Saturday, July 10, 2010

Emotional Eating Be Damned

Chicken Apple Sausage in Hot Dog Bun with Spicy Mustard
Small Popcorn, no butter
Small Diet Coke
Chocolate Biscuit Bar from Trader Joe's

I sat between two gay couples by myself this afternoon and watched a movie about a lesbian couple with teenagers, living in Los Angeles. I loved the movie.

I left the movie and headed out into the sunshine. A girl with dyed red hair, black leather pants and a hot pink g-string that poked up out of the pants looked up from her phone and winked. I paid $2.00 for my parking and said thank you, have a nice day to the cashier in the parking booth and she replied, god willing. I felt tearful in the car and put on my sunglasses even though I was alone. The sun kept going into and out of the clouds but never stayed. I wondered what the hell I was doing. I pulled into the Trader Joe's parking lot and heard raised voices as I walked inside. An old man in a gold Cadillac persistently or should I say insistently kept backing his car out of a space despite the yells and then screams of shoppers. There was a bang, a small one and I kept walking inside. I picked up a gallon of milk and then returned it for a half gallon because Henry will be gone this week and no one else drinks as much milk. I bought one pound of butter, two pizzas, a bunch of bananas and a three-pack of paper towels. The cashier had eyes that appeared to be coming out of his small head and was exceedingly friendly. I removed my sunglasses and answered that yes I was having a very nice day. I remarked how few people were in the store and how that was unusual and he said that he thought so, too.

When I got home, the boys were still fighting and Sophie was humming. What's for dinner, they asked and when I said pizza, they said yay and ran out the door. I turned inside.

12 comments:

  1. i wish i had seen that movie with you.

    xo

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  2. "God willing ..." that's heavy

    ((hug))

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  3. God willing. Shades of my childhood, So from your lips to gods ears, you should eat the pizza., the bananas and use the paper towels. Life in the 21st century. Mazel tov.

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  4. I want to go to the movies. Instead I drank some homemade Meyer lemons lemonade, water plants, talked to the incredibly big tomatoes that only wanted a bit of sunshine to show their character and wonder what is blogger doing now. I really don't want to know but wonder about all the same. Thinking of you while making gazpacho for tonight's dinner.

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  5. Sometimes things are just off. Maybe there's a reason, maybe not. You hold up the world on your shoulders, I'm not surprised it gets to you sometimes.

    Good will come again.

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  6. I completely agree with Kathleen S. Some days are just like this.
    There's a thing that people say here when you check out, especially at Goodwill which is, "Have a blessed day." Sometimes I want to strangle them, sometimes I just thank them and go on.
    Pizza. Yes.

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  7. What a time you have had, Elizabeth. Emotional Eating or as Claire Benyon wrote just now in her comment on my blog 'the extraordinary in the ordinary'.

    As ever you write with such finesse.

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  8. elizabeth..
    i came home from such a long day. i read your post. your entry here deserved a long letter reply. each word cut straight to my heart.as much as i wanted to stop the world and offer you safe shelter and comfort i could not.

    i was completely over whelmed by physical pain from a long day of teaching after an equally long pain filled week..all i was capable of was taking you in my heart...offering you to a star filled night and the hope that for both of us sleep would release us
    from our suffering.
    i recognize the being in life, going through the motions as if we are in sync with the easy currents of the living.
    i wish i were not so far away. someone needs to walk through your door. look straight into your eyes and see you, in a way that makes it known to you that you are not invisible under all the weight of your life. then with the steady hands of caring needs to begin lifting each dark stone from your heart.
    right now, i am looking into your eyes. i am acknowledging the immensity of your daily life. i am seeing you. i am holding you in compassion. i am offering you my hand.

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  9. That "God willing," is freaking me out.

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  10. oh no1 Emotional eating rocks! Even though I am the only person that might think so, what with people being healthy and all that. Don't get me wrong, I am the queen of health, but on days when I have had little or no sleep for 3 or 4 nights, nothing beats a bag of crisps and a big slab of chocolate. But it has only worked since I refused feeling guilty about it.

    In the past I use to have a craving, then feel guilty about the craving, then eating a hole bunch of things bad for me and then feeling guilty about the unhealthiness, the weight gain, the lack of will-power. These days I let it go. If I am having a bad week, I deserve a pick me upper and having to work 8 hours a day, makes 'doing' anything almost impossible.

    So I have a delight, a wonderful luxury that I refuse to feel guilty about and savour with every bite. Not feeling guilty about it also makes this not become a habit.

    I love emotional eating.

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