Sophie will be eighteen years old this Friday, March 8th, and I think in anticipation of this momentous birthday, I will reflect a bit -- but only a bit. I casually took her baby book off the shelf in the hallway and opened it up, flipped through the pages that I had so carefully written and where I had stored so many mementos. I pulled out the above piece of graph paper with The Husband's careful script, the names we talked about lined up like birds on a line. We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl. We wanted to be surprised.
There is Sophie, tucked in next to last, a tiny smudged dot next to six delicate letters, about to unfold.
Preciousness. I don't think I ever told you that Sofia was our choice for a girl (when expecting Annabelle) until the very last minute.
ReplyDeleteWhat a precious memento. I can't imagine any name would fit her better than the one that means the feminine embodiment of wisdom. I'll be thinking of you both this week, approaching this great milestone.
ReplyDeleteAyla was very nearly Arwen. Thank god(dess) for second choices.
I think that 18 is often a stressful birthday for parents, no matter the circumstances, because of what the larger culture we live in makes it mean. I was incredibly stressed by both my kids 18th birthdays; I felt there was something I should be doing to mark it and I felt so unequal to knowing what was appropriate. And then the day came and went, another birthday, just another birthday. I will be thinking of you marking Sophie's 18th birthday this week, the invisible line between childhood and adulthood, and everything that means for you and beautiful incandescent Sophie but also the tangled bureaucracies you both must navigate. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteAngella's comment nails it. You are a beautiful writer Elizabeth. xo
ReplyDeleteAnd then there she was. Sophie. And here she is. You have kept her safe for eighteen years. You have loved her to the very bits of her bones. She is your mermaid girl.
ReplyDeleteYou have been such a strong, loving mother and have those 3 great kids to show for it. Sophie is beautiful and her light shines brightly through her eyes. I hope she has a big bash of a party to celebrate this momentous occasion. I can only imagine the mixture of pride and sorrow you must feel as her big day approaches. My heart feels so much in reading your blog entries. You are a beautiful writer and through that let us into your life. Thank you for that as what you write is important to know and really life-changing in many ways. I don't feel I am being articulate so I'll stop. Sweet Jo
ReplyDeleteAnd she could never be anyone but beautiful Sophie.
ReplyDeleteI think it is so cool to look back on the names we thought we wanted and how those names could never fit our children now.
Happy Birthday to Sophie. You chose a beautiful name for a beautiful daughter.
ReplyDeleteSuch exotic names. Cosima! Paola! Florian! And yet no Oliver or Henry. I suppose each pregnancy must feel a bit different, give you a different "vibe" for the individual baby. Do you think?
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful memento to have! I'll wait til Friday to sing Happy Birthday.
ReplyDeleteI love Angella's description of "the beautiful incandescent Sophie" and of course believe deeply in the significance of the smudge, as it appears to be embracing the name. Happy birth week dear Sophie and to dear Elizabeth, take much pride and comfort in how you have raised her.xo
ReplyDeleteGoosebumps.
ReplyDeleteMarch 8 is my brother's birthday. xox
ReplyDeleteoh my heart!
ReplyDeleteI remember unfolding 2 yellow legal pads folded in my daughter's baby book years ago. It was a letter I wrote to her on the eve of her first birthday. I imagined how she'd read it later on and know how much I love her. I hope, though she can't read it, she knows anyway. (I feel my own blog coming on...)
This will be a birthday to tug on the heartstrings this year, won't it? I'll be following behind you with CB turning 18 this May. Wow.
A sweet treasure .... Wonderful names on the list - they read like old world European characters in an intricate novel
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking of Sophie, and you, on Friday.
ReplyDeleteI have a grocery list on the back of which hubby and I wrote down the minutes between contractions, before we decided to head to the hospital almost 16 years ago, and we and our life changed.
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