Saturday, October 5, 2013
The Entrepreneur, Halloween, Christmas and The House of Crazy
If I told you the past week chez House of Crazy was crazy, it would be an understatement. Raymond Chandler and Santa Anas aside, between the Seizing Marijuana Chronicles and The Teenager and The Dyslexic Entrepreneur, I've been hard put to remain not just calm but even somewhat collected. I won't even go into The Husband. I've been wearing sunglasses all week to disguise my tears and have walked around the house whimpering when they're all at school. I've told you over and over that my Italian grandmother used to do so all day, whimper, sigh and mutter under her breath pray that I die, pray that I die. Last night I made a valiant and last ditch effort to cheer the Dyslexic Entrepreneur who had finished a horrific week of school that included about 5,321,789 emails back and forth to The Powers That Be at the school and the passing, Santa Ana-induced thought of homeschooling. He had just climbed into the car after baseball practice and begun another historic rant of negativity, how I suck at baseball and just about everything and how I'm just going to give it all up and be a giant loser, I'm really not supposed to be in this world, and while my eyes glazed over and my ears dripped blood, the tiny thought entered my mind, the valiant thought that I then actually voiced:
Why don't we go to Cost Plus World Market and get you some stuff for your lemonade stand?
If you're familiar with Los Angeles on Friday nights, and particularly with our local outdoor shopping mall called The Grove on Friday nights, you'd know just how outrageous this suggestion was -- how it was more the last ditch effort of a dying woman (pray that I die, pray that I die) than of a reasonable or even good enough mother. We went. We nearly killed ourselves wrestling a giant Exxon Valdeez SUV for a parking spot, and we walked the Christmas decorated clogged aisles (pray that I die, pray that I die) until The Dyslexic Entrepreneur decided that he'd use some of his earnings from last week's lemonade stand to buy a cotton candy maker for this week's stand. And given that I was dying, had contemplated buying some admittedly adorable silver-flecked Santa ornaments and wouldn't be spending the money myself, since the Dyslexic Entrepreneur has actually made about three times as much as it cost, I said yes.
What's really cool about the cotton candy maker is that you can throw candies in the top to flavor the sugar.In fact, that photo of The Dyslexic Entrepreneur was taken at about 10:00 this morning, and his product became his breakfast. In addition, we're going to start decorating for Christmas early this year at The House of Crazy by putting silver flecks on the pumpkins and draping spider-webs over the life-sized Santa Claus that's sitting on my porch, a "gift" from my parents. The weird thing is that I'm no longer praying to die but actually getting excited.
Reader, what are you doing?
Isn't that odd? I have a Christmas itch this year and not only do I normally despise Christmas it isn't even my religion! Not to mention I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS POOR IN MY LIFE. Well I have but I was 13. Nevertheless. Perhaps those winds have shifted north.
ReplyDeletexxoo
Oh my god I love this post and I love you. And the truth? Oliver has plum stolen my heart.
ReplyDeleteI am wondering why your grout has no mildew. That's about where I'm at today.
ReplyDeleteOliver is about the cutest durn boy in the world.
Elizabeth that made me smile and laugh and cry all at once! Here's hoping that the craziness starts to calm down along with the winds. And I love that cotton candy maker! I hope Oliver had another profitable day.
ReplyDeleteI am festooning my home with Halloween cheer and thinking about buying a cotton candy maker for my classroom.
ReplyDeleteAnd laughing out-loud at you and your Italian grandmother.
Love this post.... BTW, I am seriously jealous that you have a cost plus world market to peruse when your family is feeling down... (none hear in the east)
ReplyDeleteAm I supposed to be laughing at this post? I hope so. Through the tears (from laughter) that roll down my cheeks, my observation is that the entrepreneur is so darned cute it's probably o.k. if he doesn't want to go to school or anything else.
ReplyDeleteI celebrate your living with a glass of wine or two.
Best,
Bonnie
Oh dear, this was sad but hilarious. Book title: The Dyslexic Entrepreneur! What are the hours of operation this weekend of the lemonade/cupcake/cotton candy stand? If it's open tomorrow, I'm coming. Your son is a champion. It's the rest of us I'm worried about. Anon. Suz
ReplyDeleteNothing close to that exciting.
