Yesterday, I took Sophie to The Nice Dentist and then to The Nice Neurologist. On the way across the city from The Nice Dentist's office to The Nice Neurologist's office, I listened to The Public Radio and learned about The Trumplican vote to not call witnesses and while I sort of expected it, given Dear Leader and The Sycophants Who Follow Him, I felt sort of hopeless and depressed for a few minutes. This isn't accurate chronologically, but despair isn't either. I was looking out the window at the backs of cars and then into the rearview mirror at Sophie's pretty face and the radio kept talking and then there was a Muslim American who was talking about the vote and getting out the vote and how we can't stop hoping because, he reminded us, Frederick Douglass thought it was a country worth fighting for. Martin Luther King, too. And Malcolm X. So, the list goes on.
To despair is a luxury, in particular for a white person. For me, it's sort of dumb. Dumb.
Speechless.
When I walked down the coffin hall from The Nice Neurologist's office to the elevator and then out into the Pasadena Sunshine, I felt not a little despair. I felt like a dragon my tail The Past and my goddamn inability to Just Let It Go. No matter how many times I read about PTSD it doesn't stick. Back on the road I heard that Michael Bloomberg who is running to overthrow Dear Leader is spending several million dollars on an ad that will run during the Super Bowl on Sunday. Actually, I think The Newscaster said that a one minute ad during the Super Bowl costs $10,000,000 (Ten Million). I think The Ad features a fat, grotesque Dear Leader chasing after a golf ball or something and will be played in front of the several billion people who will also be entertained by Buffalo Wings, Mostly Black Men bashing their brains to oblivion and The Singer Known Fondly As JLo dancing her insured million dollar ass around during The Halftime Show.
What's there to despair about? What's dumb? (speechless)
Why don't these people spend millions on the sick or homeless and let the deeds go viral. Two birds, one stone.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this epic post your illuminating writing is much needed today I love you
ReplyDeleteRebecca
My grandson is standing on the floor beside me as I write this and I wonder what the world will be like for him. We just keep going because the alternative sucks. We need hope.
ReplyDeleteLook at the eyelashes on that pretty face!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't even know what to say anymore. I know what I feel and I have to admit that despair is part of that. A large part, in fact. And yes, I am in the luxurious position of being able to feel it. I think that whatever we feel is okay as long as we channel that feeling to do something positive. But I don't know. I truly don't, Elizabeth. I just know that we have to keep loving the ones we love, the things we love, and try as hard as we can to take care of those loves.
Which is what you do with all of your loving-hero-warrior soul.
This is stunning, so piercing in the juxtaposition of everything, the absurdity, even of despair. I sincerely believe that writing as you have here is a potent form of activism. We use the tools and the insights at hand. And oh, woman, mother of Sophie and Henry and Oliver, you have tools and insights. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI wake up happy every day to be alive and then I realize that this administration is actually killing people, killing the planet. I don't know where to go with that. I just get out into the street with a protest sign every chance I get. Sometimes that feels dumb. But mostly it doesn't. xo to you and Sophie and Henry and Oliver.
ReplyDeleteI share your despair, and your struggle against it. I worry that so many will give in to this despair and not show up to vote in November. That would be a monumental mistake and would hand the election to this POS on a silver platter. After the feelings of despair, we need to feel our anger and let it propel is onward. And of course, look at the sweet faces of our children.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Farce of a 'Trial', No Witnesses and No Evidence means the whole thing is a Joke because you couldn't convict anyone without Witnesses and Evidence submitted in ANY Trial. It's so like Mob tactics, being Retired from the D.A.'s Office our Gang/ROP Dept. used to have difficulty convicting Syndicated Crime Rings/Organized Crime because Witnesses would be intimidated not to Testify or simply 'disappear' or turn up Dead... and Evidence would be scarce for similar reasons... this Administration is run more like a Mafia and less like a true Democratic Leader should behave... and the really shocking thing is not 45... he is what he has always been and does what he has always done, no Surprises there... but what almost half of Amerikkka is willing to Support in the way of an Elected Leader no matter what he says and does. In fact, his rabid Base seems to sanction it all and try to justify it all... which speaks more of their own lack of a moral compass and basic humanity that it does of his actually. He's just running the Con Game he always has because it's always worked for him.
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