Friday, June 8, 2012

Favorite Jokes

via The Chuckle Book by Mel Crawford

I'm no joke teller, but there are a few that I've heard that keep me laughing. One is my favorite of all time, from a book I had as a child, and the other two were told to me by a fellow blogger. Here they are:

1. What goes HA HA PLOP? (Answer below)

2. A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

3. Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna fuck around?"

Answer to Number 1: A man laughing his head off.


  1. Perfect.

    And even though you didn't invite me to, I'm going to take this opportunity and do a comment post hijack and tell MY favorite joke (apologies in advance):

    Descartes walks into a bar. He sits down and starts chatting with another patron, eating the peanuts, but making no move to catch the bartender’s eye and order a drink.

    Finally after about 15 minutes the bartender has had enough of this, walks over to him and asks: “So buddy, are you going to drink something or what?”

    Descartes disengages from his conversation, turns to the bartender to answer, “I think not.”

    And promptly disappears.

  2. @ Varda...OMG that is HILARIOUS!!!!

  3. Jesus/St. Peter just made me laugh out loud.

  4. #3 is my favorite. I've heard it before but never tire of it.

  5. Ha! Thanks to you and Varda for the laughs. I love that snail joke.

  6. Wonderful jokes here, Elizabeth. I came looking for you as I've been away awhile. You've made me laugh.

  7. LMBO! how do you come up with the greatest most diverse posts every DAY?!?! you are my blogging idol :)

  8. I remember that snail joke.

    Also love Varda's joke.

    My favorite joke?

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    I was dead.



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