I'm getting up at 5:15 three mornings a week to take Henry to his baseball conditioning practice at his high school. We drive in the dark on wide, empty Los Angeles freeways, and on the way back I see the rosy fingered dawn, as Homer put it. This morning, I climbed back into bed and fell asleep for two more hours. When I woke, the Husband was getting Sophie ready for school, so I helped him out a bit and then sent them on their way to her school. Sophie is doing so well on this CBD tincture -- so well that I hesitate to jinx it by talking too much about it. Funny how that doesn't work in reverse -- if we talk enough about our misery, we think it'll somehow disappear. We rant and rave, let it out, let it out. The trick is to hold both, the gratitude and the misery and let them fly.
I love you. Thank you for saying that you went back to bed after taking Henry. Thank you for saying things that make me think. And while I have been holding my breath for you all with the tincture as well, I have decided it's time to let fly. I will throw my gratitude for this turn for the better out into the Universe with an enormous shout (no, really, I just scared the shit out of the dog with it) and spread my arms wide to welcome in more good, more good, more good for you all. May acknowledging the goodness and shining a light on it make it grow ever faster.
ReplyDeleteThe trick for me, is to write everything. That's how I've operated since I was four years old.
ReplyDeletexoxoxox
This makes me so very happy!
ReplyDeleteLet it fly. I am thinking today, such a relief to let things out. Just to say to somebody, "I'm worried." Thank God we're not wolves or something.
ReplyDeleteYou have spoken my heart here. I want to learn the embrace the good and let it fly, to trust it and face it square the same way I do with the challenges. I want to dance in the rosy fingered dawn for joy that the tincture it helping. Funny thing is, I knew it was because you weren't talking about it much. And also because Sophie in her pictures seems so much more present somehow, I can't explain it. But I am glad. And my being glad will not jinx it or make it go away. I am not so powerful. My love.
ReplyDeleteYes, there is wisdom here. And your children, Elizabeth. You are so good to them. Wonderful photograph.
ReplyDeleteWas soooo wondering how things were going for Sophie… thanks for risking "talking about it"…. She does look more aware and relaxed in the pictures you have photographed of her… so glad the roller coaster ride has slowed down for you….and hope that you are (secretly) enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteI try to do that. I try to let the good and the bad see the light of day. I think in my case that I'm far more scared to talk about the bad stuff. The...scary...stuff, if you will.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Angella- I, too, can see a difference in Sophie. It's not just a trick of the lens, either. And knowing that you are seeing that in real life- well. That's the best good news. Fresh fruit from Jesus, indeed.
A huge amen to letting them both fly!
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, I'm paying attention to this span of good health for Sophie. Praise the Lord, fruit and all!!!!
ReplyDeletei like that, "the gratitude and the misery and let them fly." thank you for that image. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThat is the best blog post title ever.
ReplyDeleteThis struck me: "The trick is to hold both, the gratitude and the misery and let them fly." Adore you!!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is also on cbd and I cannot believe what I am seeing. its like a miracle unfolding right before me and I am lest speechless.
ReplyDelete