Planetarium, Griffith Observatory Los Angeles |
This has been a difficult week, so after an unbloggable morning meeting and in lieu of weeping while driving around the shitty, I drove up to Griffith Park Observatory and bought two $7.00 tickets to two planetarium shows.
I lay back in my chair and listened to the program about water and the planets and the stars. We began at the bottom of the ocean, and when a blue whale's shadow swam over me, the tears leaked out of my eyes and then the stars came out, the constellations, the moon waxing and waning, the world spinning even as my body lay, stardust still --
During the second, Ptolemy's crystal sphere shattered into a bigger universe,
more stars
the galaxy,
something beyond.
Despair After Sadness
Despair is still servant to the violet and wild ongoings of bone. You, remember, are that which must be made servant only to salt, only to the watery acre that is the body of the beloved, only to the child leaning forward into the exhibit of birches the forest has made of bronze light and snow. Even as the day kneels forward, the oceans and strung garnets, too, kneel, they are all kneeling, the city, the goat, the lime tree and mother, the fearful doctor, kneeling. Don’t say it’s the beautiful I praise. I praise the human, gutted and rising.
Katie Ford
What a balm for the soul. The next time I'm losing my mind, I'm calling you for ideas of what to do. Brilliant.
ReplyDelete"I praise the human,
ReplyDeletegutted and rising."
Whoa. Yes. Beautiful.
I just spent my lunch at the art museum down the street for solace. That is a beautiful blue.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a fine poet. I like Katie Ford's poem too, especially the final lines.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry about the unbloggable.
I had a horrible weepy moment at work yesterday. And then last night the big guy drove me out into the country to see the harvest moon and I picked a fight with him and stormed off. The empty fields and moon helped calm me. Nature does that. She soothes the soul.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for shit in your life. I have moments/days of despair, when nothing good can ever happen. When the world is dark and cruel and hopeless. When things hurt so much I could die from the pain in my chest that is only an empty space that was once filled with love.
And so it goes. We carry on, carry our grief with us, our broken hearts and broken dreams, dragging along behind us.
Apparently I am still a little sad:)
I'm glad you took a break for yourself. Life ain't easy and we're among the lucky ones.
I'm Glad you sought the solace of something bigger, beautiful and a brief respite for your tired Soul.
ReplyDeletegood gawd, woman, how much can one person endure? I like your plan for respite, however. Like Bohemian says.
ReplyDeleteI love that heartbreaking description -- the whale shadow, the spinning universe, your tearful stillness.
ReplyDelete