Friday, July 22, 2016

It's Hot

and it's about to get even hotter. The boys and I are leaving for Hilton Hell tomorrow morning. While I'm looking forward to seeing my family, I am not looking forward to the heat of South Carolina. It's toasty here in southern California, but I've become a weather wimp since I moved here nineteen years ago, and the southern humidity kills me. Despite the beauty of the east coast, I swear I have PTSD from the decade I spent dragging Sophie there once a year. I'm not going to belabor it as I have before, but suffice it to say that if I were an atheist, I was converted to one during one of those weeks. I hate to say it, but I'm just sayin'.

No offense to you liberal southerners, but I'm also dreading seeing the bumper stickers, the posters, the Confederate flags -- you know the rest. Yeah, I know we've got Drumpfers out here in Californee, but they generally stay hidden. Did you know that someone built a tiny wall around Drumpf's star on Hollywood Blvd? It was built by an artist named Plastic Jesus, and there are tiny American flags flying at each corner. I have actually never even seen a Drumpf bumper sticker in the wild. I might live in a bubble out here, but it's extra nice in an election year. I'm not certain if any of the people with whom I will be fraternizing  next week in South Carolina are voting for Drumpf, but I intend to stay slightly buzzed all week and not say a word. 

On a more pleasant note, rumor has it that California might organize and build a wall along its eastern border if Drumpf is actually elected. My friend Sylvia suggested that Jerry Brown can be the first President. Oregon and Washington can be included, which would solve the water problem. Since we're the sixth biggest economy in the world, I'm thinking it could work. Names floating around for the new country are: CalGone and CalExit. I'm thinking Calorewash.

What do ya'll think? Too much levity? Shall I be more serious?


  1. Won't change a thing for you to be serious. Spend as much time in the water as possible. No bumper stickers there.

  2. Ha! That's how I coped during my visit back to humid and right-wing Chanhassen... lots of good Minnesota beer. And yes, there were a few Trump signs including a "Democrats for Trump" next to my old house. Hang in there. <3

  3. Yes! Please bring Oregon and Washington, too, and don't let Drumpf have a travel visa to enter. I'm in. And fuck serious. Let's be irreverent.

    Have a lovely trip. Stay cool! Mimosas and iced tea in the shade?

  4. I just wrote a really long comment and it got erased! ARGH!

    Suffice to say I am with you on the bumper sticker thing, having just returned from Florida.

    Why does Drumpf even HAVE a star on the HWoF? I mean, I know you basically just pay for it, but doesn't someone decide who qualifies? Is it really enough to be a Reality TV star? Plastic Jesus is a great name for an artist.

    1. (When I say YOU pay for it, obviously I don't mean YOU -- I mean the honoree pays for his or her own star. As I understand it.)

  5. Just enjoy the family and if the discussion turns political, have another Margarita.


  6. I vote for Calorewash. It sounds like it could make me skinny! Good luck. Grid up your lions baby.

  7. I vote for Calorewash. It sounds like it could make me skinny! Good luck. Grid up your lions baby.

  8. Our own, not-small country, full of like-minded people and natural resources and ocean everywhere. Call it whatever you want. Thanks, I feel a bit more hopeful. Stay cool as you can. I was not designed for summer in the South, even less so at this age. Safe travels. xo

  9. Because I can I have totally stopped following American politics. It depresses me.

    I have had heatstroke (or was it heat exhaustion?) once in my life and it was when I was in California. I seriously thought I was going to die but couldn't go to emergency because I didn't have U.S. health coverage. I couldn't have gone anyway because I couldn't move because the migraine had me on the floor in dark room. Fun times. I have never really had the desire to go back. Maybe for your Books & Bakes.

  10. I'm in South Carolina and I was just commenting to my husband the other day on the scarcity of Trump yard signs at houses that always had Bush and McCain signs in years past. Then I heard Bill Maher talking about how lots of people who will vote for Trump aren't saying much about it. He said it's like someone who will f*ck you, but won't be seen in public with you. Lol!

    But in all seriousness, there are more liberals here than most people think. No, we're not the majority, but we're holding our own in a sea of nastiness and keeping the tiny little flame of reason alive.

    Enjoy your visit. I'm sorry to report that the heat is maybe worse than usual, bit being near the ocean always helps!

  11. Enjoy your family and stay near the ocean, always with a drink. You don't want to get dehydrated on bs ever.

  12. I would vote for CalGone. Enjoy your visit as best you can.

  13. Thanks for saying the things I felt when I moved from New York to Central Florida 2 1/2 years ago - such culture shock. I'm getting used to seeing Trump signs, strange little churches in shopping centers, and the preponderance of fried food, but I'll never get used to the confederate flags. Still there is a lot to be said for living someplace with such racial and political diversity. In my ultra hip, northeastern liberal enclave it seemed like everyone was white, from the same general background, and had the same politics. The homogeneity could be a bit oppressive. In the Greater Orlando area, where we live, there are people of all colors, and speaking other languages living in the same neighborhoods. My "superior" Yankee stereotypes and prejudices are being challenged daily as I interact with people who are different than me. I am glad of that. The South is complex and sometimes hard for me to understand, but it is also quite beautiful and just plain interesting. And like Jennifer indicated above, good people abound and liberals are everywhere. The humidity will kill you, though.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...