After My Sabbatical: Tiny Tidbits About My Last Job

I have not actually been on a sabbatical, although I wish that I had and I wish that I could return to somewhere, anywhere back to reading and writing and otherwise not taking part being part of this period in the world's general history, the triumph and toppling of materialism and stupidity the emperor with no clothes the professional sports world the cult of celebrity the impossibility of publishing the tyranny of the politically correct and most of all the rise of Bernie. I just do not feel the bern the burn the whatever it is you who do do. My younger sister worked as an intern for Bernie back in the last century or should I say millennium and every time I see the Bern or Bernie I think of what she heard every day for the duration of her internship and that was Jennifah! Get me a tuna on rye!

I was, am a Warren lover, and I don't understand why an energetic intelligent woman with many plans, a woman who's fought successfully against The Man the bankers the corrupt the plutocracy and has a history of sensitivity for the disabled for children for special education is losing has lost to two elderly men one who's nearly doddering who sat and railed against Anita Hill back in the day, his day when he should have done better and the other who screams more than talks who has visions and no realistic plans who had a heart attack quite recently and whose followers are legion but include easily IMHO as the kids say the same sort of dense folks who back the naked emperor in chief just from the other side of the proverbial coin. And if they're not those followers, the bros or whatever they're called, I suspect they're following him because it's cool to like someone so uncool.

I will very much support the Bern the Burn if he is the person who runs against the Piece of Shit.

I've thought about things to write in this space, ways to communicate and what to tell you, dear Reader and I come up short. I bought a green bra and panties the other day, the most lovely color green. I flew to Atlanta to visit my mother and my father, had a wonderful time hanging with them, realizing that I am so incredibly blessed to have parents who are truly parents. We don't see eye to eye on politics (they're best left unsaid) and their views are such that I've felt near despair over the last four years, especially, but somehow it didn't feel that way this visit and I'm not going to wonder why.

Buried deep within this post is a tidbit. A tiny tidbit. On one of my last days at the ultra-Orthodox Jewish girls' school where I worked (see previous post), there was some talk in the teachers' lounge about Trump, and Mitt Romney had just voted "Yes" to impeach the PieceofShitPresidentoftheDisunitedStates and I never, never, never talked about my politics in this place because there's no good in talking politics when Israel is part of the equation but I said I just didn't understand how anyone could support That Man and someone else said, "He loves Israel," and so I stood up and said, "I can't be involved in any conversation that supports That Man," and I walked out and into the office and sat down to do a little grading while I steamed. The thing is, Reader, at this school I was prevented from teaching anything that had anything that was suggestive of romance. I mean things like longing gazes in a Willa Cather's Song of the Lark. I mean suicide in Marilyn Robinson's transcendent Housekeeping. I mean the word hell in an article from The New York Times. I mean Nathaniel Hawthorne's rich allegorical short story Rappaccini's Daughter because it mentions The Garden of Evil. When I referenced the great Spanish architect Gaudi in a poem we were studying by a contemporary deaf poet named Raymond Antrobus and asked the students if they'd ever been to Barcelona and they said yes and I asked whether they'd seen the amazing cathedral and one girl said, What's a cathedral? and because I'd been teaching there for a year and a half, I knew there was a distinct possibility that a seventeen year old girl might not even know what a cathedral was, I told her. Then I was told We are not allowed to go into cathedrals, and I said, Oh. And this was later confirmed by one of the Powers That Be and still I said Oh when what I was thinking was that we are all screwed here in this world. Back to the office where I sat sweating and biting my sharp, sharp tongue that so desperately wanted, was trying with all its half-century honed might to scream:

You protect your daughters from reading Nathaniel Hawthorne and Willa Cather but support the Pussy-Grabber-In-Chief?

Reader, it's a good thing that I am no longer working at this school. I learned a lot there -- about intolerance, to tell you the truth, and about its masks. Given these girls' behavior in general -- which was, frankly, closer developmentally to those who've just entered adolescence than those leaving it for marriage and babies -- I can only surmise that their rituals, their blind belief system and oppressive rules and regulations regarding every single thing they wear, eat and do make them uniquely unable to live in the world, much less listen to their silly, old lefty progressive English teacher, Elizabeth Aquino.

