Monday, February 3, 2014

The Anthem Bonfire Party



February 1, 2014

Dear Customer Service,

I have made repeated attempts to get in touch with you regarding my daughter, Sophie XXXX's  Anthem Blue Cross membership, but I have been unable to get through to a human for some time. I understand how busy you’ve been with changes because of the Affordable Care Act, and I am taking this opportunity to inform you that Sophie will no longer be a member as we have decided on a different and better health plan for her and for our family.

Please cancel Sophie XXXX's membership. Her ID number is XXXXXXXXX.

I will also take this time to let you know that our affiliation with Anthem Blue Cross has never been anything but a frustrating nightmare, that you have caused great anguish and stress for our family over the past decade and that we are beyond thrilled to be rid of you. I can only hope that your company will learn to be as ethical as you are profitable, but I imagine these are high hopes, indeed, and I don’t pretend that a small customer like ourselves will make much difference leaving your business.


Sincerely,



Elizabeth Aquino
at

14 comments:

  1. 37paddingtonFebruary 3, 2014 at 7:53 AM

    Good riddance!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Vesuvius At HomeFebruary 3, 2014 at 8:06 AM

    The worst. As Jay-Z said, get that dirt off your shoulder.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ms. MoonFebruary 3, 2014 at 8:20 AM

    Hell yes! That boulder is tossed off your shoulders and now you'll be able to fly freer into that beautiful blue sky of yours.

    ReplyDelete
  4. karioFebruary 3, 2014 at 8:26 AM

    Hallelujah! Although it would be so much more satisfying to know that someone who worked there gave a damn. It's hard when your feedback falls on deaf ears (assuming it ever makes it to the ears at all).

    ReplyDelete
  5. JillFebruary 3, 2014 at 8:58 AM

    Toss that cross into the fire!

    ReplyDelete
  6. jwgFebruary 3, 2014 at 1:10 PM

    Well done! You could have a nice little side business writing letters such as this for other people. It's a rare skill. I loved the "ethical as you are profitable" part.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jenny WoolfFebruary 3, 2014 at 3:08 PM

    And also, mustnt it be demoralising to work there too and know what a rubbish bad job you are devoting your life to? Some things are just bad through and through.

    ReplyDelete
  8. TheresaFebruary 3, 2014 at 3:12 PM

    Must feel good!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. TaraFebruary 3, 2014 at 5:39 PM

    congratulations! They may not pay attention, but we still need to say our piece.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousFebruary 3, 2014 at 6:43 PM

    Clapping. Hard. Loud.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Steve ReedFebruary 3, 2014 at 10:45 PM

    BURN BABY BURN!

    ReplyDelete
  12. My life so farFebruary 4, 2014 at 4:16 AM

    I find American health care and American health care insurance quite sickening. I looked up Anthem Blue Cross and the company of which it is a subsidiary, Wellpoint. 2.66 billion fucking dollars in net income in 2012. It's so nice to see that raping and pillaging hasn't gone out of style.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Alicia DFebruary 4, 2014 at 12:26 PM

    Greatest letter ever.

    ReplyDelete
  14. krlrFebruary 4, 2014 at 9:51 PM

    BWAHAHAHA!

    ReplyDelete