Thursday, January 2, 2020

2020


This is my New Year's post.

On New Year's Day, Carl (aka The Bird Photographer) and I took Sophie to Solstice Canyon in Malibu because we read that it had an accessible path. It did have an accessible path, and the two of us took turns pushing Sophie up the steep grades, stopping every now and then to admire the yellow leaves, the bird calls and the grass-covered hills in the distance. I would have liked a view, but you had to do some serious, non-accessible climbing to see the Pacific, so Carl and I planned to come back another day. Afterward, we stopped at a fish shack restaurant on the PCH (that's Pacific Coast Highway for you non-Californians) and ate fried shrimp, grilled swordfish, grilled catfish, french fries, Cajun rice, coleslaw and salad. The restaurant was more "accessible" than accessible, so when we left, Carl had to make a path through the hordes of people waiting in line. He was helped by one guy who yelled out, "Watch your backs, folks! Coming through!" It must be the New Year kind of thing and all people filled with the resolutionary spirit because all the people parted, smiled, said encouraging things like No problem! How ya doing! Happy New Year! as we made our way through.

Here's the thing. It's been a hard year. It's been a hard decade. Hell, it's been a hard couple of decades.

But then there's now.

Who would have thought that on the first day of the year 2020 I would be divorced, walking a path with my daughter and a man with whom I've fallen deeply in love? Sophie's father -- my ex -- is devoted to Sophie, as she is to him, and I am grateful for that. I will say bluntly, though, that I had absolutely no expectation of finding happiness with anyone else. I had the usual post-fifty fears, both superficial and complex, but, frankly, the real concern was over who in their right mind would take up with someone whose life is a three-ring circus? There is baggage and then there's -- well -- baggage. I'm not saying Sophie is baggage, but the world of disability is not for the faint of heart. Sophie's made me who I am. Carl has a massive heart, and I am filled to bursting with gratitude.





14 comments:

  1. Gloriously life-affirming. Love is the best thing ever. xo

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  2. One can see the love in this photo! Wishing you a new year filled with love.

    Best,
    Bonnie

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  3. This really makes me happy and you know what I say? The ways part for love. (I just made that up, but it's good, right?).

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  4. Oh, Elizabeth! Who would have thought? It's a funny world and love is the most startling and unexpected light in it, whether that love is felt by us for a child, a lover, a place. Did any of us expect to feel the way we do about our children, our grandchildren? Did any of us truly think we'd find a person to love and be loved by who offers us a whole heart and gives us a safe place to offer our own?
    And yet, it happens.
    And thankfully so. Otherwise, none of this would be worth it.

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  5. I am so happy for you. I think not just that you're deserving of love and partnership, but that it would be a veritable *waste* if you didn't have it.
    I hope that things settle soon - I'm not sure if recent tumult was fresh divorce proceedings or a reawakened grievance, but I hope there's been some resolution and that some peace will follow.

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  6. Happy 2020 Elizabeth! Despite the Thing. Because of Love.
    Blessings on your household.

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  7. I am so happy to read this. May this new year bring you even more love and happiness.

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  8. No one deserves love more than you you are a lion
    Love
    Rebecca

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  9. You know how I feel.๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ

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  10. Thank goodness for Carl. And Sophie -- and ALL of you! I'm glad you made some new memories on your New Year's outing to Malibu. Here's to a great 2020!

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  11. I am grateful for Carl in your lives. A man who gets on with it alongside you. Happy new year to you all. May the next decade be, well, easier.

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  12. It is not for the faint of Heart, The Man took it on too when we Married and it takes a Special kind of Partner to be a willing Volunteer for Extreme Parenting... then he took on Extreme Grandparenting... the Gratefulness can't be adequately expressed, can it? I see the Love in that Image, I'm glad you and Carl have each other. It is Good that your Ex is deeply devoted to Sophie too, many exes aren't, even if their child(ren) don't have Special Needs. Divorce is never an easy Path, not during and not after, when Child(ren) are involved especially. The fact New Year holds so much Promise in our Imaginations, if nothing else, brights lightness to the Spirits of many... it has been a tough Year, few Years, Decades... for too many of us. Happy New Year Elizabeth... may your Path and Journey have many Memorable Positive Moments it it going forward!

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  13. Love is what its all about...Wishing you a good year!

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