Did I mention how stressful it was dealing with this school and these girls and the idea that there are legions of people out there preventing 17 and 18 year old females from reading Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own because it would just open the floodgates (one of the teachers actually said this to me) yet supporting a serial sexual assaulter and vile racist misogynist because he's been so good to Israel? Did I tell you about the Cup-o-Noodles girl last year? The sad thing is that I was so into my job last year.

Jennifah, get me a tuna on rye!



#VoteBlueNoMatterWho

WHOOOOOOO?

My Owl

And sometimes as much as we want to walk as far left as we can, we have to remember that some left is better than completely insane right. 

Mary Moon, from A Good Walk on a Pretty Day 

I wasn't much in the mood to vote the other day. I actually feel strangely (for me) dissociated from all political goings-on and certainly didn't much care whether Sanders or Clinton won the primary. I have felt much as my friend Andrew McElfresh's clever meme says:

Created by Andy McElfresh

I guess Bernie's "fuck you" to big money and his socialism probably most closely align with my values, but I'm okay with Hillary getting the big job and am not a little moved by the historic first woman president thing. Overall, though, I feel preoccupied by other stuff, and I guess that's okay, too. I have a 35th high school reunion coming up in the fall, and while I'm unable to make it back to Atlanta and feel disappointed about it, I'm also sort of relieved. I'm on this Facebook thread right now that is the first in what I imagine will be many to organize the event, and it led me to poke around a bit and read some of my former classmates Facebook pages. Mixed in there are some people who I will just say are mighty conservative, and their posts -- specifically about Trump and their support/admiration of/for him -- with enthusiastic comments from their friends -- made me nauseous. That anyone I grew up with, went to school with, chatted with, danced with, cheered with, sat next to or even liked can possibly support Trump as a human being and POTUS is just as unpalatable to me, I'm sure, as my views are to them, so it's probably a good idea to avoid any gatherings where there might be more than the usual numbers of Trump supporters than one might find in, say, Los Angeles.

Anyhoo.

I wish I could be wise like my totem animal up there whose head can swivel any which way, but I'm human and lean turn fall walk run to the left quite naturally. I was leaning toward Sanders because -- let's face it -- I'm a democratic socialist, but I'm all in for Clinton, now. I started this post with a quote from the inimitable Mary Moon whose post on the subject was just about perfect. You can read the rest of it here.

The Separation of State and Family: Notes on HRC, Feminism, Disability and Family

I haven't written too much about politics on the old blog of late, except for the occasional jab or rant and disbelief over Republican insanity. The main reason for that is the whole thing gives me agita. I also have no idea what's going on with them (the Repubs) and haven't even ventured to ask members of my own family what they're thinking and whom they might be voting for as Republicans because -- well -- I don't want to know. Separation of family and state, if you will.

 I'm undecided about whom I will vote for in the primary, although I lean quite firmly toward Sanders. The reasons why are numerous -- they have to do with his positions on equality, on medical marijuana, on healthcare and education -- and while I understand people's reservations about Sanders' ability to do what he proposes, I'm more inclined to feel, at the gut level, that HRC stands for almost exactly what I'm not. In other words,  I'm not convinced that HRC is the right woman for the job, but if she should win the nomination I will of course vote for her because -- well -- really. 

This morning I opened Facebook and read something by my brilliant friend Jeneva Burroughs Stone that I wanted to share in total with you. Jeneva is a polished advocate for the disabled, the mother of a disabled young man, a poet and non-fiction writer that has numerous degrees and public policy experience. She writes, as always, with the perfect combination of righteousness, knowledge and passion. You should know that we as mothers of the severely disabled speak for our children as well. I think Jeneva speaks for Robert, here, and I will echo her voice for Sophie, too.

As Jeneva told me privately: "I can't have equality if Robert doesn't have equality."

