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| Jacob, wrestling with the angel, while viewed by Breton maidens Paul Gauguin |
Sometimes, after Sophie has a big seizure, and my back is aching from holding her and my lip is smarting from where her hand accidentally slapped it while jerking, I pray in a whisper to God. Please take these seizures from her. Make them stop. Give her -- and us -- peace. I don't feel better when I pray, though, because the thought crosses my mind that God might answer the prayer and take her from me. Perhaps that's why I endure.
Oh, Elizabeth.
ReplyDeleteI swear Jesus Himself could not love Sophie more than you. I think God knows better than to mess with such a lion-hearted mother.
ReplyDeleteNow if only our prayers for a cure could find some angel wings and start making a dent in the state of affairs regarding seizure disorders down here, i'll try really hard to stop shaking my fist at the sky.
Well, I would pray the same. I would fear the same. I am not sure I could endure.
ReplyDeleteWhat a heartbreaking post. Even at their worst, we want to hold onto our children. God will bless you for every backache and hurt lip you've had to endure.
ReplyDeleteoh dear. i gasped at that. no.
ReplyDeletei dont know this gauguin--it's perfect..isnt it.
xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI don't think the Universe (or God or the Divine, or whatever any of us wants to call it) is so cruel as to twist your prayer like a cranky genie in a bottle. I, too, will pray for you all to have peace.
ReplyDeleteLove.
Ack. This gets me.
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing with Ryley. I will pray that the seizures stop for Sophie too.
ReplyDeleteOh, Sophie. Oh, Elizabeth. Oh, god.
ReplyDeleteno, no, no! there must be peace, here, on this earth, now! i wish it were easier for you, and me, and all of us to reach it.
ReplyDeletesometimes i pray (and wonder) similar things...
ReplyDelete