Tuesday, September 16, 2014

DIY EEG

Alley behind Trader Joe's, La Brea

After delivering the lecture to end all lectures about everything I do for you, realizing all the while that when it's over 100 degrees outside, we're all a little irritable and therefore maybe I should just shut up, I ran out of the house and into my sexy Mazda and made a run to Trader Joe's where I bought what they all godd**n needed, and when I was paying, the cashier picked up the dark chocolate bar with hazelnuts and suggested that next time I make a cup of coffee, I should drop in a square of that chocolate and stir it around. Do it yourself, Mocha! he winked and he smiled and I smiled and then I took the alley way home and snapped that photo of a seemingly abandoned wheelchair facing what looked to be an artfully decorated junkyard. For a split heatstroke second I considered lifting it into the back of my car and bringing it home. Velcro straps, I thought, maybe a good cleaning? and then I came to my senses and pulled over only to take a photo, noticed the elephant roaring behind it all, thought about elephants in the middle of rooms, the unbloggable, long memories. Earlier today I was talking to my friend Jenny who asked how the EEG went last week, and I told her that due to the usual clusterfuck of insurance issues, we had to put it off. I was supposed to call the insurance company yesterday and request that they make it an exception and put the provider in-network. I was supposed to call the nice person who read my blog the other day when I talked about this, who happens to work for an EEG company and perhaps could help me. I was supposed to do both those things, but I let Monday pass, given the heat because I just couldn't do it, didn't have the patience or strength.and I let today pass given the heat because I just couldn't do it, didn't have the patience or strength, so I told my friend Jenny that perhaps I should do the EEG myself!  I screamed, A DIY EEG! and we continued to laugh. So, there's plenty of laughter, albeit the heatstroke kind, delirium from being too hot, but not the right kind of hot, elephants in the middle of rooms, wheelchairs in alleys and do-it-yourself EEGs.

10 comments:

  1. You are the writer.
    And honestly- yes, it would be interesting to see what Sophie's EEG shows now that she's on the CBD but it is what it is.
    You will make those calls when you can. And trust me- I know this- when the temperature outside gets to be above what human temperature is, everything goes wacky.
    98.6.
    You've exceeded that for days. Expect insanity.
    Just don't stop writing.

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  2. Oh yeah. When it would get like that in Denver I would do absolutely nothing. In the evenings we'd pour vodka into those little cups of Italian ice you can get frozen in the grocery store.

    I feel like a how-to DIY EEG post would be a runaway success on Pinterest.

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  3. Where the f*ck is MacGyver when you need him? Seriously.

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  4. Way too hot for anything, especially anything serious, difficult and/or unpleasant. The 1,000-yard stare. And shrieking, hysterical laughter. xo

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  5. Meanwhile my late aunt has a super duper MacGyver wheelchair that I can't give away. It frustrates me no end. The senior center says they can't use it because it's used. Seems like there should be a place that refurbishes perfectly good wheelchairs.

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  6. I bet you've been party to enough EEGs that you COULD do one by now.

    Someone is going to come back for that wheelchair, surely...

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  7. Oh God. That heat. I was 30 miles inland yesterday where it was 103.There is no rational thinking in that kind of heat.
    I would have helped you put that wheelchair in the car. We would have driven away laughing. And sweating.

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  8. I am very jealous....it will be in the 50's here tomorrow. Getting too cold too early for my liking in our neck of the woods.

    An abandoned wheel chair and an elephant, who btw, represents removing obstacles. I would say this is a very auspicious sighting and perhaps a glimpse into the future? No more wheel chair perhaps or at least an improvement in mobility. Red and yellow are the first two colors of our chakras…..representing some kind of “awakening” that is taking place (you, Sophie?)….Also fyi….elephants are another “need to communicate” symbol….this is coming up a lot for you lately. Is there a need for you to speak frankly, in a calm and honest way with a few folks in your life? Tell 'em how you feel!

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  9. I'm embarrassed to tell you it's been positively delightful here in flyover country, where we usually swing from frigid to sultry. Just in case you find yourself near an airport. And my son has patched together a solar charger for his radio car so I'm sure he could fashion an EEG for you. He'll probably charge you about two milkshakes.

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