Monday, September 14, 2015

Blue Heaven, LA-Style, With A Series of Admissions



What was blue heaven to me, back in the day, was my years as a Tar Heel at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Blue heaven to Oliver, though, is Dodger Stadium. I went with him to a game tonight and admit that I had a great time. I used the hashtag motheroftheyearwhohatessports when I posted some pictures from the game. Oliver and Henry received a whole series of tickets from Uncle Tony last Christmas, all in the outfield section where there's an All You Can Eat theme.


Lila Downs sang the National Anthem, and I will admit to shedding tears.


I ate a Dodger dog with ketchup, spicy mustard and sweet relish. Although I'll maintain that they look nasty, I'll admit that they taste damn good.

I ate some tortilla chips and nacho cheese. I admit that I like this disgusting fake food.

I shared an ice-cream cookie sandwich with Oliver that cost $4,987,632 and was thankfully not in the all you can eat category. I admit that I really didn't need to eat it.

I drank a Diet Coke.

I did not drink beer although it looked tasty despite the plastic cups that I, admittedly, drank too much out of back in my blue heaven and thus feel a gentle snobbery toward --

The guy at the end of our row kept standing up and shouting insults at the opposing team's outfielder. When I expressed dismay, Oliver reassured me that they are "trained" to deal with the insults, that they don't care about it, and that they are making millions of dollars to stand out there so I shouldn't feel sorry for them. I admit that he had a point, so I texted with my friend Lisa a bit as a distraction.

One of the rookies is a guy that looked pretty darn cute, and when I asked Oliver who it was and said how cute he was, Oliver told me that he was twenty years old and that I was weird. Whatevs, as the youngsters say. I admit to a boy crush.

I have to wear my glasses for another ten days because I have some sort of inflammation under my eyelids. I can't believe that I wasn't picked to appear on the GLAM CAM, although the prospect of appearing on those giant cameras that hang in the LA skyline rivals the archetypal nightmare of walking down your middle school hallway nude. I admit to my vanity, particularly when it comes to glasses.




12 comments:

  1. Such fun! You two really know how to hang!

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  2. You ARE the mom of the year. I'm really glad you had fun on top of it all. And why is that nasty food so damn delicious?

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  3. I love that Oliver has such complete comebacks, as opposed to just snorting and rolling his eyes at you like my brothers did to our parents when they made comments. And I love that you will admit that he has a point. That said, I still get really uncomfortable when spectators trash talk the other players (although I will admit to sitting on my couch second-guessing the football coach of the team I'm rooting for when they do something that fails horribly).

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  4. Glam Cam? Is that a real thing?
    Al that food actually sounds so good.
    And I like your top!

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    Replies
    1. It IS a real thing. The stadium has two enormous screens with projections from around the stadium during the entire game. One of the gimmicky things they do is GLAM Cam -- it's ridiculous.

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  5. O don't know if I could hack all the noise, but boy the food sounds good - minus the sweet relish. How do you do that-eat sweet relish? You and Oliver are a great team at having fun!

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    1. Surely you know what sweet relish is? That green diced stuff in a jar? You plop it on the hotdog along with mustard and ketchup and diced onions. I love it all, except the onions.

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  6. Love this photo. Oliver looks stupefied.

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  7. Blue heaven. Yes, I know something about that.

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    Replies
    1. Your blue heaven is delusionary, of course.

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  8. Way back before I was the mother of an athlete and disdained sports, I used to have fun at Dodger Stadium because of the friends I was with. Sounds like you had excellent company too.

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  9. What a great article! You're an inspirational mum for sure! The menu looks great and sounds like an experience you guys will always remember! Thanks and keep up the great blog!

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