Friday, January 3, 2014

Sending the treasure to hunt for it



Notice the lump with the pinecone, a slice of bread, and a leaf on it, the two boys standing over it. The lump is me, lying on my bed under blankets, not able to keep warm, feeling sick for the second day. Sophie must be coming down with something as well because she had one, two, three giant seizures this morning. I'd say good times, but that expression has grown so tired. The objects reverently laid on top of me, the lump under the blankets, were objects listed on a piece of paper with the title Treasure Hunt. In a moment of genius, when The Brothers had begun to drive me over the edge with their squabbling, I made the list and told them that I'd pay them $20 to get each item and each item needed to be acquired outside of our house.

$20 EACH? The Big O inquired.

I sighed and said no. 

$20 and a metal detector? he came back.

I sighed and said yes.

Here's the list:


  1. A straw from a restaurant
  2. A photo of a cat
  3. A leaf from a tree
  4. Something heart-shaped
  5. A piece of cement
  6. A coin
  7. A slice of bread
  8. A pinecone
  9. Something sparkly
  10. A Christmas-related item
  11. A yellow candle
  12. A recording of a dog barking
  13. A picture of a neighbor


They left and I congratulated myself on my cleverness, let the lump lie.





They returned, literally, about ten minutes later with every freaking object checked off. Now I'm a lump on  a bed under blankets with twenty less dollars and whatever it costs to buy a metal detector.

14 comments:

From the Kitchen said...

I respectfully add that you should have asked for a signature from a member of the do-nothing House of Representatives!
Hope you feel better soon--or, at least well enough to enjoy being sick.

Best,
Bonnie

kario said...

Damnit! When they work together it's always curtains for the parents. I suggest the next treasure hunt contain things that will make you feel better as they dote on you.

Here's hoping you feel better soon.

37paddington said...

Well, the treasure hunt was an inspired idea. At least they weren't squabbling. I hope you feel better soon. (Was the cement piece also laid on your bed?)

Radish King said...

I wish I'd known you when my son was young. I was lost as a single mother. I never had a good idea or any play dates nor did I know any other mothers or any other people to step in. 18 lumpish years. Oh Elizabeth you are a charm. I'm sorry you're sick.
xo

Ms. Moon said...

You have to make it harder: A feather from a seabird, the tail of a lizard, the tooth of a shark, the leftover pizza from a movie star's lunch. Etc.
Or just tell them to LEAVE YOU ALONE!
You are brilliant.

Helmet Girl said...

Get well soon.
On a family vacation we took with some friends years ago the kids were given a scavenger hunt with the promise of a surprise for the winner , The hardest thing to find was a perfectly round rock since we were at a sandy beach where there were no rocks and the driveway was made from that crushed shell stuff, well I found one eventually but I was accused of picking up a goat or rabbit berry, there weren't any goats! Well I tried to squish it so I could prove it wasn't a animal berry and I proved it was a rock... but I couldn't have the chocolates that was supposed to be the prize so I got some sort of hard candy that was in somebody's purse but I was glad I won! The Moms got the chocolate.

Sara said...

'Tis the season for the plague. So sorry you're down with what Jonah calls "the Itis."

We (uh, I) are big fans of treasure hunts here too. And a metal detector? These are boys after Jonah's heart.

Be well, you and Sophie.

Jill said...

Well the next treasure hunt must be more difficult! When I was in high school we participated in epic treasure hunts. One of my friend's had one each year on her birthday. Her dad was amazing with the items. The one I remember best was a walleye cheek. We live in Minnesota, so walleye are common fish. But the cheek! And it was the middle of winter. Can't wait to hear about the next hunt you plan for the boys!

Birdie said...

What the hell? It would take me about a week to gather all that stuff outside my house. Your kids are obviously superheroes.

Kira Gartner said...

So funny! I thought you were an absolute genius - until it took them only ten minutes. Now I think you are simply brilliant. I plan to try this myself.

Feel better!

Noan said...

You perform well under stress. I am very impressed. Here are a few ideas for your next scavenger hunt: a masseur whose services are covered by your health plan, a plate of truffle cheese sliced thinly, a new book and a nurse with a melodic voice to read it aloud to you, and a pint of basil lime sorbet. There, that should keep 'em busy for a bit. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Deana said...

I hope you feel better soon, and it hasn't hit Sophie too hard.

Mama D said...

Does this string of comments make anyone else think of the lyrics to Simon and Garfunkel's "Scarborough Fair?"

Francesca said...

i'm glad your boys make you smile :)

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