Thursday, January 19, 2012

Let's call it a day

Henry, Me and Sophie, 2001

The reason why I posted this photo is that it makes me happy. It's been a wildly interesting week, albeit draining. Not only did I get engaged in a discussion with a twenty-five year old on Huffpost over cognitively disabled individuals and whether or not they are persons, human or non-person humans, but on Facebook I also fell into the Trap That Leads Nowhere of debating the traditional western scientific model versus integrative care that has worked for our family. The latter discussion was actually good-natured (although it pained me to have to interact at one point with Vaccination Militant Paul Offitt) -- and I learned something, too, given another physician's sensitive responses. The one with the Woman Whose Only Credentials for Debate on Disabled Individuals Are An Undergraduate Degree in Philosophy/Bioethics and Being the Mother of One Two Year Old was almost nauseating at first and when all is said and done, I've relegated her comments to the dustbin, coming from someone either truly evil (superstition) or sociopathic in the vein of Nazis, racists and the like. The Facebook discussion and the Huffpost back and forth were neatly tied up by the doctor I was talking to on Facebook when I told him that I'd been engaged in a far more upsetting discussion about humans, persons, and nonhuman persons or nonperson humans. His response was Tell her you need to read her thesis in the original 1930s German before you can comment further. I checked LIKE on that and moved on. Gretchen, my real-life friend and fellow blogger commented on one of my posts with a quote of Elizabeth Taylor's character in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof:  I'm sorry. I could never keep my fingers off a sore. Don't you love that? I'm always going to be one who fingers the sores, opens my mouth and types furiously. But I'm also going to be one who says, you're right, I'm sorry or Thank you for opening my tiny, little mind. It makes me want to post a photo of the inimitable Liz as Maggie: 

So, yes -- back to the interesting albeit draining week. On Tuesday night, I drained my car's battery at the lacrosse field where I idiotically kept the ignition on for over two hours, charging my phone and reading while both boys practiced. On Wednesday, I went to our huge local outdoor mall to return some jeans that I'd bought for Oliver that he had determined were "uncool," and since I was talking on the phone (speaker) while looking for a parking space, parking and then walking to the Gap, I had absolutely NO IDEA where my car was parked. I walked up and down the aisles of three different levels of the lot, pressing my automatic lock thingamajig. Did you know that they beep through several floors? I finally found my car, but not before I had shed a few tears and wet my pants a tiny bit. I'm not kidding. And then, on the way out, when I fed my parking ticket into the little machine, followed by my credit card to pay the $3.00 charge, the machine spit my card out and it fell onto the floor. I was in one of those unattended lines, people were honking in line behind me, and I couldn't open the car door to retrieve my car because I was so close to the machine. Eventually, an attendant came to my rescue and while kind, he couldn't speak English so didn't understand that my card was under my car, had fallen and couldn't get up. He eventually understood, gave me my card and I scratched off, but I wet my pants a tiny bit more. I am not kidding.

So, the photo makes me happy because I love how happy I look. I am pregnant with Oliver in the shot; our family would soon become complete; I had no knowledge of the internet and still wore a beeper, carried cash and had no friends on Facebook. 


  1. Your Cat quote made me think of this Tim Minchin song which, while not really on topic is close enough that I thought I'd share it (well, fine, that's cuz it makes me giggle):

    If You Open Your Mind Too Much...

    Onward, I say!

  2. I believe a LARGE martini and some Poise Pads are in order.

  3. I wet my pants and lose my car all the time. Not necessarily at the same time.
    This was a wonderful post. I love to poke at sores too.
    God. Elizabeth Taylor. She was like Elvis- a beautiful, beautiful animal.

  4. Love the photo of the 3 of you, or 4 of you, should I say.Beautiful.

    I also love that you type furiously, about things that you are passionate about. Injustices and absurdities of this world, especially.

    Have 2 large Martinis and I will join you and I'll bring the Poise,because you know what my week has been like.

  5. I wish you could hear me laughing and see me smiling over this. It is a big accomplishment, achieved entirely by you and your marvelous wit. (I lose my car all the time, too.)

    Oh, and I loved the physician's line about 1930's Germany. Loved it.

  6. Elizabeth, I just started nursing school so am behind on reading my fav blogs--including yours! I did hear about the Amelia transplant news and have signed the petition but missed the Huffpost discussion and your posts on here. "non-person humans?!?!?!?!?" Don't get me started!!! ARGH!! Awful!!

    Also, sorry you had this rough day recently. I started back to college (career change in my 40s) a year ago in the fall taking my pre-reqs for nursing. I have actually done very well in my classes! BUT (and this is where I am going with all this! :-)), I don't know HOW MANY times I forget where I parked in the college lots!! How can I ace an A and P exam or a microbiology exam and then be wandering like a fool around the parking lot 5 minutes later?!?!??! ;-)

    Carrie T.

