|view from Willow Cottage|
I might be feeling a little cabin-crazy. I've been here now for sixteen days and will be leaving on day twenty-one. It is life-altering, to say the least. To be largely in solitude and free to write and read and walk and think for hours on end is far beyond luxury. I am grateful for the time, for the community of women that I've met and for the incredible "radical hospitality" given by the Hedgebrook staff. Sixteen days is enough time to wrestle with yourself, to hate and doubt and love yourself and then back again. I told a friend that I feel like I should be making amends to all those whom I've hurt or neglected or spoken unkindly to over the years. That being said, I know that I should also let go of those who have hurt, neglected or spoken unkindly to me. Does that make sense? I will try and be grateful for each of the days here until I leave and hopefully carry it with me in real life.
The beauty of emptying one's fridge every single day, of there being only what you need.
Yesterday, before I was hijacked by the moon slug, I was going to write about this plum tree that grows in the garden here. I've never seen so many plums on the tree, and that's even after the gardener has picked and filled an enormous metal mixing bowl with them and leaves it in the kitchen. The plums are small, but when I take a bite, I'm reminded of that scene in the movie The English Patient where the nurse, Hanna, bites a plum and mushes it in her mouth before feeding it to the horribly burned patient. It's incredibly erotic in the movie, but I'm not Juliette Binoche in an Italian villa, and there's no Ralph Fiennes lying naked and bandaged under a sheet. I do have to cover my mouth with a napkin, though, so the juice doesn't squirt everywhere.
Well, that was kind of erotic after all. Not the part about the moon slug.ReplyDelete
There's always the standing (naked or not) at the sink method of eating juicy fruit. When I had a big plum tree, I used to lounge in the branches and pick plums and eat them up there.ReplyDelete
Pure gorgeous goodness; eat and savor every bite, until you are sated, until it's time to go. Then you will go, nourished by the cumulative effect and strength of each day's filling - of peace, beauty, fellowship, hospitality, wrestling, inspiration and truth-telling. May these gifts carry you wherever you are led. XOReplyDelete
amazing the gifts of time and space produce. I'm happy for your solitude, your freedom, the simplicity of surroundings. The mind, well, that's another kettle of fish, isn't it? It bounces around inside of your skull.ReplyDelete
It's hard when people we've connected with leave, and I bet you're missing your babies. But five more days. May they be blessed in whatever way you most wish, and need. Love.ReplyDelete
Amazing how time alone without the demands of even feeding our selves allows us to move into our own interior. Keep going! x0 N2ReplyDelete
Beautiful, all that you said. Beautiful what N2 said "move into our own interior", a well deserved gift for you.ReplyDelete
They will continue, well deserved gifts.
I just got caught up with your posts.ReplyDelete
Wow girl. What an experience. Drink it in. And thanks for sharing a piece of it and a piece of you with us.
There are many layers to this experience, aren't there? Some are sweeter than others. Some are juicier. All are part of it. You are so generous to share.ReplyDelete
A bit of cabin-craziness is to be expected, I'm sure! You'll be ready to return home when the time comes, I'm sure, though you will also miss this experience. Enjoy those plums while you can! :)ReplyDelete
It is odd having so much time to think and reflect. The modern world doesn't often allow us solitude.ReplyDelete