I'm up too late, but I've been playing around with this post in my head all day, wondering whether and if I'd write it and how. Tomorrow is the big day -- I'm driving with Oliver to Tucson and dropping him off at the University of Arizona. I'm not exactly
dropping him off but will, of course, be helping him to move into his dorm and get settled and then perhaps I'll leave his dorm and give him a casual hug and a kiss and go straight to a realtor's office and rent myself an apartment nearby and WAIT! I don't want to live in Arizona because it's too far from the ocean, but I don't want my baby to leave home and yes, I'm excited for him, and he's ready for all of it and it's the way of the world and you have to let them fly and yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
I am sad.
I made the three of them pose together today for pictures. How did the entire summer go by without me taking a single picture of them all together?
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE TIME?
It's all good, right?
It's all good.
Yes, it's all Good... and he's turned into a Fine Young Man who is going to go on to Great things! And Sophie looks Sad too... I think she is Aware and tuned in to the Energy... of Sadness and yet Joy mingled... which when mixed together can be somewhat overwhelming and conflicting to take in, can't it?
ReplyDeleteIt's all good. He will do well. You will survive. You raised two fine young men. The fact that they can leave means you did good. That's how parenting works. Sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteOne of the first posts I read here whrn I discovered your blog was about Oliver selling lemonade by the roadside to raise funds for charity? pocket money? And I was so impressed. Still am. He will go far. Let him move on.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard but so very much worth it.
It IS all good, just hard.
ReplyDeleteThe last photo says so much about the deep level of trust that your children have in you and their love for you. These photos are quite moving in that I can feel both the sadness and the lovingkindness that is expressed. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe it. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteThis breath in.
This breath out.
You will cry. You will miss him. So much. I'm so proud of him I'm crying, too. Love that kid. You did good Mama. Your beautiful children.
ReplyDeleteOf course you're sad! How could you not be? But it's the way of the world, as you said, and you can be proud of who he's become. Who ALL of them have become.
ReplyDeleteYour children are amazing. But they come from an amazing mom. You will miss him like crazy, and the challenge of what to do without him there, with the time that will now "be free", but slowly and surely you will settle, I think. One day at a time....
ReplyDeleteAnd btw, HOW did he get old enough to go to collage? I remember him as so little and a sweetie pie. He's still that but a grown up one now. Can't believe this much time has gone by since I began reading about you and your family, that's amazing too. You can do this.
Yes, yes it is all good. And you drive back on Saturday? I will be in touch tmw and maybe we can arrange a rendezvous. And tell Oliver he always is welcome to stay with us if he needs to fly out of Phoenix or whatever. Tell him we have a new poodle puppy. (And I am extremely sorry it is so ungodly hot in Arizona right now.)
ReplyDeleteGosh, you have beautiful children.
ReplyDeleteThere you are, smiling. Sophie looks to be the embodiment of your pain here. I know it's hard. When my only left home I entertained fantasies of adopting a BABY! Eek! I got a dog instead. I'm so proud of your Oliver, right along with you.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love that last line.