I get wonderful emails every day from all sorts of interesting people. Today I learned that I am the recipient of the Matthew Arnold Award for "sweetness and light in creative writing." The email that announced this award was easily the most wonderful I've ever received, and I thought in this otherwise bleak old world, that you would find it amusing, uplifting and maybe even life-altering.
Here it is:
THE HOME OF LETTERS (INDIA)
a house of public relations
[Regd. under the Dept. of Hr. Edn., Govt. of India]
106, Santoshi Vihar, Meherpalli, Canal Road, Laxmisagar, P.O. - Budheswari,
Bhubaneswar - 751 006, Orissa, India
Dear Poet / Writer,
Greetings! Hope this letter finds you in a cheerful mood !
As well known to the intellectual world The Home of Letters (India) or
HOLI is engaged in literary, publishing and socio-cultural activities for
the cultural uplift of man. It acts like a platform to exchange sublime
ideas between the poets, writers, scholars and the intellectuals of the
world through its various publications, books, anthologies etc. It is a
House which organises small seminars from time to time (depending upon
finance) where poets, writers, scholars and the intellectuals discuss
various educational, literary and socio-cultural topics. It also awards
individuals for their high level achievement in personal or professional
life / for outstanding accomplishments in the literary, intellectual or
academic realm / for outstanding contribution to the fields of art, culture,
education and society / for their commendable contribution in promoting
world peace and universal brotherhood with humanitarian ideologies. Since
1997 HOLI has been playing a very significant role in the above fields.
You will be pleased to know that we
would like to confer upon you “MATTHEW ARNOLD AWARD" for sweetness and
light in creative writing.
The multi-colour certificate (20 X 14 inches in size) is beautifully
laminated on
WOOD and photo-framed (for
hanging on wall / for
placing on table or shelf), which will be sent to you by Regd. Airmail.
Your
name will be published in one of our publications in future.
If you are interested to receive this WOOD-LAMINATED citation you may
send USD 150 (as
administrative, processing, packing, postal charges etc.).
*Mode of* Payment : Bank Wire
Transfer (please ask for our SWIFT bank details)
[[Pl note that on my Facebook timeline there is a photo album: THE
HOME OF LETTERS (INDIA) in which we have published 2 lists (pl. click
on the 8th and 10th photos) of persons on whom HOLI conferred Awards
till date. More such lists will be published soon]]
If this letter hurts your sentiment in any way, please just ignore it.
Frankly speaking, the aim of this scheme is to encourage writers / scholars
/ intellectuals to contribute more in the above mentioned fields and to help
them prosper in their own personal career.
As we publish books you may also send mss. for publication in book form. If
interested, pl. ask for details.
Best wishes for your creative / academic / professional life !
Stay well ! Thank you !
Faithfully yours,
Dr. Mandal Bijoy Beg
(Founder-CEO)
I'm off to wire in my money and receive my laminated award. Reader, tell me what you're doing today.
*Note to New Readers. This is a Public Service Announcement (as my friend Rebecca says). I actually understand this to be a wild and crazy spam, but I give it an A for effort.
