Remembering When I Was a Bird
It is the province of mothers to preserve the myth that we are unburdened with our own problems. Placed in a circle of immunity, we carry only the crises of those we love. We mask our needs as the needs of others. If ever there was a story without a shadow, it would be this: that we as women exist in direct sunlight only.
When women were birds, we knew otherwise. We knew our greatest freedom was in taking flight at night, when we could steal the heavenly darkness for ourselves, navigating through the intelligence of stars and the constellations of our own making in the delight and terror of our uncertainty.
from Terry Tempest Williams' When Women Were Birds, Fifty-four Variations on Voice
Wow. Wow, wow, wow.
ReplyDeleteSo much there. And that's two paragraphs?
I know. It's kind of blowing my mind. That's in the first few pages! She wrote this book as a response to inheriting her mother's journals --- shelves of beautiful journals that were bequeathed to her by her dying mother who made her promise not to open them until after she'd died (at the age of 54!). When she opened them, they were ALL BLANK. I'm so excited to read this book --
DeleteWow. I'll need to read that a few times and try to call back the muscle memory of night flight. Wow is right.
ReplyDeleteSee above --
DeleteAnd yes, muscle memory. That might be the weird ache we feel at times.
That is fantastic. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! And that picture of you with your mom - just precious, so fragile.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for reminding me of this. I especially love the second paragraph in its entirety. We women know what it is to take flight at night. Happy Mother's Day, you strong and courageous mother, You! x0 N2
ReplyDeleteTerrific! And what a strange story about the journals.
ReplyDeleteLeave it to you to have the perfect quote. Happy Mother's Day! ox
ReplyDeleteI love that book. Although I do have to admit, that the part of the blank journals still drives me crazy -- I want to know what her mother was thinking, and there is no way to know ....
ReplyDeleteHappy Extreme Mothering Mother's Day to you!
ReplyDeleteFuck, I needed to read that. And now I am left with a major lump in my throat. Happy, happy Mother's Day to you, and happy birthday to Oliver. Love.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen this little video - http://narrative.ly/cheating-death/all-winter/
ReplyDeleteAbout a mother with a young daughter in Maine who has a severe seizure disorder and her use of cannabis.
- Karen
Thanks, Karen. That was a beautifully made short documentary. I will share it!
DeleteThat quote is lovely. Thank you for that this morning.
ReplyDeleteI am a sort of Terry Tempest Williams stalker. I live in some of the places she writes about and am familiar with her subject matter. To hear her speak is a spiritual experience. She embodies her words. But, I have a kind of funny story about this book. I attended a reading for this book and it was soul-filling as always (for me). A few days later my friend, who is an author, and I made a road trip to Missoula to attend another reading by a friend of hers. Kim Barnes (In the Kingdom of Men) and the wife of the poet Robert Wrigley. Afterwards they invited us to dinner and drinks with a whole gathering of authors. (I was star-struck) They were all so confident, and passionate and skilled at articulating argument. The subject of TTW and When Women Were Birds came up and one woman said -- To do that to a daughter (leave the journals empty) her mother must of been the most passive-aggressive bitch...
ReplyDeleteI haven't finished the book -- really only started it, and I admit to feeling dismay for TTW when I read the opening, and I wondered if she ever reflected on what it meant, how horrible it was --
DeleteI haven't finished the book -- really only started it, and I admit to feeling dismay for TTW when I read the opening, and I wondered if she ever reflected on what it meant, how horrible it was --
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