Today I learned that the beautiful man who works at Trader Joe's and also jump-ropes in the parking lot has been forbidden to do so. Not not work, but no jump-roping in the parking lot. I learned this when I pushed my cart to his register, as he scanned my items. I struck up a conversation. A melon, a bottle of wine, a spiral-sliced ham, a smile. How's the jump-roping? I asked. He looked up and smiled. Not allowed to do it anymore, he said. What? I restrained myself from shouting. Why? I know there are many of you Angelenos out there who know what I'm talking about, and if you're not an Angeleno, read between the lines.
Evidently customers had complained, so management told him that he couldn't jump-rope anymore.
Reader, I am crushed. I have been watching this guy jump-rope for the eighteen years that I've lived in Los Angeles and shopped at this particular Trader Joe's. I don't want to sound all creepy and middle-agey pathetic womany, but that beautiful man jumping rope in hot weather and cold was like a mirage in the desert of -- well -- everything. He was thrilling. Sexy. Water. An inspiration. A fantasy.
I can't imagine who would complain about him or why. I took it upon myself to tell him so and then -- thank God my boys were not with me because they might have died right there on the spot -- I told him how much I'd loved watching him jump-rope and how disappointed I can imagine many, many women were going to be to learn that he wouldn't be there anymore. Hell, I imagine there are many men who are going to be bummed, too. The Jump-Roper lifted my heavy bags into my cart and smiled and thanked me. I didn't tell him how much I'd looked forward to seeing him jump and how I was sustained by the pondering of what else he could do even as I hauled my bags out of my Sexy White Mazda and unbuckled my toddlers from their car-seats, glared at the SUVs in the compact spaces with their "W" stickers back in the day.
Cruel World, why?
Sigh.
Respectfully,
Elizabeth
I am so glad you told him that you have enjoyed watching him. See? I would have done the same thing and yes, my children would have died of embarrassment. Okay, Lily would have. The rest would probably have just laughed at me.
ReplyDeleteI feel a bit of grief myself over this. I've never seen him, of course, but I have imagined him from your descriptions. Made the world a better place.
Could you have had a word with the manager yourself?
Heck. My advocacy skills are sorely taxed at this point.
DeleteThe jump roper is the kind of person that makes you feel that life isn't all that bad. I crave seeing people like that and I probably would have cried as I told him how much that meant to me and that I would miss him dearly. I'm so glad you made him happy in knowing that he had brought joy.
ReplyDeleteI go to the managers at TJ's all the time, either to compliment or express concern, not that it changes anything, but they always seem to really listen...
I just don't have it in me to tell the managers of TJs that watching the guy jump-rope was actually kind of a turn-on. Shhhhhh.
DeleteToo bad when fear dominates. Why would people complain about him jumping rope? How weird. Before speaking with the manager, I would ask this gentleman if he would mind. Wouldn't want to get him in hot water.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I have no intention of speaking with the management! My mourning is private and now gone public!
DeleteI would sign a petition, if you could muster the energy to set one up... this is not ok :(
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell is wrong with people?
Also... maybe you should ask him out?
Like I told Ms. Moon, I have no energy to create a petition. I like the idea of asking him out. I've never noticed whether he's married or not.
DeleteWell, if he isn't ... maybe you should buy a jump rope?
DeleteOn our street we have The Singing Man, who, as he walks between his home (not too far away?) and the small church on the corner, sings - at VOLUME - mostly what I think of as songs of praise. I'm sure T. Joe's customers would feel a threat from that as well. I'm sorry the Jump Rope Man has stopped jumping. What is the matter with people (rhetorical)? We jump, and sing, for joy, do we not? xo
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of a Singing Man -- there's something so wonderfully familiar about these things that make Los Angeles not such a huge place, right?
DeleteBut why? How was his jumping rope affecting anyone? For the worse I mean.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea. Too titillating for some of the religious conservatives that live in our neighborhood?
DeleteWe ARE sisters! Feeling your loss today. Sucks.
ReplyDeleteHa Ha!
DeleteI also think you should start a petition. I am sure way more people want to see him jump roping than not.
ReplyDeleteI have absolutely no energy to start a petition but would certainly sign one if someone takes it up!
DeleteMore jumping of ropes. And public singing. And car dancing. More joy! More joy!
ReplyDeleteThe baby Jesus orders it!!!!!
More jumping of ropes. And public singing. And car dancing. More joy! More joy!
ReplyDeleteThe baby Jesus orders it!!!!!
I can't imagine why they would stop him. =(
ReplyDeleteWell, clearly all of us would have enjoyed watching this guy jump rope too. I wish we had folks doing things like that at my local haunts but no such luck. Who would have imagined that even in LA - that mecca of open mindedness - you'd have such stuffy neighbors?
ReplyDeletei'd write to trader joe's and tell them that you are not going to shop there anymore and neither are all your friends and readers. what a bunch of doofuses.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to start a petition or become a Pro-Jump-Rope activist, but you could certainly just let the managers know that you enjoyed the jump roping (no need to emphasize the fantasizing part) and you hope they reconsider. That's all. Also, if it doesn't work, I hope you find another object of "objectification." I myself, like a young guy in faded Levis. I'm always on the lookout. p.s. I'm happily married but life's too short not to enjoy public sexiness.
ReplyDeletewhat a curious world - I know, you say "cruel", but some human reactions are really puzzling. i'm trying to imagine the possible reasons of those who complained and, frankly, some people just have too much time on their hands and become cranky. where is the "don't worry be happy" attitude?! :)
ReplyDelete