Monday, September 24, 2018

Musing on the World, Unfolding

I detest the masculine point of view. I am bored by his heroism, virtue and honour. I think the best these men can do is not to talk about themselves any more.

Virginia Woolf

For most of Sophie's life, my greatest fear was, of course, her death. The fear of death had the greatest of urgencies and propelled me in literally every single decision that I ever made concerning her. I don't know when that fear left me or when I became not so much accustomed to it, but rather looked upon it, the possibility of it, as just part of all of it. Part of living that is, part of fighting for someone's quality of life, that is. Death is just part of all of it. I can not know of Sophie's death until and if it happens, if ever, just as I could not know of Sophie's life until it happened. She grew inside of me, was a part of me and me her, yet still I did not know her life.

The word intimate. The word intimation.

Having some equanimity doesn't mean I am not consumed, some days, with fear and anxiety and such a strong sense of overwhelm that I hardly know how I am functioning.

But then it lifts.

I had never read the Woolf quote before today. She was, apparently, speaking of war in particular, but hell, it pertains to what's going on today as well.

Here's what I think (with full awareness of the irony in Woolf's admonition to not talk about themselves any more).

All of this cluster-fuckery (Kavanaugh, Trump, the Republican Judicial committee, KellyAnn Conway and the other women who support the authorities in power) is a painful part of a process -- an inexorable process that will lead to a better world, a world that we have not yet known, a patriarchy disintegrated and power not defined by sex. I think women are engaged in ways that the world has never seen -- engaged socially, sexually, politically, and personally.

I think men and women who do not get out of the way will be made irrelevant -- far more irrelevant than they imagine. It's exhausting and exhilarating. I think the unfolding is so stressful and induces so much anxiety because we are witness to it as it unfolds in real time. As humans we are perhaps incapable of grasping all of it, all of the suggestions of what will follow even as we are exhorted to notice and take in everything that technology throws at us.

I think we can only intimate what it might portend because we have never known a world with such intimations. 



  1. I keep thinking about when my yet unborn grandchildren interview me for their history class. I will talk for hours. We are living through it and those on the wrong side of it will be irrelevant, I agree.

  2. Beautifully stated, and I agree 1000%.

  3. Yes yes YES! I feel the same, and what is happening now takes up where the Women’s Movement left off, a necessary completion of what began, but, IMHO, never achieved completely what it needed to achieve.

    Thank you for this, and for everything you write. I don’t comment often, but I read always. You are a shining light, a bright star lighting the way.

  4. goddess, i hope so. The best thing I read today was the title of a NYT opinion piece by Jennifer Weiner: I Want To Burn the Frat House of America to the Ground. I'm feeling incendiary.

    1. I have felt this for decades, ever since my sister was held captive and raped repeatedly by 'brothers' in a frat house in California. I hate them all.

  5. I hope you are right. I hoped the Second Wave of Feminism would have had ushered in the enlightenment. But no.

    I do have hope for my daughter's generation: her women friends are strong and her men friends are decent human beings who see the benefits to equality.

    For those in Kavanaugh's generation it is hit and miss. And those in Grassely's generation, well, they are fucking hopeless.

  6. Profound Post in each Topic discussed. It's all so Deep isn't it? The Depth of it all sometimes leaves me feeling better that I don't have all the answers and will just have to patiently wait for what unfolds as it will.

  7. This is a profoundly hopeful post, and hopefully a prescient one. I, for one, believe every word. Thank you.

  8. Come senators, congressmen
    Please heed the call
    Don't stand in the doorway
    Don't block up the hall
    For he that gets hurt
    Will be he who has stalled
    There's a battle outside
    And it is ragin'
    It'll soon shake your windows
    And rattle your walls
    For the times they are a-changin’

  9. Some things are easy to remember. Some are easy to forget. Some things must be pushed to memory’s deep dark places if you want to survive. People question what you don't remember and confuse it with what you want to forget.

    We are all connected, as hard as that is fathom right now. We will all die. Meanwhile here we are detesting the way men try to control our bodies. Until I leave my body, I will fight that.

    Thank you for this post. I am in a state of overwhelm today and always relish your words.

  10. I had just written a long, careful comment and then the page reloaded and the whole thing was lost. UGH!

    I think you're right about the process. The fact that we're all even having these "Me Too" conversations shows that we've come a long way, as agonizing and painful as the struggle remains. The patriarchy IS dying -- every once in a while it just manages to choke itself back to life and wheeze a few more shallow breaths.



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