Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Alchemy and Anxiety

I don't know about you, but I feel so weird these days, so out of sorts, so self-conscious and aware and filled with adrenaline and disgust and anger and -- should I go on? I miss blogging, too. I miss marking my days here and the casual way I'd throw out some thoughts and observations, a bit of poetry, a rant or two. I'm not tired of blogging or of blogs, either. I am preoccupied. I am so afraid of normalizing that POS running the country, the sycophants that support him, those that still maintain we must come together. Come together, my ass. I'm as overwhelmed as every other woman by the toppling of the patriarchy, too. When is the head dude, though, the Sexual Predator in Chief, going to get his due?

I'm baking a lot of cakes. I baked this one:

Coconut Cake with Coconut Buttercream

and I made five of these:

Apple Toffee Crunch Cake with Cinnamon Buttercream

I made about a million of these:

yeast dough rolled in cinnamon sugar

It came out like this:

Cinnamon Pull-Apart Bread with Caramel Glaze

Baking, unfortunately, does not alleviate the stress of the Repubs screwing us, over and over, now with their new tax plan which is really another version of their healthcare plan, which basically reinforces the direction the Disunited States of America is going which is a plutocracy. I want to say f*^k all of them, but I tire of cursing.

I also made the most killer cinnamon buttercream.

Butter, sugar, egg whites, cinnamon

Honestly, that stuff is nearly sexual. A silky sweet meringue that takes butter and transforms into something that melts on the tip of your tongue, just a trace.


I had my first paid gig at The Los Angeles Times on Saturday. Here's the link.



  1. Normalization isn’t something you are in danger of, don’t worry. :)

    I’m freaked out by all of it too. I think most rational people are.

  2. I agree with Kenneth Lilly. You are in no danger of normalizing this shit. But I hear you. Every day we sink lower in some ways. The speech to the code talkers was absolutely the depths of horror and cluelessness and inappropriateness and racism and disrespect and, and, and...
    And then the next day, the Muslim videos. It's all too much. Every day I wake up and think, why is that man still in the White House? What is it going to take to get rid of him? EVERY DAY. I am sure I am hardly alone in this.
    And then yes, the revealing of revered men to be sexual predators. It's almost as if our whole culture has taken a huge amount of laxatives (sorry to be crude) and the results may lead to a master cleanse but Lord have mercy- the process is beyond messy. Necessary? Oh yes. But not pleasant in the least.

    1. Why is this "man" still in the WH?
      Because he is the most useful puppet for the immoral minority, creating diversions and distractions while they devastate the social safety net to give their billionaire donors tax breaks, let tax-exempt churches get political, install incompetent family and friends in all the important positions, and so on.
      The terrible cesspit of sex assault scandals is being cleaned, but in the mean time look what's building up over there ....
      His puppetmasters will never let him leave the WH until they achieve their mass destruction of US society.

  3. The only thing I can liken it to is a raw, oozing wound. It is as though the scab has finally been pulled off and what many of us already knew was there (racism, misogyny, the rich wanting their money at any price...) is simply staring us in the face. The question is whether we can find a way to heal it or if we can just get used to staring at it. Unfortunately, those in power right now seem fine with it. I'm with you on the agitation.... The baking is gorgeous. Just gorgeous. XO

  4. Perverts are toppling because women are marching. Fewer smiles, no silence in the face of social injustice. Culture is changing, do not believe it is men - it is us, the women who watch, who work, and bake. Women, disheartened ones. Allons enfants, we march! Loved your article.

  5. YES! Every time I turn on the news I feel like I am watching some sort of alternate reality. How can ANY of news stations report on this stuff as if it is just another day? How can ANYONE think this behavior is anything approaching normal or acceptable? I fear for our country every single day.

  6. Yes, it is us, the women who watch, who work, who bake and bathe, who wipe and worry. Things are changing, slowly, slowly, some men are forced to check themselves, hopefully some shiver a little and wonder when their misdeeds will catch up with them. As for the Orange One, they say even his own party are disgusted with him. How long can he last? I loved your article, made me want to go there and shop, or start my own place. I hope they pay you enough for all that inspiration!

  7. Congrats on the paid gig, Loving the new flashback Holiday Header, a simply Adorable Nostalgic Moment! And Yes, I think we all are so very weary of 45 not being ousted and even more puzzled by the fact he still has such a staunch base of support, I can't fathom why unless lunacy has become endemic in this Country and half of the population is now afflicted? Your Cakes are mouth watering... I Miss all the Cakes and Confections my Dad used to make for us all during the Holidays.

  8. OK, I just wrote a really wonderful comment and then it DISAPPEARED and I just can't face doing it again.

    Suffice to say, I hear you. I feel the same way. And I wish I could bake like that.

    1. Oh, and congrats on the LA Times gig! Woo hoo!

  9. Congratulations! As for the rest of what is a shit show, women are the main reason it isn't being normalized although it is scary and draining, to say the least.

  10. Congrats on the LAT job. I haven't figured out how to get to it yet, that link doesn't work for me, but I will.
    Pastry chef's never loose that talent. And boy, is yours still there in spades! Apple Toffee Crunch Cake with Cinnamon still my heart. Can you get tired of cursing? Fuck, I didn't know that could happen.

  11. Perhaps this would be helpful:

  12. I'm wondering too about the head dude and his due and about how long this madness will continue.
    But your spectacular cakes took my breath away.
    And congratulations on the LA Times piece (link worked for me).

  13. Your cakes are magnificent! As for the POS in the white house i no longer worry about normalizing things because there is nothing remotely normal about what is transpiring. i am angry, outraged, and astounded all the time by how far afield things have gone. I knew it would be bad, but honestly, I could not have imagined this. I wonder all the time if this is real life. Am I dreaming? More like a national nightmare. Occasionally, I have to bring my attention back to a very small circle that is my life, so I can nurse my fury and get back out there and start making phone calls again. At the moment, phone calls is all I know how to do. I'm looking for a concrete opportunity to do more. And yes, it's hard to blog when one is so unsettled, and we are all unsettled. I miss your former dailiness here, but we do the best we can. I love you.

  14. Honey, I feel you. I think I put on 5 pounds just looking at your fab baking.

    Passage of the tax "reform" has me seriously freaked out. I mean, what's another 15 trillion? What does that even MEAN?

    They want us to shut up and be scared...and hate the perceived other. Well, it ain't gonna work. It's not gonna work for this woman anyway. Nu-uh.

    I do think that most men are dicks, except for the ones that aren't. And I love them. I love you, Milo.

    XXX Beth

  15. So glad I read this. You put into words just how I am feeling - and I loved the comments too. Even though it helped get us into this mess, I am so grateful for social media because sometimes the only thing that helps is realising I am not alone.

  16. Why is he still in office????? Is this country insane???????

  17. Great article in the Times. I wish I had your gift of writing.



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