my bourgeois complaint or commiserate? I just can't throw them away. We don't have a compost bin. I will not cut them up and cook them. It's 12/12/12, and the poinsettias are plopped into the pots on either side of the door, clashing horribly with the orange pumpkins.
Reader, please tell me what to do.
And stay tuned for a January post in which I ask for suggestions for what to do with the potted poinsettias. I HATE POINSETTIAS at any other time than Christmas and even then, I'm stretching my tolerance levels to include them in my decor. Oliver insisted.
Ours had to be thrown out - they rotted on the bottom. Welcome to Seattle! (It's rainy "season", for the uninitiated.)ReplyDelete
Squirrels love pumpkin. If you don't want to cook them, you could cut them up and set out the chunks for the squirrels.ReplyDelete
I hate poinsettias too. I generally do amaryllis instead because somehow I don't manage to kill bulbs as quickly as I kill other plants.
throw them in OUR compost!ReplyDelete
Do I have to cut them up? Or maybe we could let the boys destroy them?ReplyDelete
we have a little machete...the boys can take turns (unless you and I get there first!)ReplyDelete
thank god for jenniwendorf because I was going to make you throw those things awayReplyDelete
Have the boys spray paint them white, paint two coal eyes, a carrot nose,ReplyDelete
then voilà! A snowman!
Oh, my god. That's freaking brilliant.Delete
I was going to do it with our pumpkins, then we got a freeze and they turned all mushy. Now we just have one living in the garage, that I'm sure the husband will hack up with whatever new knife he gets for Christmas.Delete
I'll be damned, I'm sure, but I'm with Lisa.ReplyDelete
Okay, are you ready? I'm going to tell you what to do. Get a can of metallic spray paint. Silver or gold. Or some kind of pewter if you're into it. Cover the poinsettias and surrounding area. Spray in several thin coats, waiting a few moments in between coats to prevent drips. Enjoy your sculptural, organic festive gourd tableau.ReplyDelete
Deana's snowman idea is adorable too. But you know how we are in the south; if you can't fry it, spray paint it gold.
How about a gold snowman?Delete
Send them up to Seattle and they can keep company with my solitary pumpkin on my front porch.ReplyDelete
You need like and love buttons on your comments.ReplyDelete
We have weekly compost pick up here, so sorry.
I switched to white poinsettias after my years working at a greenhouse/nursery. A sea of red weeds .
"if you can't fry it, spray paint it gold." Applies to Italian Americans, too, not just southerners. Hee hee.ReplyDelete
I was gonna say shoot 'em with a tranquilizer gun and transport them back to the woods from whence they came.
I personally think Oliver would have a blast making a snowman out of them but as for ours, in the compost can the day after Halloween. Well, one remains till the day after Thanksgiving and then bye-bye.ReplyDelete
LOL @ Deana! But I think jenniwerndorf has the best idea. Compost those babies!ReplyDelete
What's wrong with letting them stay right where they are until they rot? They look lovely.ReplyDelete
They do look lovely. You could just drape them in white lights. Festive!ReplyDelete