Tuesday, January 16, 2018


I sort of panicked when I logged in to the old blog and saw that I hadn't written a post in over a week. I don't know what's happening to me, but I'm finding it difficult to get the words down and out. I feel a sort of pressure to write well here -- to write something meaningful, to exercise the muscle for the offline writing, but that takes so much out of me. I used to come here and just gab on some days, and I kind of miss that. Do you? I feel that we have a whole lot of gab to deal with nearly every single moment in the clusterfuck that is our country right now. Why should I add to it?

Here's some gab: Henry was home for nearly a month and is already gone and back to college. It was wonderful to have him home and weird, to tell you the truth. It was like he never left. The fighting with his brother, the piles of clothes on his floor, the empty cereal bowls and crusty spoons left out, the boxers on the floor of the bathroom -- shall I go on? But left he did indeed -- back in August and now again, last week. I actually remember what that experience was like -- to leave for college and then to come home. To have your parents still -- your parents. I cringe at how I probably was insufferable then. Not that Henry was insufferable -- to the contrary. There's a certain amount of angst, though, that comes with the age. We live in weird times and seem so much closer to our children than we were with our own parents. At least I think.

In other news, I did a reading on Sunday with a couple of dear writer friends. We were part of Diane McDaniel's Backyard Literary Salon and read from works-in-progress. I had done a podcast with Diane a few months ago, and she invited the incomparable Chris Rice and Tanya Ward Goodman (who also did podcasts with Diane) to read, too, along with her own writing. We had a really great turn-out of about sixty people, got over our jitters and stood up there and rocked it. I think the others would agree that it was glorious. There's something awesome about expressing yourself in amazing company -- I felt galvanized to keep at it -- to finish up MGDB*.

I so rarely like to post photos of myself all alone, but the inimitable Carl Jackson, Bird Photographer Extraordinaire and love of my life (!) took these and I actually like them. I'm trying to shed some vanity in 2018 and get over my snaggle tooth, my chins and roundnesses. I'm trying to consume less and create more.

Hold me to it.

*My Goddamn Book


  1. I do miss your writing but I don't write as much either. It must have been lovely to have Henry home for a month. And the afternoon of reading looks wonderful, outdoors with green grass! Sigh.

    The photos of you are lovely. We are hard on ourselves. You look happy. I'm glad.

  2. You look beautiful. Radiant actually. I've observed this and thought this in my mind as I see pics on here and facebook where you have she'd your vanity :)

    I miss the gab posts from you. Any post from bloggers I follow is worth reading.

  3. Honey, you're beautiful. Just as you are.

  4. Gosh! Wish I could have been there. I'm in Arkansas. It was 0 when I woke up this morning. Ain't nothing happening in a back yard around here--though I keep seeing deer tracks. Let's get together somehow soon. P.S. I haven't been blogging much either.

  5. You can’t disappear for long - you/Sophie are my muse. And we live just far enough away to be too far...

  6. I can't write any more. I miss it too. Your photos are gorgeous, but then I think they always are!

  7. You are the essence of womanly beauty and don't you forget it! I love how the love of your life(!) captures you with the eyes of love.
    Yes! I miss your gab. As you know, I gab on myself. But I love gabby blogs. They give us a sense of not being alone in ways that are so sweet and comforting.
    I am so glad that our children are closer to us than we were with our parents. It is the joy of my life that this is true.

  8. Seems you have a following. I am one, I was wondering what you were up to because I saw a link I wondered if you and your peeps would be interested in. About writing for and by people with disabilities. https://www.aerogrammestudio.com/2018/01/17/literary-magazines-curated-by-and-for-people-with-disabilities/
    My boy is a Henry too, a living at home Community College boy. I cannot see your snaggle tooth. My daughter has one, it annoys me because I paid hundreds of dollars to align her teeth but she did not wear the retainer and the snaggle popped out. She likes how it defines her.

  9. So glad you enjoyed the visit from the Son who is away at College, it's always good to have Adult Children come Home and visit, it is like they never left. My Mom used to call it "The Gift Of Gab" and I agree, it is a Gift to be able to Share, either verbally or in writing, Life with others. If you miss it then perhaps you should pepper the Blog with some of it, I never think we have too much of Sharing of Life with one another. The Images your Love captured are so candid, I like them.

  10. Yup, you're radiant. Your reading looked wonderful and I'm so glad you checked in and posted Karl's pics. I was just staring at my blog page wondering when I might jump back in again, or why I can't get past draft. Too much life getting in the way of writing about it, maybe.
    Our daughter was home for a month and it was lovely but chaotic, as she changed schools which required way too much driving. I was happy for the time we had and all the cooking and hanging out we did, but also glad when I got my house back this week - only so much tripping over giant people's things I can handle. Hope your kiddies keep doing well and times stop feeling so strange for us all!

  11. Great post on it all: Henry, the angst, the crusty spoons, the gab, the writing, etc. I love photos of you because I think in addition to your physical beauty, I see the radiant you behind the skin and bones. But I understand, I have a similar round body that I am always cringing at in photos and I am trying in earnest to let that go! We have bodies that WORK and isn't that amazing? I'm so thankful for that. So much to celebrate and so much b.s. to leave behind.

  12. Pretty woman, snaggle tooth and all. I think I remember from another photo that Mr. Jackson has one too. What a sweet thing to have in common.
    I do miss your writing too. Not matter what you wrote about it was/is always so interesting. But whether I get it frequent or not, I hope it never goes away.
    And Henry? Look at those whiskers! I'm happy you both had each other, for yet another little while.

  13. Those pictures look great! And good luck with YGDB!

    Personally, I think there's value in "gabbing on," as you put it. I don't always come to blogland for deep and insightful (not that you're not providing that, too). Sometimes it's just nice to check in and see what's going on in another person's life.

    I'm glad college life is agreeing with Henry, as it evidently is.

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  15. Good to hear that you are inspired to finish your book!

    Sweet portrait of you and your son.

    You have reminded me that I try not to smile with my mouth open when photographed, and now I realize that in all the photographs of you that I've seen up to now that I can recall, you have smiled with your mouth closed. I wonder who told us that we had better smile with our mouths closed. Another lie uncovered!!! May we feel free to smile with all our hearts!

  16. Love that photo of you and your college boy, and love the photos of you in the garden. The man who took those photos clearly loves you, and sees your beauty. Such exciting goings on. It's a real milestone, the first time your college kid comes home from the holidays. It's all a little more real after that, we see that they're both still ours, but also more their own. If that makes sense. You, my dear, are radiant.



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