Let's discuss:

Two articles crossed my desktop this morning that remind me why I cannot vote for Hillary Clinton in the Maryland primary. Both concern HRC and Melinda Gates' efforts to promote microfinance and close the time gap in unpaid labor--for third world women. Certainly, these efforts are admirable; however, only one of the articles pointed out the obvious--that while these efforts attempt to raise the ceiling for women, the Clinton welfare reform package, by shifting welfare to the states, removed the floor for American women. We are now "free" apparently, to fall as low as the states will let us.

I include myself because caregivers are also caught up in this mess of Medicaid waiver and state program block grant madness. Caregivers across the U.S. (mostly women who care for disabled and/or ill family members) face an ENORMOUS unpaid time gap. Many of us cannot work at the jobs for which we were trained, nor can most of us work full-time because we spend anywhere from 6 to 16 hours per day in unpaid caregiving activities.

Closing institutions is a great idea; however, no state offers 24 hour care at home, even for individuals who require 24 hour care, thus shifting unpaid labor mostly to female parents. When I talk about "caregiving," I'm not talking about "parenting." Those are two different things. It would be fabulous if I actually had more time to be Robert's parent, as opposed to his caregiver. Caregiving involves hands-on personal and medical care, as well as the reams of paperwork, emails, phone calls and accountability tasks required to coordinate the various programs that serve any person with disabilities. In addition, there are significant time burdens associated with accessing treatments, maintaining prescriptions, communicating with multiple physician offices, etc.

And I don't want a "program" that pays me to do this, unless that program is willing to compensate me at the wage I would earn for doing work for which I am trained, which is about 10 times minimum wage, and 3-4 times the current wage for a home health aide. Otherwise, we're looking at a wage gap on top of a time gap. And don't get me started on the fact that the caregiving support I DO have is primarily from female workers who are paid very little for skilled labor. Yes, I live in a state that's willing to supplement the pay of construction workers by an enormous amount, but won't pay a female LPN a reasonable wage. More comparisons--yes, I rent an office to get away from the house and get some work done. Is it a luxury? Maybe. But my rent is $440 per month. At a minimum cost of $50/hour, I would be able to purchase less than 30 additional minutes of nursing care per workweek day with the same funds.

HRC and Melinda Gates seem willfully ignorant of the problems working-class & poor women, as well as female caregivers face in terms of the unpaid labor gap. More "programs," especially at the state level, are not the solution. We don't want "help." We want equality. We want government and society to recognize a civil commitment to all citizens to reduce inequality. As one journalist pointed out--the Gates Foundation wants to pay for cell phones for women in third world countries, but who's paying for cell phones for poor women in this country? Who pays for long-term caregiving in this country? And who's paying for it in third world countries?

Warning: Political Post/Rant

You might as well click OFF if you hate politics, if you think I'm a crazy, unpatriotic communist or if you're a relative that disagrees because I'm not going to engage you directly. That said, here goes:


I agree with Bernie Sanders, the estimable senator from Vermont, when he says:

Our right-wing friends in the House of Representatives have given us an option. What they have said is end Medicare as we know it and force elderly people, many of whom don't have the money, to pay substantially more for their health care. So when you're 70 under their plan and you get sick and you don't have a whole lot of income, we don't know what happens to you. They forget to tell us that if their plan was passed you're going to have to pay a heck of a lot more for the prescription drugs you're getting today. They we're going to throw millions of kids off health insurance. If your mom or dad is in a nursing home and that nursing home bill is paid significantly by Medicaid and Medicaid isn't paying anymore, they forgot to tell us what happens to your mom or dad in that nursing home. What happens?

And what happens today if you are unemployed and you're not able to get unemployment extension? What happens if you are a middle-class family desperately trying to send their kids to college and you make savage cuts to Pell grants and you can't go to college? What does it mean for the nation if we are not bringing forth young people that have the education that they need? They forgot to tell us that. And if you are one of the growing number of senior citizens in this country who are going hungry, they want to cut nutrition programs. And on and on it goes. Every program that has any significance to working families, the sick, the elderly, the children, the poor, they are going to cut in the midst of a recession when real unemployment is already at 15 percent and the middle class is disappearing and poverty is increasing. That's their idea.

