Friday, January 27, 2012

Surfing Friday - Things I Like

Moms are Solutionary Revolutionaries

Piano Music

What I Mean by Fake Work
What I Mean by Cheerful Pretending

What do you like? I'd love a discussion about the last two, if you're so inclined. Oh, and I've started my old food blog up, again.  Here's the link: How To Eat


  1. I visited Jennifer's extraordinary blog. She has such amazing things to say and she writes so well. It is heartening to think from new perspectives about things I suspect we already know to some extent but cannot yet put into words. Jennifer does it for us.

    Reading her second post listed here on 'cheerful pretending', I found myself thinking that one of the things I enjoy is daydreaming: I'm faced with a tough scenario and I start to imagine all sorts of wonderful and almost magical outcomes.

    When I was little and my teeth were rotten but I was terrified to visit a dentist for fear of the shame that might follow his first visit into my mouth. I used to imagine going into surgery, being anesthetized and waking up with false teeth, no pain no shame. Fortunately it did not happen like that. I had to go through the pain of that initial visit to the dentist but I'm sure my daydreams helped me in the buildup to getting the courage and the help I needed to get there.

    Thanks, Elizabeth.

  2. I have survived on cheerful pretending and hope to for a long time to come.

    I know I'm doing it. I know when others are doing it. It makes this world just a little easier to bear, and that is ok with me.

    I do have a problem with school aides being paid to do art projects, and then pretend they are Maggie's. Rather than than why not come up with a project that fits the kids and their abilities. It would not be fake work it would be real work.

    At least I don't have the maternal guilt that makes me want to keep some of the art project.

    As for the fake work, I have to agree. But there must be some standards imposed that we can use as points to measure the kids and the people who work with them. That said, I don't let them do any standardized tests on Maggie at all. Not even standardized tests for special needs kids, if that makes sense. She ain't standard.

  3. Thanks for inviting more dialogue Elizabeth! The comments I'm getting over on my blog are a reminder for me that we all have different ways of coping. For those who like the cheerful pretend: I'm not out to convert or convince anyone they're doing it wrong. Just offering my own opinions to those who might relate to my own dis-ease. Although I will say this: cheerful pretend might be a useful coping mechanism for the parent, but possibly (likely?) not contributing to the dignity or wholeness of the child. What does it imply, that a parent or caregiver must imagine the child is different in order to just get through a day...? How might it feel to be that child?

    Thanks again Elizabeth!


  4. Fake work and and cheerful pretending? Yup, a veteran of both. We had Adam evaluated by the university specialists, etc for eye gaze communication ... eyes to control a computer. The pros said that he was playing computer games, above 50% accuracy, he got it. I worked with him at home for weeks on what school and university said was working...fake, pretend and not cheerful. I knew that it was not real, but these people prey upon facilitated communication. Really a sore topic..

  5. "Moms are Solutionary Revolutionaries" true. There were many parts of the piece that resonated with me, like: "Moms are the ones who can grow the souls of our children."



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