We are having such crystal clear days here, cold and bright and wintry. We are getting rain, too, and earlier this evening there were reports of snow and hail in Malibu. I don't feel clear, though. I feel as if I'm moving around, doing stuff but only half-way, my mind divorced from my body, and I'm hard put to describe the dissociation. I've got the lines to the Band's "Whispering Pines" in my head, the if you find me in a gloom, or catch me in a dream, inside my lonely room, there is no in-between and whispering pines. Whispering. That's what it feels like. My mind and body, whispering. I had a dream the other night that I lay on a crowded city street with people crouched over me, around me. I was being administered some kind of intravenous fluids, yet I felt no pain nor panic but only this insistent loneliness exacerbated by the presence off-screen, off-dream, in one of those city towers of Carl's old girlfriend (!) who was somehow involved in the ministering to me. Yeah. I woke from this dream and felt it like a hangover for hours, the vague, unsettling head fatigue and nausea of it.
Whispering Pines is a song for old love, from an old love, long love, early love, lost love, gone love, forever love and lovers.
Loneliness.
Need, like an echo.
Echo.
An angel came today and did Reiki with Sophie.
The interpretation of Dreams can be fascinating. And Dreams themselves can be so complex. Glad to hear an Angel came to Minister to Sophie with Reiki. I hope you too feel better soon and that the deep emotions Calm some to where they are more tolerable.
ReplyDeleteOne of my old loves gave me that song.
ReplyDeleteWhat a gift.
As are you, Elizabeth.
What a beauty of a post. I'd never heard that song by The Band, despite the fact that I've heard a lot of their tunes before. Thanks for the introduction. :-)
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
Helluva post. Dream hangovers can be such rough mystery. Be well.
ReplyDeleteWalking through Jello, are you? It is such an odd feeling and will leave on its own accord. Strange dream, indeed. Glad you had an angel in the home. Hugs, Elizabeth.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting dream! I have songs like that, instantly evoking a sense of loss or loneliness because of past associations. I don't know that one, though. Have you ever seen the documentary about The Band? I don't remember what it's called but it made a big splash several years ago. "The Last Waltz," I believe.
ReplyDeleteI understand so well where you are, the melancholy, the not quite right, the loneliness that feels existential. It will pass of course, but you explore its corners so beautifully. As Mary says, you are a gift.
ReplyDeleteI hear you girl.
ReplyDelete