ReplyDeleteAt this moment? Pretty much just loving the hell out of you and O.
ReplyDeleteThat picture of Oliver is so sweet.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a good mom Elizabeth. Sweet Jo
ReplyDeleteElizabeth. You crack me up.
ReplyDeleteBravo for the entrepreneur! I can't quite wrap my head around the idea of doing ANYTHING for Christmas yet, but I applaud your growing enthusiasm. :) I'm also thinking about that Joan Didion quote about the Santa Anas and how they make everyone crazy.
ReplyDeleteMe? What am I doing? I am worrying about my son who is going to be 18 in February who seems totally lost. He is depressed and anxious. I can't get him to get off the couch. I am worrying that one day I am going to find him dead. I feel totally helpless. I can't even write about it in a post because it does not help. So I will write about it hear like a Post Secret.
ReplyDelete*here
ReplyDeleteOliver will not only survive, he will thrive.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I'm cleaning, cooking, baking and reorganizing. My middle daughter and he boyfriend are coming from Vancouver for Thanksgiving next weekend. We had a rocky relationship for awhile but it's much better now. When I'm stressed I clean and cook. I have a fridge full of meals for Katie plus I bought her food from Costco. I'm in full "Taking care of my kids mode".
And I had lunch with my son yesterday. He has learning disabilities as well. He didn't learn to read until he was eleven. He's now in college and loving it. He's taking business and we talked about pensions! My drug dealer son has put his past behind him. I'm thankful. He's happy. My children are happy, we survived.
So funny. I laughed the first time when you quoted your grandmother and then just kept laughing as the mantra continued. My middle child who also had school issues would have loved that cotton candy maker---let's see the final product.
ReplyDeletePraying
ReplyDeleteYou are a brave mom to go to Cost Plus on a Friday, but the results look good.
ReplyDeleteI spent much of the day driving "ferme a ferme" with a French friend. We made the best of our frustration at the lack of good signage and resulting need to change our plans for getting a farm lunch and had a lovely day.
Hang in there at that Crazy House. x0 N2
After your post I went to Cost Plus online and bought some curtains. Thank you for that. You should probably get a commission. P.S. I think every little thing is gonna to be alright.
ReplyDeleteI started homeschooling, really more unschooling the youngest 3 of my 6 children when i realized they would learn more out of school if i taught them NOTHING then they were learning attending one of the worst schools in the world. And I would feel so much better if I didn't have to spend so much time arguing (seemingly fruitlessly) with the authorities. They are now 26, 32, 36 and 38. I'm pretty sure my youngest, who hated school and school like stuff but finished the GED certification program at 16 in a few months.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing what happens when we let go and just put one foot in front of the other, even if we end up voicing crazy things like "let's go to Cost Plus." Sometimes you have to just ride that crazy train to see where it goes. Anything else feels like swimming upstream.
ReplyDeletei am smiling because i just read this.
ReplyDeletei need to go to your outdoor shopping mall!
ReplyDeleteon a more serious note, not sure if this would be of any help, but Renee wrote a long post full of resources and tips on dyslexia fairly recently (before summer?) - she homeschools, and her 11ish yo boy is dyslexic (and she's a most organized and thorough mom). here's her blog: http://fimby.tougas.net/
Have I said this before? Ayla and Oliver are spirit twins. Ayla isn't dyslexic but her dad is, and Indy seems to be not quite dyslexic but to have a brain wired like she is. Their brains just work differently. Their thought paths are not routed like ours. Anyway, I love Oliver. Ayla is always asking to start a lemonade stand and I don't let her. So what? We are both good mothers.
ReplyDeleteI love your inspiration - look at his smile in that photo! He is not a loser, and he does not suck - please tell him from me! Some of the most brilliant thinkers and inventors do not conform to the world's norms. I just watched a documentary about Steve Jobs, and wish I had written down what he said - it was to the effect that "everything you see in the world was made by people who are no more intelligent than you, so that means that you can create things that will change the world, too." I loved it - you might be able to find it on a PBS website. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI love everything about this post - but mostly Oliver's face. Can we be sisters?
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