Pretty sunsets, mall Targets and dynasties of ducks

I spent last night at a godforsaken mall Target that I'd never before visited. Henry has begun winter lacrosse, and what better time to have practice on the other side of town than the week before Christmas? I thought I'd kill the proverbial birds with one stone, drop him off and do some party shopping. When Oliver and I took an elevator from a teeming, Christmas jingly mall up to The Target, we faced hordes -- literally hordes -- of shoppers, but we were already committed and plunged right in. At one point, as Oliver chattered on, I wished I'd drop dead. Hyperbole aside, I'm done. Done with the whole Christmas shebang.

You?

Oh, and I have to just get it out of my system, but did ya'll see the Duck Dynasty clan's pathetic response to the A&E controversy? It'll make your skin crawl, unless you're a God-fearing evangelical and then you can just feel all smug and good about your own clan. I regret ever putting money into those people's pockets by laughing at their bullshit. Hopefully, the rapture happens soon and takes them all away so we can continue smoking on the infernal coals of hell. Or in Target Malls.

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Oliver, still looking a bit peaked from his flu

Oliver woke up again this morning at about 5:00 am, hacking away. To his credit, though, he didn't wake his brother by turning on the light and instead used his flashlight and made his way to the living room where he turned on Duck Dynasty. I went back to bed and dreamed the craziest dreams that I won't go into here, but suffice it to say they included ex-husbands, dogs replacing babies, crevices in the hallway, and bank robbery. Oliver told me that at some point mid-Duck Dynasty, he came to my room and peered in at me, wondering if he should wake me up again. He told me this while I was toasting his English muffin and thanking him for being so less dramatic than he'd been the night before.

I was gonna wake you up and cuddle with you but from the doorway you looked sort of like a gorilla in bed.

Reader, the vanity is slipping away from me, at least the last remnants of it.