Rolling around with Tolstoy

I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept even the simplest and most obvious of truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they have delighted in explaining to colleagues , which they have proudly taught to others and which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives.

Tolstoy

I love that quote -- have been rolling it round and round in my mouth (I wish I spoke Russian!) as I go about my day. It pertains to the growing debacle in Iraq, and it pertains to the federal re-scheduling of medical marijuana and it pertains to our recent discussion of special education and private/public schools. It pertains to my earlier lament about Sophie's summer school location and this article I read today about the biggest house in Los Angeles being built, a whopping 85,000 square feet, valued at $150 million dollars.

Roll it around, baby, roll it around.

And P.S. One of my seesters reminded me that it also pertains to the NRA and 2nd Amendmenters and their inane arguments against gun control.

Losing community

Bridge Studio: Jason Schmidt
via NY Times

Another good neighbor friend called me today to break the news that he's moving his family to Irvine. Their only child, a boy exactly Oliver's age, is one of several boys in our neighborhood whose families are either moving up and out into much bigger houses and fancier 'hoods or the opposite: simpler lives in smaller areas. This boy and the other boy live across the street and around the corner, and for the ten years we've lived in this house, our neighborhood has resembled Maybery of Andy Griffith more than a couple of residential streets in an enormous city.

I cried in the car in the parking lot of Trader Joe's when he told me. I cried because it means my boys won't have easy access to neighbors' houses -- the banging of doors as they come in and out -- the tribes on the trampolines and the wars in the front yards. Sure, new people will move in, but relationships take years, and most of these homes are small, starter ones -- I'd anticipate young couples with babies and toddlers moving in, not tweens and teen-agers. The trouble with living in this city -- for us -- is that we are not particularly upwardly mobile and most of the people around us are. People don't blink an eye at spending millions of dollars on homes and hundreds of thousands on private schools. They have the means to sequester themselves behind boxwood walls with pools and media rooms, and settle on sending their children to schools that are in distant neighborhoods. I'd venture to say that they don't live in neighborhoods but in beautiful houses on beautiful streets.

If they don't have the means, they have the sense to move out and beyond to where their lives could be simpler, easier on the foot, the planet and the pocket. I wish they wouldn't, but I understand their choices.

I'm wondering about all of this, feeling sad and not a little trapped. Even if I could afford it, I don't want a bigger house or a fancier neighborhood. I love my house and I love my neighborhood. I don't want my children to go to exclusive private schools in far-away neighborhoods and be surrounded by those who only know huge privilege.

 But I don't want to be left behind, either.

(I loved the photo above from this wonderful article.)

On my way to being darling and appSmitten

I posted the great Dorothy Parker's quote the other day:

Well, as you might guess from the looks of the blog, I have a few ads running here and there and I get the chance every now and then to plug some product or something or other that I actually like. Right now through BlogHer, I'm participating as an affiliate with a company called appSmitten which hand-selects the best apps out there for your iPhone, Android or iPad and sends you a newsletter with the recommendations directly to your inbox. I believe that finding good apps is sort of like finding a needle in a haystack (to use a trite expression), and I have to say that I'm impressed by this company and look forward to seeing what they're going to find for me. You can customize how you receive the recommendations, so you're not bombarded with information night and day. They even have recommendations for kids.

The best part about this?

If you sign up for the newsletter right HERE, I get compensated for it. That's right. I get $1 per new subscriber.

If a million of you subscribe, then you just know, I'll be the most darling person on the internet.