I wondered today whether I'd made it all up and if we make it all up, then why can't we un-make it? I thought about the poet and how she can use words to make things up and hide behind them so that only those who are known and who know will understand them.
I feel the itch of hair, too much of it, on my neck. I don't have time to get it cut, but I will have my eyebrows waxed this morning. Sometimes it feels as if my eyebrows are the last, perfect thing, an arch, a bridge, from there to here.
I've often wondered about that we-create-our-own-reality thing. I mean- who would create so many of the realities we have to live? I can see it on some level but not on others.
ReplyDeleteYou DO have beautiful eyebrows. Mine are about my worst feature and I'm not kidding you.
Whenever I start to ask questions like that, I remember the Tibetan Buddhist position that we choose these lives for a reason (lives, realities, whatever). That when we choose them, knowing full well what sorts of difficulties and challenges lie ahead, we do so from a place of transcendence. That we know which things we most need to work on in this life and, if we un-choose them for some reason in this life, we will simply leave them for some other incarnation to work out in another life. That said, I think it is perfectly reasonable to take a few days off now and then and focus on the arch of a brow or a particularly lovely piece of poetry. And then we can go back to being our benevolent selves who are working out something particularly painful so that our next self won't have to.
ReplyDeleteI don't know but attempting to know has lead me to this thought: Life happens. It is what it is. I don't have control over all that occurs - good and bad - in my life. Instead, my control lies in how I craft the lens through which I view my life. How am I at clear-seeing? Am I able to put my story down and let the world speak for itself? Or at the very least, can I craft and sane and peaceful story out of the events of my life? I don't know. But this is what I ponder. And when such thoughts feel overwhelming you are right, there is nothing more satisfying than a good eyebrow wax.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading The Dancing Wu Li Masters, which is a kind of lay-person's guide to Quantum Physics, and believe it or not, when I imagine myself standing far out on the edge of the universe (wherever and whatever that means), I really do get a kind of perspective on what we imagine reality to be, and even more amazing is that with this comes a kind of peace. It's hard to explain, and yesterday I sat with a friend for several hours discussing and arguing these questions, and I wondered where in the hell is it that I've landed?
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's like children with an imaginary friend. As real as anything else.
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