  7. You girl, do NOT have a "tiny, little mind" ! You have a beautiful mind. And I am constantly awestruck that you are able to put a spigot to it and let it flow forth the way you do.
    You teach, inspire and just basically make us feel so good that there is an "Elizabeth" out there like you.
    Gorgeous picture, just lovely !!

  8. Of YOU, that is....Liz looks nice too :)

  9. Holy crap, sounds a bit like my week...had the to- do on "non person humans" with said 25 year old via e-mail and an extended FB fiasco on MMR/ASD correlations, surprise on Paul Offit's book "Autism's False Prophets" with a few ASD kid's parents which started with the Wakefield debate.
    Three martinis, one valium and an internet blackout...don't wet my pants but always lose the car in parking lots. Can only get better....I think.

  10. I can't comment intelligently on the online disagreements, but I do adore that photo of your with your beautiful children, and the one of that Other Elizabeth as Maggie the Cat. Sending hugs to you from white and snowy WA.

  11. Please do call it a day. Hell, call it a week and get yourself to the nearest spa for a bit of pampering!

  12. Okay, it was simpler then. Good news/bad news. Your blog wasn't in the world then. And for purely selfish reasons, this cyber world works a bit better now that you are here writing in it.
    I hope this week is smooth. That your car comes when you call it, and that your teenager knows how cool you are. And that you feel like smiling now and then.

  13. I love that picture too - Henry was so little! Cute. And I would totally cast you as Maggie the Cat - you would rock the slip.

  14. Has anyone other than Elizabeth Taylor had violet eyes?
    I've heard there's an iPhone app for leading you to where you parked your car. I've had a swell week too---a raging infection in sinus or jaw, no one seems to know and the antibiotics are not working fast, and now Amelia's wheelchair has broken and no vendor/repair places will sell me a replacement bracket because in addition to her Blue Cross she has Medicare, which they all refuse to deal with. I'd cry and pee in my pants in protest but it would just make more laundry. Must be the planets, right? And that's a lovely picture, no wonder it makes you happy.

  15. Elizabeth...I have never met you in person but I know from what you write that you are one amazing woman. You are strong and full of compassion. You are fierce with your love of your family and all in all....I am in awe of you. Sometimes after I read one of your posts I find myself speechless /unable to write because I am so overwhelmed by your words.

    I am so grateful to have your blog to read. You have given me so much to think about.

  16. Oh love the photo of the three of you! So much sweetness and beauty... It makes me smile too. And I also love that you finger sores, open your mouth, type furiously and have hypersensitive sensors for BS and injustice. Now, how do I get into this Martini party?

  17. I love that photo.

    And I love that you lose your car in parking lots and pee in your pants,

    just a little.

    And then write about it.

  18. Take a break this weekend, Doll. Have a nice dinner and see a good movie. Sending love. N2

  19. This is how simple-minded I am most of the time. Or clueless if you prefer.

    I read all about the Internet arguments, being pregnant, the happiness, the wetting of the pants, the crying, the rough week, the Nazi joke, etc.

    And yet when I was finished I found myself dwelling on one question.

    'They have lacrosse on the West Coast?'

    This is why I am the King of Mediocrity, you know that right? :)

  20. Chuckling over Ken's comment above.

    I've had those weeks, Elizabeth. I've wet my pants a few times, too. I'm not kidding.

    Hugs and love to you! That picture of you and the kids is wonderful. As for the one of Liz, I think I have a girl crush. What a gorgeous woman!

  21. So three vaginal deliveries did that to you? it only took two for me.....Huff post i've already commented on over at heather's, The parking lot, lacrosse practice story is stupendous, however. I am a tough one to get to laugh while reading blogs, but I did smile broadly during the second half of your post - Kudos for getting to my serious nature. I will also thank you for the "education" Do not even think about stopping what you do - and did you really wear one of those beepers?

  22. Oh my heart, Elizabeth. I can only say that I had no idea how ignorant I was, about what life is like for you, for your beautiful daughter. I had no idea there were people out there willing to suggest that some of us are less human than others. The audacity must be enraging. All I can say is thank you for writing about it so that I can learn more, know more, do better. And I love that picture of you as well, and your beautiful children, and I wish you many more happy days in the sun together.

  23. That woman had a degree in BIOETHICS? That's even MORE discouraging.

    Elizabeth Taylor in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" looks so flawless that I'm sure she never even had a sore.

  24. I hate it when commenting on Facebook makes my heart race and my hands sweat - is "friendship" really like that? nobody knows how to just have a good yelling match anymore - it's all carefully typed. Can't imagine Maggie would go for that for very long at all.

  25. "So, the photo makes me happy because I love how happy I look. I am pregnant with Oliver in the shot; our family would soon become complete; I had no knowledge of the internet and still wore a beeper, carried cash and had no friends on Facebook."

    I can't help but wonder how much this contributed to the was simpler then wasn't it?



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