Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Passed out, even before getting out of bed


Oliver has begun a new regime of waking himself up in the morning, taking a shower, getting dressed and making his lunch all on his own. To give you a sense of why this is momentous -- and he has been doing this successfully, now, for more than a month -- before embarking on the regime, our mornings were so fraught with drama that they were operatic. That is not hyperbole: if I were to run away from home and disappear in the South Seas, it would be around 8:10 on a weekday, after I dropped the Brothers at school.

Anywho.

As I was saying, the new regime has also given Oliver a sense of success and accomplishment that I never could, seeing as I was shaking him sometimes violently to get out of bed, yelling at him to hurry up and force-feeding him breakfast.

That was hyperbole.

Part of the regime is coming into our bedroom and lying down next to me to "snuggle." Now, I know this isn't going to go on for very long, and it's technically not really snuggling. What happens is that Oliver lies down next to me, fully dressed with his hair combed neatly, and then we just chat. Yesterday morning, this is what he told me: Mom, you know when you're not lying down like this, you have a really cool face. I asked him what he meant. He said, Well, like the other day when you were wearing that pink shirt, and you walked by and I looked at your face and I couldn't believe it. I said, Couldn't believe what? He said, Well, I know you're my mom and I probably think you're beautiful like most boys do for their mothers, but there's something different about you, too. I think it doesn't have to do with being my mother. I was listening now, holding my breath. He continued. There's just something about your face that is alive and cool. Like you're realllllllly beautiful in a way. 

Reader, you know I told him thank you and that was the nicest thing that anyone has said to me in a long time. And Reader, just because he's the Big O -- the boy who turns twelve years old this Friday, the boy who drives me absolutely batty most of the time -- he also said this:

Mom, I kind of get why Dad picked you to be his wife. I mean, I'm just your son so it's not like THAT, but I think I'd be lucky if I grew up and met someone whose face was like yours.

Honestly, folks, if I weren't already lying down, I would have passed out.

29 comments:

  1. He is amazing. You are amazing. Thank you for sharing this, Elizabeth.

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  2. oh my god. what an angel. whatever he's eating for breakfast, i could think of a whole lot of people who need to be eating that.
    good on you, too, supermom!

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  3. HOLY CRAP! That was amazing and beautiful and it made me want to weep with loving Oliver and you, with your beautiful face, who has raised him.

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  4. That boy. And he's right about that face.

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  5. I love that so much I can't stand it. Not sure about the qualifier about "not lying down like this", but really, that's the sweetest thing. That boy loves his mama. And you do have a very cool face.

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  6. Oh my goodness. This made me smile and cry at the same time. That boy. He is REALLY something.

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  7. Could we just go ahead and arrange his marriage to my Lola today? I swear I'll pay a dowry if that's what it takes.

    What a lovely, lovely human he is. I was blown away enough by him getting himself up in the morning, but to come hang out and say such things to you - well, you have done an amazing job, m'dear. Your children are so fantastic.

    And, in case you hadn't figured it out, you absolutely deserve it. Yes, you do.

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  8. BE STILL MY HEART. You guys are killing me. What a wonder he is.

    Our mornings are sometimes operatic as well. But it's the afternoon pickup I truly dread.

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  9. Oh, he is so beautiful. Just like his mom.

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  10. BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
    Why American men should not marry American women

    http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com/

    I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

    I encourage ALL American men to NEVER MARRY American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

    A few more reasons to stay away from American women?

    -30 percent of American women take psychiatric drugs.
    -25 percent of women under the age of 30 have at least one STD.
    -85 percent of divorces in America are INITIATED by women, thus women are responsible for the vast majority of divorces.
    -70 percent of criminals in America were raised by single mothers, thus feminism is responsible for most crime in America.
    -60 percent of American women are fat, overweight, according to government statistics

    If you want to get married, find a nice foreign girl from Asia, or South America, or Russia/Eastern Europe. DO NOT MARRY AN AMERICAN WOMAN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!

    Give American women the husband they deserve- NONE!

    BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!

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  11. OK, I am anonymous too, but please don't class me with that other wackadoodle there. What a lovely thing for your son to say, just in time for Mother's day too. When boys are sweet, they are the sweetest thing ever!

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  12. What a great kid. You ARE beautiful!!

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  13. wow. wow and wow. how liberating for the both of you that he has moved into his new morning routine. he probably feels a great sense of pride about it.

    and that conversation.....you two are adorable and inspiring.

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  14. Well that just takes my breath away!

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  15. He is absolutely right and a real charmer, too! Happy Mother'sDay early.

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  16. What he said is one for the ages. Pull up this post if ever you're having a bad day. And also, my god, snuggle time!!! Yes!!!

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  17. And may I also say how impressed I am at Oliver's new morning routine? Remember we all said right here that you really won't need to worry about that lovely boy. Truly. (Swoon)

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  18. He's a poet like his Mom! What a sweet gift!

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  19. Emotional intelligence. O. has it. Lots of it.
    And hooray that things are going better for him. May it remain so.

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  20. Oliver, Oliver, Oliver. May you marry an American woman, just like your beautiful mama.

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  21. Oh you lucky woman. I get it. My 3rd is almost 12 and right now she has the same morning routine as your Oliver. Oh sure, they all love me--but for right now #3 is delivering what I need...probably because she's a young American woman...Maybe she and Oliver will meet someday...

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  22. Garlands of lilies for Oliver!

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  23. That's a really sweet story.

    As for your troll commenter, that has to be a joke. Has to be. That is just too outlandishly provocative to be real.

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  24. The troll comment is also going the rounds as an email. Nothing to do with the blog, just automated spamming.

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  25. Wow. That he has the words to express himself to you like that. That he realizes and recognizes true beauty. That. Well, I long for that from my teenage daughter. I can already picture her eyes rolling back somewhere far away. You're deserving of that (his words, not my daughter's eye roll). Bravo to both of you.

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  26. you are the luckiest gal in the world. oh, and about that spineless anonymous commenter? he has most definitely got a teeny weeny ...

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