Showing posts with label Sigrid Nunez. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sigrid Nunez. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

The Small of the Back

Some Venus

The folds of this ancient goddess' stomach. Her foot's low arch.



A memory:
When I hear the crunch of steps on gravel, outside the apartment, I know it's not him because he is so quiet. I lie there on the bed, wrapped in sheets, waiting. It is warm. The plastic blinds click together as the breeze runs through them. The word rustle. Later, his hand on the small of my back. A hand on the small of the back is a beautiful gesture. Resting there. On the small of the back. 





I wrote this down in my small blue leather notebook:

The new way to live: reading and reading and coming up to take a look around

I don't know if I heard that or thought it myself, but it's a good one.







I'm dipping into Toni Morrison's new book The Source of Self-Regard, and I've just begun Say Nothing by Patrick Radden Keefe. I'm finishing Sigrid Nunez' novel The Friend, and I've loved it. Sigrid was at Hedgebrook with me, finishing that book. She is a lovely person, someone I wish I knew better, especially after reading her book. It's curious and funny and sharp and original. I wish I could finish my book. Maybe I will later this month when I retreat to Mexico with the Bird Photographer. Immediately after I type that, I feel I need to explain. Explain how I can go to Mexico, explain how I can get away. Do I need to explain? I have a free place to stay, a generous gift from a dear friend. Sophie's father and Saint Mirtha will take care of her while I'm gone. I am determined to get away, to take respite when it is offered, by whatever means I can. Yet, I explain. We define ourselves by how much we can suffer, and who am I otherwise?







In other words, I'm reading and reading and coming up to take a look around.






Saturday, July 11, 2015

Hedgebrook, Day Seventeen

Andrew Wyeth-like scene of bird sanctuary
Deer Lagoon, Whidbey Island


The weather here is finally what I expected -- a gray blankety thing over the sky, enough nip in the air to build a fire in my little cottage stove. I'm going for a walk in the woods in a bit, up to a place called The Deep Dark Cedar Grove. The combination of piney woods and shadow and fairy tale wildlife with broad stretches of beach and blue herons and majestic snow-capped moutain backdrops to ocean is unlike any other landscape I've seen. The universe is abundant, and I'm grateful to be in it.

Last night, the new writers came. One of them is Sigrid Nunez, the novelist and former assistant, friend and roommate of the late Susan Sontag. Um, yes. Of course she didn't tell us that at dinner. I sat next to her and chatted politely with the new women. When one said her name was Sigrid, I said hello Ingrid and then she said, It's Sigrid and I said, Oh! I love that name, and the only one I know of is Sigrid Undset! We're a female group here at Hedgebrook, and we'd already discussed Pearl S. Buck and how she'd won the Nobel Prize. I was obsessed with Sigrid Undset in my twenties, read all of her books when I saw them languishing on a used bookstore shelf with the Nobel Prize sticker on them. What can I say? I have always been a nerdy girl, and a trilogy about medieval Norway was just up my alley. This Sigrid and I then spent a few minutes trying to recall the names of the few women who've won the Nobel Prize in Literature, and we only came up with six. I checked later, and there are actually thirteen. We talk about everything at the table, and not all of it is about Nobel prize winners. One of the writers, a young rising star poet, can sing all the verses to Beyonce songs, and one of the writers who left was a retired U.S. Air Force lieutenant colonel and speechwriter for the Defense Secretary of the U.S. of A. Hedgebrook is truly the most unpretentious place on the literary planet. The ages of the writers since I've been here range from the 20s to the early 70s, and we are black, white, lesbian, straight, famous, probably will be famous and oh so not famous. That being said, I have allowed myself to feel extremely intimidated at times which is just another excuse to stop doing the work, the writing, and shake slugs out of shells and lie naked on the bed, an emperor with no clothes staring foolishly at the ceiling.

Anyway. It's Saturday, and the whole day of solitude stretches ahead, so here's the rest of the story.

This Sigrid also told us about where she was teaching in the fall, and that's when my tiny little mother mindbegan its inexorable pursuit of who IS this woman, she's SOMEONE. My recollection files have been moved back into the dark recesses of my brain, though. In any case, I went on a walk after dinner with my mind still whirring and wondering who the heck this Sigrid was. Was it Paul Auster's wife? No, that was Siri Hustvedt. You know the drill. Maybe it was the midges who swarmed me on my walk, diverted me while the brain did its work, but Nunez came to mind somewhere on the way home, a tendril that I grabbed that was attached to Susan Sontag and then all the rest. I'm glad that I didn't realize who it was when I was sitting next to her at the dinner table because I would have fallen right out of my chair. OK! I'm not saying anything else (I can be a bit of a literary star fucker). The tiny print is figurative, ya'll. 






The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.  
Oscar Wilde





Thank you for your kind comments over the last couple of weeks -- I have little time to be online, so I haven't responded to any of them, but I really appreciate them. I want to reassure all those braver souls than I that the moon slug or snail that plopped out of the shell the other day was dead, dead, dead, so I couldn't have sent it back into the ocean. I'm generally not a squeamish person, either, but I have my limits. I actually love spiders, though, so here's a poem:





A Noiseless Patient Spider

A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch'd forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.

And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form'd, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.

Walt Whitman



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