Shouldn't the wealthiest Americans and the most profitable corporations contribute to deficit reduction rather than just the elderly and the sick and working families? They say no. They're going to defend the richest people in this country -- millionaires and billionaires -- and make sure they don't pay a nickel more in taxes. We're going to make sure there is no tax reform so we can continue to lose $100 billion every single year because wealthy people and corporations stash their money in tax havens in the Cayman Islands or Bermuda, and that's just fine. We'll protect those tax breaks while we savage programs for working families.

Those are the choices that our right-wing Republican friends are giving us. Default with horrendous economic consequences for working families in this country and for the entire global economy or massive cuts to programs that working families desperately need.

via Huffington Post

I might add to Mr. Sanders' comments, too, that these cuts also affect the DISABLED, children and adults like Sophie, my daughter, and those who have far greater problems than hers or ours. In fact, government programs for the disabled have already been cut drastically all around the country in many, many states ALREADY because these people HAVE NO VOICE. 

Is Bernie posturing? Is it all politics? Well, I'm a middle class sort of person with a disabled child. I can't go out and get a job because I can't afford childcare for my sixteen year old daughter who is severely disabled.  I cobble together piecemeal jobs and work from home as I can. The Husband works twelve to eighteen hours a day in his own small business nearly seven days a week. We send our children to public schools because we can't afford otherwise and because we like to support equity in education. We pay for private health insurance and have seen the rates TRIPLE in the last three years. Every single "service" that Sophie received -- state and federal - has been eliminated or cut drastically in the last three years. I read stories almost daily about grotesque atrocities and hideous care in institutional settings for persons like Sophie and don't seriously consider it as an option for our family to place her in one. 


I know that millions, if not billions of people live vastly different lives than our own as Americans and that we are, for the most part, a spoiled, lazy people prone to demanding entitlement and the ever-ephemeral happiness, but for god's sake, we are also a country with more wealth than has ever been seen on the face of the earth. One quarter of children in the country should not be living in poverty when one basketball player signs a $55 million dollar contract or one actress pulls in $1 million per episode. That seventy year old grandmother should not be forced to decide between medication or food when my neighbors and friends spend nearly $80,000 a year to send their children to private schools.

I do not know what the answer is other than to exercise my right as an American citizen to not just rant and rave but to vote for representatives that will work toward justice and equality. It appears that we're all getting what we voted for -- a bunch of politicians in Congress who have been bought by wealthy Americans and corporations hell bent on protecting their obscene salaries and misguided notions of what liberty, freedom and justice really are.

Heartless on Heart Day

A Great Depression Soup Line

Are you as confused as I am when you hear about Republican efforts to privatize Social Security? Periodically, I get those little notices in the mail that tell me how much money I will receive when I retire, based on how much I've earned so far. When I look at the amount, I sigh and file the paper away, hoping that one day I'll be able to work more -- which brings me to Sophie, the reason, however worthy, that I am unable to make a more solid contribution to our family's livelihood. Many of us who care for our children with special healthcare needs can't properly enter the workforce and use our education and skills because of the difficulties of finding proper childcare, the expense and quality of that care and/or the instability of our children's medical situations. We navigate all the complex systems of care and file papers and negotiate services only to eventually face catastrophic cuts in these services in the name of "balanced budgets" or, worse, "freedom from government," as the hated (and, yes, I do hate them and know that I've lost readers here because of my stated strong feelings against tea partiers) Tea Party and its supporters call it. As a disabled person, Sophie will qualify for Social Security benefits at eighteen. She currently receives in-home supportive services that enable her to be cared for at home as opposed to an institution, like she might have been many years before we, as a country were enlightened by the notion that it is civilized to care for our most vulnerable citizens, the elderly, the sick, the disabled.

Many of these social safety nets are being decimated, their necessity and humanity all but stifled under rhetoric, fear and political bullshit. And while I understand there is much graft, corruption and misuse of government funds, I firmly believe we can root that out without cutting these programs. Bernie Sanders, the great independent senator from Vermont wrote a beautiful, informative op-Ed piece in today's Los Angeles Times about Social Security that I hope you'll take the time to read, even if you are a tea partier.