Showing posts with label Jeff Golub. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jeff Golub. Show all posts

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Sunday Thoughts



We must become intimate with anger to clear the way to our connectiveness, to our vulnerability and an aliveness to everything. In the end, our anger is transmuted to wisdom, which in turn gives rise to compassion.
from Holding Anger, by Jules Shuzen Harris, Sensei in Tricycle Magazine


Last night I spoke on the phone for hours with my oldest friend, Audrey, who lost her husband on New Year's Day of a terrible neuro-degenerative disease, supra-nuclear palsy. We laughed together -- a lot -- even as we talked about overwhelmingly sad things, and I was struck by our long connection to one another, how comfortable it was to lie on my bed and listen to her familiar voice tell me stories, the story of her husband, his illness, his final days, her children's remarkable compassion, her own strength and ability to recognize her failings, the extraordinary love she carries and projects.  It's these things that tie me to the world.

I read Timothy Kudo's  beautiful Op-Ed piece How We Learned to Kill  and felt the sour taste of anger rise like bile in my throat, the absurdity of all of it.

I read the above quoted article about anger this morning and wondered where I was on the journey referenced -- intimacy -- connectiveness -- vulnerability -- aliveness -- wisdom -- compassion. Perhaps, like grief, these things come and they go, get mixed up with laughter, a sense of absurdity, even desperation, and then grounding.



Friday, January 2, 2015

Thinking of Jeff Golub and Light

photo by incomparable Jenni Werndorf



In the saddest of news, one of my oldest friends from childhood, Audrey, lost her husband, the great jazz guitarist Jeff Golub, on New Year's morning. He had been suffering from a rare and incurable neurodegenerative disease, and he and Audrey had chosen to forego life-prolonging treatment, so his passing was peaceful. But damn, I'm so sad for Audrey, for their two young sons, for all of us to have lost this dear, warm and talented man so soon. Audrey is one of the strongest women I know, and I hate being so far away from her at this time. It's weird to go about the day -- like everything's all normal -- holding this inside. I swallow the lump in my throat, think bewildered thoughts, send love to Audrey. I don't know about anything sometimes. Life.

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